Gilligan's Island Script
Episode #95, "It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's Gilligan"
(A United States jetpack washes ashore in the lagoon)
GILLIGAN’S ISLAND
"It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's Gilligan"
by
Sam Locke
and
Joel Rapp
January 24, 1967
TEASER
FADE IN:
INT - AIR FORCE BUILDING - DAY
INSERT - MOVIE SCREEN SHOWING A MAN WEARING A JETPACK AND
TAKING OFF. HE IS FLYING AND DROPPING SIMULATED EXPLOSIVES.
THERE ARE TWO AIR FORCE OFFICERS WATCHING THE MOVIE.
COLONEL
Now watch this next maneuver General.
INSERT - PILOT DEMONSTRATES VARIES MANEUVERS WEARING THE
JETPACK SUCH AS FLYING OVER BUILDINGS AND SHIPS AND FLYING
ACROSSED OPEN WATER. THE MOVIE ENDS.
COLONEL
Well Sir?
GENERAL
Ah, seems like quite a devise Colonel.
You're ah convinced that I should authorize
this for official Air Force use?
COLONEL
General, our tests in the Pacific indicate
that the XJP will render all other manually
controlled jetpacks obsolete.
It's compact and lightweight. Practically
anybody can operate it and it has a range of
over five hundred miles.
Frankly sir I think it's a perfect machine.
There's a knock on the door.
COLONEL
Come in!
A lieutenant enters the room and salutes. He is
carrying a letter for the Colonel.
LIEUTENANT
Begging the Colonels pardon sir.
COLONEL
Yes Lieutenant?
LIEUTENANT
Just received this message from the test ship
in the pacific sir.
He hands the message to the Colonel who then reads it
silently.
GENERAL
Bad news Colonel?
COLONEL
It seems out perfect machine has become a
victim of human error sir.
The General takes the message and reads out loud.
GENERAL
JETPACK XJP LOST AT SEA.
PLEASE ADVISE.
Yah that is bad news.
COLONEL
Yes sir.
We certainly wouldn't want the XJP to fall
into the wrong hands.
Lieutenant, authorize the fleet to begin a
search for the pack at once!
LIEUTENANT
Yes sir.
The lieutenant salutes and walks out.
COLONEL
I wouldn't be too concerned General. The
pack should stay afloat for several days
and...Well I believe our ships will find it.
GENERAL
Good.
You know what I can't believe is that man has
reached the age where he can fly like a bird.
You know...I haven't seen one of these since I
was a boy reading the adventures of Buck
Rogers!
FLIP TO: EXT - LAGOON - DAY
Gilligan and skipper are seen examining the jetpack
that washed ashore.
SKIPPER
Buck who?!
GILLIGAN
Buck Rogers. He was the guy who use to fly
around in one of these things.
SKIPPER
Oh Gilligan why don't you stop...
The professor walks up behind Gilligan and the skipper.
He doesn't see the jetpack at first.
PROFESSOR
Hi any luck?
What's that!?
GILLIGAN
I think its Buck Rogers rocket.
PROFESSOR
Let me see that!
GILLIGAN
If it's Buck Rogers's rocket his mother would
have sewn his name on it somewhere.
SKIPPER
Gilligan! There is no such person as Buck
Rogers! He was a comic book character!
GILLIGAN
Did you ever meet Buck Rogers?
SKIPPER
Of course not!
GILLIGAN
Then how do you know he wasn't a real
person!?
SKIPPER
I'm gonna explain it once more and then I'm...
PROFESSOR
Gilligan you're right!
GILLIGAN
I am?
SKIPPER
You mean...this does belong to Buck Rogers?
PROFESSOR
No! But this is a jet powered flight pack and
it's practically full of fuel!
SKIPPER
Well maybe we can find some way to use it to
get off the Island!
PROFESSOR
I'll begin experiments right away!
You know...it's just possible that there's
enough fuel in this jetpack to get it all the
way back to Hawaii!
SKIPPER
Oh boy! Let's start experimenting!
Come on Gilligan!
Gilligan, the skipper and the professor take the
jetpack and run off down a path next to the lagoon.
FADE OUT:
ACT ONE
FADE IN: EXT - HUT - DAY
STOCK SHOT OF HUT EXTERIOR WITH CREDITS OVERLAYED
CUT TO: INT - HUT - DAY
The professor is seen in his hut with tables loaded
with test tubes and various other equipment made from
gourds, bamboo and vines.
The professor is just about to mix two samples in test
tubes when the Skipper and Gilligan come running into
the hut.
