TEASER

FADE IN:

EXT. OCEAN BEACH - ESTABLISHING SHOT - DAY

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. JUNGLE HILL - DAY

Mr. Howell and Gilligan make their way down a hill. Gilligan carries Mr. Howell's bamboo golf clubs and a machete.

MR HOWELL

Fore! All are playing through here. Where did it go, Gilligan?

Gilligan points with a golf club.

GILLIGAN

There it is, Mister Howell. I knew