GILLIGAN
Hey professor! Professor!
The professor, being startled, spills the two test
tubes.
PROFESSOR
Oh good heavens, look what you made me do!
SKIPPER
Sorry professor, but we're dying to find out
if this jetpack is going to be able to fly to
Hawaii!
PROFESSOR
Well there's a chance skipper, but...
SKIPPER
Did you hear that Gilligan!? One of us might
be able to fly to Hawaii! Isn't that great
news!?
GILLIGAN
Yeah it's a long trip there. I hope the
jetpack has a good movie!
SKIPPER
Yes, so do I because...
The skipper gives Gilligan a dirty look.
PROFESSOR
When you gentlemen leave I can complete this
fuel analysis.
SKIPPER
All right professor we're going right now,
come on Gilligan.
As the skipper and Gilligan start leaving the hut,
Gilligan turns around and starts to ask another
question.
GILLIGAN
Professor I have just one more question...
The skipper, seeing what Gilligan is doing, grabs him
and hauls him out of the hut.
The skipper and Gilligan leave the hut as the professor
returns to his table and begins his experiments again.
As before, as he begins to mix the two test tubes
together, Mary Ann and Ginger come running into the
hut.
MARY ANN
Oh professor!
GINGER
Professor!
Once again, being startled, the professor spills the
test tubes.
PROFESSOR
Why did you girls have to burst in to the
middle of an experiment?!
GINGER
Ah we're sorry professor but we heard that
Gilligan found some kind of a jetpack to get
us off the island!
PROFESSOR
Well it's possible Ginger, but I won't know
until I complete these tests.
GINGER
OH you just don't know how disparately I want
to breathe the heady wines of civilization
again. OH to meet a tall handsome man and
have a candle lit dinner for two and then
after dinner to dance...OH just to float...just
float through the air until dawns gentle
fingers pull back the soft blanket of night.
That's a scene from a tender romantic movie I
was in. It was called "The bird people meet
the chicken pluckers".
PROFESSOR
All right will you girls LEAVE now so I can
continue my work!
GINGER & MARY ANN
But professor!
PROFESSOR
All right OUT! SHOO! I'll let you know the
results the moment I'm finished! Now GO!
The professor escorts the girls to the door and sees
them out. He checks outside once again to see if there
is anyone else lurking outside. Again, the professor
returns to his work, confident there will be no further
interruptions. As he begins to pour the two test tubes
together just as Mr. and Mrs. Howell run into the hut.
Mr. Howell grabs the professor's arm to get his
attention.
MR HOWELL
Professor!
Once again the professor spills the contents of the
test tubes.
MR HOWELL
Oh I'm terribly sorry!
MRS HOWELL
Oh dear professor did we cause you to spill
that?!
PROFESSOR
Oh not at all Mrs. Howell. I've had so much
practice recently I could have spilled it
without you help.
MR HOWELL
How soon will you know if the flight is
feasible?
PROFESSOR
Well if you'll both be quiet, I will know in
a minute.
The professor pours the two test tubes together and one
of them foams up and over the top with a blue foam.
MRS HOWELL
Well professor? Can one of us fly off for
help now?
PROFESSOR
I'm afraid not Mrs. Howell. Although my
experiments indicate the jetpack has
sufficient flight range to reach Hawaii, I'm
afraid such a flight would be terribly
terribly risky.
MR HOWELL
Nothing is too risky to save a Howell.
MRS HOWELL
Two Howells dear.
MR HOWELL
That's right, make that two Howells.
PROFESSOR
Besides risk, we're facing a time problem.
You see the fuel in this jetpack has given me
a propellant potency retention problem.
MR HOWELL
How dare you talk that way in front of my
wife!
PROFESSOR
A what I meant was, that this particular type
of fuel loses its potency when it gets old.
MR HOWELL
Nonsense professor! Haven't you
heard...there's no fuel like an old fuel!
HA that was a witty one!
FLIP TO: EXT - HUT - DAY
Mr. and Mrs. Howell are seen crouched down behind some
jungle plants watching the professor leave the hut
where he's been doing the experiments.
MR HOWELL
(SOTTO)
Let's sneak in and get the jetpack.
MRS HOWELL
Oh it seems such a mean trick to play on Gilligan.
MR HOWELL
(SOTTO)
Well I know how you feel dear, but...but you
heard the professor. If one of us doesn't
attempt this trip soon, our chance at being
rescued will be ruined.
MRS HOWELL
True.
MR HOWELL
(SOTTO)
Gilligan is the only one on the island that
can make this trip. He's young, he's wiry
and he's agile.
Besides who else could we possibly trick into
doing it!?
FLIP TO: EXT - JUNGLE CLEARING - DAY
Mr. Howell is seen wearing the jetpack as Mrs. Howell
is seen with Gilligan as she attempts to stop Mr.
Howell from taking the flight.
MRS HOWELL
You see Gilligan he's determined to go
through with this!
MR HOWELL
Lovey! How dare you bring Gilligan here!
He's sure to try and stop me from...from making
this flight.
GILLIGAN
Now wait a minute Mr. Howell.
MR HOWELL
I don't know how to forgive you Lovey for
what you've done!
GILLIGAN
Don't be angry Mr. Howell. She doesn't want
you to make the flight either.
MR HOWELL
Well if I won't make the flight who will?
GILLIGAN
Well...
MR HOWELL
Ah HA! I should have known that you would
want to grab the glory!
GILLIGAN
Oh...
MR HOWELL
Oh you can't fool me Gilligan! You know who
ever makes this flight will be a national
hero! And you're aching to go instead of me!
GILLIGAN
Is that what you think!?
MR HOWELL
I don't THINK sir, I KNOW!
GILLIGAN
I know you don't know either!
MR HOWELL
Now wait a minute, wait a minute don't try
and stop me! Cause it won't do any good.
GILLIGAN
Ok I won't try and stop you.
MR HOWELL
Well I know your persistence is hard to
breakdown my boy, but before you convince me
that you should go instead of me. Give me
one good reason, one sir, why I shouldn't
make this flight!
MRS HOWELL
Thurston, if anything happened to you, who
would take care of me and all our beloved
little Howells?
GILLIGAN
What beloved little Howells?
MRS HOWELL
Well the Howell steel company and the Howel
chemical company and the Howell...
MR HOWELL
That's just it Lovey! I'm tired of being a
man who's known for the companies he keeps!
I want to be known as a man who would risk
his life for his dear and beloved friends!
MRS HOWELL
Oh Thurston!
MR HOWELL
Please try to understand Gilligan. Despite
my advanced age, and my physical inability,
and the fact that you're more qualified, I am
going to make this flight! So please leave
me to do...what I must do!
GILLIGAN
That's very brave and noble Mr. Howell. But
I think I ought to be the one that takes the
flight.
MRS HOWELL
There you just go! You heard what Mr. Howell
said. Go ahead! I want to be alone to say
goodbye to my husband.
Gilligan walks off as Mrs. Howell is saying her last
goodbye.
MR HOWELL
Lovey how could you!?
MRS HOWELL
Oh darling how could I what, you brave
courageous thing?
MR HOWELL
Well how could you make Gilligan go away?
MRS HOWELL
But you SAID you wanted him to leave!
MR HOWELL
No it was just an act, to trick him into
making the flight!
MRS HOWELL
Oh darling I forgot what a marvelous actor
you were! Oh and all this is just a little
play.
Are you furious with me?
MR HOWELL
Of course not...it's showbiz!
DISSOLVE TO: EXT - JUNGEL CLEARING - DAY
Mary Ann and Ginger are in the clearing with Ginger
wearing the jetpack.
GINGER
Hurry up Mary Ann, I think I hear Gilligan!
Hurry up!
MARY ANN
Ok...
Oh Gilligan! Gilligan! Oh come quick!
GILLIGAN
What is it Mary Ann?
MARY ANN
Oh Gilligan, Ginger is going to fly to
Hawaii, you've got to stop her!
GILLIGAN
You better find somebody else. I already
tried to stop Mr. Howell and couldn't do it.
GINGER
Nobody is going to stop me Mary Ann.
If I have to sacrifice myself for my friends
I intend to do so.
GILLIGAN
You don't want to sacrifice yourself!
GINGER
Of course I do!
Is there a brave decent person on this island
that wouldn't want to?
GILLIGAN
No, but there's a rotten cowardly person that
doesn't want to.
MARY ANN
Gilligan!
GILLIGAN
You guessed it!
GINGER
Mary Ann...um...would you give me a few minutes
alone with Gilligan?
Marry Ann gets the high sign from Ginger and pretends
to leave.
GINGER
Gilligan?
GILLIGAN
Hmmm?
GINGER
There's something that I want to do before I
fly away.
GILLIGAN
Buy insurance?
GINGER
No. I want to give you a goodbye kiss.
GILLIGAN
You don't have to! I'm not going anyplace!
Ginger starts to kiss Gilligan as Mary Ann removes the
jetpack from Ginger and places it on Gilligan. Ginger
continues to kiss Gilligan as Mary Ann straps the
jetpack into place.
CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE - DAY
The skipper and the professor are seen walking through
the jungle near where Ginger and Gilligan are.
SKIPPER
...I see, well, now let me get this plan
straight professor. We build a dummy, we
strap the jetpack to it, pin a note to it and
then send it off to Hawaii from a launching
pad.
PROFESSOR
Exactly! Here's the drawing I made.
The professor hands skipper the paper with the drawing.
The skipper examines the plans intently.
SKIPPER
Wow what a brilliant idea!
PROFESSOR
Well frankly skipper, I think it's my most
brilliant idea. There's only one thing I'm
not certain of.
SKIPPER
Oh what's that?
PROFESSOR
If it'll work!
The skipper and professor look up and notices Ginger kissing
Gilligan.
CUT TO: EXT - CLEARING - DAY
Gilligan is wearing the jetpack as Mary Ann looks on.
CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE - DAY
The skipper and professor look on as they see Ginger
and Gilligan still locked in a kiss.
SKIPPER
Wow, I wonder what's going on over there!?
The skipper and the professor take off towards the
clearing to see what's going on.
CUT TO: EXT - CLEARING - DAY
PROFESSOR
Good heavens...what's going on here?!
GINGER
Ah professor...wa...well...
MARY ANN
Well I guess we'd better confess Ginger.
We were desperate, we wanted somebody to try
to fly to Hawaii.
PROFESSOR
Well you can stop being desperate Mary Ann.
Someone IS going to fly to Hawaii!
GINGER
They are?! Who?!
SKIPPER
The dummy!
At hearing the word dummy, Gilligan comes too from his
encounter with Ginger.
GILLIGAN
Huh? What'd you say?
SKIPPER
I said the dummy is going to fly to Hawaii!
Gilligan thinks the skipper means him and over reacts
immediately.
GILLIGAN
Oh no I'm not! I'm not flying anyplace!
How'd I get in this thing?! Let me out of
here! I'm getting out of here!
Gilligan gets the jetpack off and hands it away.
GILLIGAN
Here take this jetpack!
Gilligan runs off screen.
DISSOLVE TO: INT - HUT - DAY
Ginger and Mary Ann are busy at work on the dummy.
MARY ANN
There! How do you think he looks?
GINGER
Well...he's not exactly Rock Hudson, but I
guess he'll have to do. Now we have to make
sure he's six feet five inches tall.
MARY ANN
How we gonna find that out without a tape
measurer?
GINGER
Easy!
Ginger walks up to the dummy and puts her arms around
it's neck and waist as though she's going to kiss it.
MARY ANN
Ginger, what are you doing?
GINGER
Well I use to go steady with this basketball
player, he was exactly six feet five...and I
know just how much I had to reach up to kiss
him.
Mrs. Howell enters the hut and does not immediately notice
Ginger with her arms around the dummies neck and waist.
MRS HOWELL
Oh Ginger have you got a...?
GINGER
What is it Mrs. Howell?
MRS HOWELL
Well I don't mean to meddle dear, but since
that dummy is about to fly away, do you think
it wise to become emotionally involved?
DISSOLVE TO: EXT - JUNGLE CLEARING - DAY
Gilligan, the skipper and the professor are standing
around an angled launch pad with the dummy lying
against it.
SKIPPER
There's just one thing I don't understand
professor?
PROFESSOR
Yes?
SKIPPER
Well...how's the dummy going to operate the
jetpack when he flies to Hawaii?
PROFESSOR
You see, by building him to exact height and
weight specifications...and by placing him
precisely at the proper angle on the pad, I
feel the essential thrust of the rocket will
be enough to send him on a direct and
unswerving azimuth to Hawaii.
SKIPPER
Ah...did you hear that Gilligan?
GILLIGAN
My right ear heard it, my left ear is waiting
for the translation.
PROFESSOR
I merely said the dummies all set to go!
GILLIGAN
Oh you know skipper, I'm kind of worried
about the dummy making the flight.
SKIPPER
Oh you don't have to worry about that, the
professor's got it all worked out. Dummy
will definitely fly to Hawaii.
GILLIGAN
Do you think he's dressed right? You know
it's the rainy season in Honolulu.
SKIPPER
Yes I know but I don't think he should...
Oh will you stop with that conversation!
PROFESSOR
Now...all I have to do is write this note, put
it on the dummy and we'll be all set to blast
off.
GILLIGAN
Have a good trip dummy! Don't forget to
write!
Gilligan gives the dummy a good luck slap on the back
and the dummy falls over face down. The professor and
the skipper are not too pleased.
GILLIGAN
I'll pick it up.
Gilligan straddles the dummy in order to pick it up and
inadvertently hits the activation button on the end of
the control grip. The jetpack activates and Gilligan
and the dummy start to jet across the ground through
the jungle.
PROFESSOR
Gilligan stop him! I haven't finished the
note!
GILLIGAN
Skipper! Skipper!
The skipper and the professor take off after Gilligan
who is now screaming along a jungle path on the back of
the dummy.
CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE - DAY
INSERT: VIEW POINT JUST BEHIND GILLIGAN OF TRIP THROUGH
JUNGLE AND OUT INTO THE LAGOON.
CUT TO: EXT - LAGOON - DAY
Gilligan rides the dummy into the lagoon and falls off.
The skipper and the professor come to Gilligans aid.
illigan crawls out of the lagoon and onto the shore.
GILLIGAN
Ah, ah...where's the dummy!?
Oh here it comes.
The dummy and jetpack slowly arrive back on shore and
is pick up by the professor, which he then examines.
PROFESSOR
Oh I was afraid of that!
The trip through the jungle and the water
carrying the extra weight used up practically
all the fuel!
SKIPPER
WHAT! You mean we won't be able to fly it to
Hawaii?!
PROFESSOR
Afraid not.
SKIPPER
Will the real dummy PLEASE stand UP!
The skipper gets frustrated and hits Gilligan with his hat.
FADE OUT
ACT TWO
FADE IN: INT - HUT - DAY
Gilligan, the skipper and the professor are in the
professor's hut with the jetpack. The professor has
been examining the jetpack after Gilligan's little
trip.
SKIPPER
Well professor?
PROFESSOR
Well...my original conclusion was correct.
After Gilligan's little cruise around the
lagoon, there isn't nearly enough fuel left
for a flight to Hawaii.
SKIPPER
(to Gilligan)
You know what you are!? You're bumbling,
stupid, incompetent and useless...and those are
your good points!
GILLIGAN
Your right skipper.
Gilligan takes the skipper's hat and hits himself with
it.
GILLIGAN
I deserve it.
Mr. and Mrs. Howell come running into the hut.
MR HOWELL
Professor! Professor! We...we heard the most
marvelous news on...on the radio...the news cast!
MRS HOWELL
All Mr. Howell's stocks have gone up!
MR HOWELL
A no...that's not the good news. We heard
there'll be a fleet of ships in the area
tomorrow to make a final search for the
jetpack! That's the good news.
SKIPPER
What do you make of that professor?
PROFESSOR
Well it's a long shot skipper, but I've got
an idea that might reduce the odds.
GILLIGAN
Can I help professor?
PROFESSOR
Please Gilligan...
GILLIGAN
I want to do something to make up for what I
did. Please professor?
SKIPPER
Gilligan, why don't you go take a flying
leap!
PROFESSOR
That's it exactly skipper! That's the basis
for my whole idea! A flying leap!
GILLIGAN
Huh?
PROFESSOR
All right listen. There's enough fuel left
in the jetpack for about a fifteen minute
flight. Now suppose one of us were to put on
the pack and go straight up while the ships
were in the area. That would improve our
chances of being spotted immeasurably!
SKIPPER
Certainly would! Well that makes great
sense!
MRS HOWELL
Oh professor! It's wonderful having someone
like you with us! Your absolutely marvelous!
MR HOWELL
If you were a Republican, you'd be perfect.
DISSOLVE TO: EXT - HUT - DAY
Mr. Howell, Gilligan and the skipper are pacing around
outside the hut where the professor is working waiting
for the results of his tests.
GILLIGAN
The professor sure is taking a long time to
decide whether his plans gonna work or not.
MR HOWELL
Oh it will work Gilligan. The professor's
trying to decide who will get the assignment
of strapping on the jetpack and soaring up in
the air.
SKIPPER
Oh I guess that's it.
MR HOWELL
A well...I suggest to save time, we volunteer.
Anyone volunteer to go up one hundred feet?
Ninety feet?
Anyone willing to put on my elevator shoes?
The professor walks out of the hut.
SKIPPER
Well professor?
PROFESSOR
Well it'll work. One of us can go up in the
morning and the flight should be
comparatively safe.
MR HOWELL
I knew it! NOW who will volunteer?
PREOFESSOR
Mr. Howell we can't pick our flyer on a
volunteer basis!
MR HOWELL
Well why not?
GILLIGAN
Because no one wants to volunteer!
MR HOWELL
Well that's not true I am not afraid, I
would love to go!
SKIPPER
Oh come on Mr. Howell!
PROFESSOR
Oh I'm sure Mr. Howell is quite sincere. But
since the rise in altitude causes a lose of
oxygen to the brain, we're going to have to
take a test to determine which of us is least
likely to become light headed or dizzy.
MR HOWELL
Take me...take me professor! I'd love to soar
into the wild blue yonder I would...
Mr. Howell suddenly gets frightened as he realizes he
has a fear of heights and is up on is toes as he was
speaking.
MR HOWELL
I get so dizzy on my tippy toes!
Mr. Howell grabs the professor for support.
MR HOWELL
Oh hold me professor!
DISSOLVE TO: EXT - CLEARING - DAY
Mary Ann is peddling a bicycle like device used to
rotate a large cylinder made from scraps of wood and
bamboo. Ginger is standing by the cylinder as it goes
around and is keeping time.
GINGER
Time Mary Ann!
Mary Ann stops peddling and gets off the bike. The
cylinder slows to a stop and Ginger opens the door.
The skipper, Mr. Howell and the professor step out in
slow motion. They spin and fall in slow motion as it's
apparent they are all extremely dizzy and disoriented.
SKIPPER
Wow I can hardly walk!
MR HOWELL
I haven't felt like this since I was elected
president of the wine tasting society.
PROFESSOR
Where's Gilligan?
MR HOWELL
Yeah.
Just then, Gilligan pops his head out of the door of
the cylinder. It's apparent the rotation has had no
effect on him.
GILLIGAN
Hi everybody! Is the ride over already?
That's too bad, I was just having fun!
MARY ANN
Why Gilligan isn't dizzy or light headed!
SKIPPER
That's because he's dizzy and light headed
all the time. He's just use to it.
MR HOWELL
Gilligan my boy, you've been selected as our
astronaut fairly and squarely.
GILLIGAN
I have!?
Could we take the test over again, this time
I'll cheat a little!
PROFESSOR
Oh come on Gilligan you're about to begin
your training as an astronaut.
GILLIGAN
Oh professor do I have to?
GINGER
Well your not afraid are you?
GILLIGAN
Me afraid? Me afraid?
Me afraid!!
DISSOLVE TO: EXT - CLEARING - DAY
Gilligan is hung from vines and is seen swinging back
and forth. The skipper is pulling on vines making
Gilligan swing. Mr. and Mrs. Howell are seen laying on
lounge chairs, drinking their tropical drinks and
enjoying the afternoon.
MR HOWELL
Ninety eight...ninety nine...
MRS HOWELL
Thurston?
MR HOWELL
Ah yes my dear?
MRS HOWELL
This astronaut training is rather vigorous
isn't it?
MR HOWELL
Yes it's hard to relax with Gilligan hanging
about.
How's your drink my dear?
MRS HOWELL
Very nice thank you.
MR HOWELL
Would you care for another one?
MRS HOWELL
Oh thank you dear...this time would you give me
a little mint?
MR HOWELL
Which little mint would you prefer? The one
in Denver or the one in San Francisco?
Ha! That's a Howell rich joke!
GILLIGAN
What's the count Mr. Howell?
MR HOWELL
The count?
MRS HOWELL
Oh of course darling we were suppose to count
his swings.
MR HOWELL
Oh yes yes...onesy, and now big...big twosy!
SKIPPER
NEVER MIND! what time is it Mrs. Howell?
MRS HOWELL
Oh it's so hard to see without my lorgnette.
It's a...four rubies past a diamond.
SKIPPER
Well I think he's had enough! Let's let him
down.
The skipper helps Gilligan get down from swinging.
SKIPPER
Are you all right little buddy?
GILLIGAN
I think so, but I don't think I was cut out
to be a swinger.
DISSOLVE TO: EXT - CLEARING - DAY
The professor is standing next to the launch guide as
the skipper carries Gilligan over his shoulder. Gilligan is
obviously not in great shape after the hours of training
SKIPPER
Here's our astronaut professor.
PROFESSOR
What's wrong with him?
SKIPPER
Well he's just so exhausted from all the
astronaut training that he's sound asleep. I
better wake him up.
Come on Gilligan...wake up.
Wake up!
Are you awake little buddy?
Gilligan appears to wake up and be responsive.
GILLIGAN
Sure skipper!
SKIPPER
Ah fine.
The skipper lets go of Gilligan who promptly goes back
to sleep and fall down on the ground.
PROFESSOR
Let's get him into the jetpack and onto the
launch pad before he wakes up.
According to the last news flash, the ships
won't be in the area for another ten minutes.
SKIPPER
All right lets get him up.
DISSOLVE TO: EXT - CLEARING - DAY
Gilligan is now seen wearing the jetpack and standing
at the launch pad.
SKIPPER
Gilligan little buddy?
Gilligan?
Wake up! Rise and shine!
Gilligan wakes up and is still very groggy.
GILLIGAN
Hi skipper. I was dreaming about wearing the
jetpack and blasting of into space. I'm
going back to sleep and see how it turns out.
SKIPPER
But that's no dream Gilligan, you are going
to blast off in a jetpack!
GILLIGAN
I am?
SKIPPER
Yes!
Gilligan becomes fully awake and realizes he's wearing
the jetpack and panics.
GILLIGAN
I am! Oh I'm getting out of here!
Gilligan makes the attempt to leave but is held back by
the skipper.
SKIPPER
Oh now wait a minute Gilligan, we've got to
get you up in the air so those Navy ships can
spot you and we can all get off the island.
PROFESSOR
Gilligan, I'm sending the radio up with you
so you'll know from the news flashes exactly
when the ships are in the area and exactly
when they've spotted you.
The professor places the radio which has a cord through
the handle around Gilligan's neck.
PROFESSOR
Good luck!
GILLIGAN
Professor do I really have to!?
The professor takes a pocket watch and uses it as a
countdown timer. The skipper is busy preparing
gilligan for his flight. All three are talking at
once.
SKIPPER GILLIGAN PROFESSOR
All right,
count down
Ah professor I ten
Don't think we nine
Should leave this
Island! Eight
Would you get his I mean I really like seven
hand there it very very much! Six
Professor. It's really a nice
Island! five
Put your hand on I'm not going up! Four
This. I'm not going up! Three
I'm not! Two
Good luck I'm not going up! One
Gilligan! I'm not! Blast-off
(skipper activate
the jetpack) I'm going up!
Oh I'm not gonna
go up again!
Gilligan blasts off and goes straight up with a cloud
of fire and smoke.
INSERT: AN ACTUAL BELL LABRATORIES JETPACK IS SEEN FLY OVER
TREES. THE PILOT IS DRESSED LIKE GILLIGAN WITH A RED SHIRT
AND LIGHT BLUE PANTS.
CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE - DAY
All the castaways are present and are standing on a
slight hill. The professor is looking through a pair of
binoculars as the others look skyward.
SKIPPER
Well do you see him professor?
PROFESSOR
There he is!
And he's just at the right altitude for our
ships to spot him.
CUT TO: GILLIGAN IN JETPACK AT ALTITUDE HOVERING.
GILLIGAN
It's not so bad up here!
In fact it's kind of fun!
I'm a bird! I'm a plane!
I'm super Gilligan!
A seagull flies past Gilligan as he hovers at his
assigned altitude. The seagull "quacks" like a duck.
GILLIGAN
It's the only way to fly!
CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE - DAY
The castaways are still in same position looking
skywards.
MARY ANN
Won't it be wonderful when those sailors pick
us up Ginger?
GINGER
Won't be the first time it's happened to me
Mary Ann!
CUT TO: GILLIGAN HOVERING
GILLIGAN
Shouldn't be too long now.
Better keep my ears open for the news.
Gilligan reaches down and turns on the radio. Gilligan
is still tired and yawns.
GILLIGAN
Keep my eyes open too.
The radio being on, now has a news bulletin of
interest.
RADIO
"WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM TO BRING YOU A
BULLETIN FROM THE PACIFIC, WHERE NAVY SHIPS
ARE SEARCHING FOR A LOST EXPERIMENTAL
JETPACK. THIS IS CHICK HERN REPORTING TO YOU
FROM THE DECK OF THE DESTROYER REDWOOD AND WE
HAVE JUST SIGHTED A UFO IN THIS AREA!"
GILLIGAN
A UFO!? That's an unidentified flying object
from another planet!
Uh I wonder where it is I wonder where it is!
RADIO
"ABOUT TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY MILES SOUTH OF
HAWAII."
GILLIGAN
That's right where I am!
RADIO
"NAVY OBSERVERS HAVE NOT YET DETERMINED
WHETHER THE UFO IS FRIENDLY OR UNFRIENDLY."
GILLIGAN
I'm not waiting to find out. I'm getting out
of here!
Gilligan kicks in the rocket and rises in to a cloud.
RADIO
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THE UFO HAS JUST
DISSAPEARED INTO A CLOUD BANK."
GILLIGAN
Yeah good! As long as it's in a cloud it'll
never see me!
CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE - DAY
The castaways are still watching the sky.
MR HOWELL
What's the matter with him professor?
MARY ANN
What's he doing?
PROFESSOR
Well he's steered himself into a cumulous
cloud!
SKIPPER
Oh no! If he's in the cloud those ships
won't be able to spot him!
PROFESSOR
Oh that's not the worst of it!
MRS HOWELL
Oh what do you mean professor?
PROFESSOR
Now that he's flown into a cumulous cloud,
the exhaust from the jet fuel is bound to
seed the water vapor and the result of that
will be...
It starts to rain heavily
GINGER
RAIN!
PROFESSOR
That's a reasonably accurate guess Ginger!
They all try to protect themselves as it continues to
rain harder as they run back to their huts.
DISSOLVE TO: INT - HUT - DAY
Everyone is either seated or standing in the hut. They
are all soaking wet and are using blankets to keep
warm. Gilligan is back with them and the radio is on
the table.
RADIO
"AND SO AS A RESULT OF THE UNEXPECTED HEAVY
RAIN STORM IN THE AREA, THE NAVY HAS DECIDED
TO ABANDON THEIR SEARCH FOR THE LOST JETPACK"
GINGER
That's the end of that.
SKIPPER
(TO GILLGAN)
And all because you dived into a cloud and
started the rain!
GILLIGAN
Yeah but the radio said there was a UFO in the
area and I was scared.
PROFESSOR
Gilligan there was no need for you to be
frightened. You were the UFO they spotted.
GILLIGAN
Huh?
MARY ANN
They saw you flying around up there and
reported an unidentified flying object.
GILLIGAN
Me? A UFO?
SKIPPER
Yeah and you scared yourself right into
ruining our chances of getting off the
island!
GILLIGAN
Well if I'm a UFO I gotta know one thing!
SKIPPER
What's that?
GILLIGAN
Am I from Mars or Venus? Where do I come
from?
SKIPPER
It all depends on how far I have to chase
you!
The skipper takes off after Gilligan and chases him
around the hut. Gilligan runs for the door with the
skipper hot on his heels. At the last second, Gilligan
dodges to the left and the skipper heads out the door
by himself. Gilligan seeing he's now safe, latches the
door to keep the skipper out. The skipper now standing
outside in the rain is not too pleased. He reaches
through the doors window and unlatches the door. The
skipper, now in full threatening view of Gilligan,
signals Gilligan to join him in the rain which Gilligan
does without complaint. The other castaways find this
rather humorous and begin laughing.
FADE OUT
EPILOG
FADE IN: INT - HUT - DAY
The Skipper and the professor are seen entering the hut
where the professor has been conducting more
experiments with the jetpack.
PROFESSOR
...Once I figured out how to synthesize the
jet fuel, it was a simple matter to make
enough to make two trips to Hawaii.
SKIPPER
Oh boy professor! How soon are we gonna try
it!?
PROFESSOR
Well I've already filled the fuel tanks on
the jetpack and once we build a new dummy we
can...
The professor notices the missing jetpack.
SKIPPER
What's the matter?
PROFESSOR
The jetpack is gone!
Mary Ann comes running into the hut.
MARY ANN
Oh professor! Skipper come quick!
PROFESSOR
What's the matter!?
MARY ANN
Oh it's Gilligan! He's put the jetpack on
and he's gonna launch himself to Hawaii!
SKIPPER
Oh no!
MARY ANN
Oh he thinks it's his fault we weren't
rescued the last time.
SKIPPER
Well let's go!
CUT TO: EXT - CLEARING - DAY
Gilligan is seen wearing the jetpack getting ready to
take off. The skipper, professor and Mary Ann come
running from behind him.
PROFESSOR
Gilligan WAIT!
GILLIGAN
Don't worry professor I haven't forgotten one
thing you told me about the jetpack not one
single solitary thing.
Gilligan activates the jetpack which promptly launches
itself into the sky. Gilligan is left standing in the
clearing with everyone else looking on.
GILLIGAN
Except to buckle it on!
SKIPPER
Nice going Gilligan!
GILLIGAN
Skipper give me a boost!
Gilligan is going to attempt reaching up to get the
already departed jetpack.
SKIPPER
Yeah sure Gilligan.
Give you a boost! I'll give you a boost!
Skipper is about to clobber Gilligan when we...
FADE OUT:
END CREDITS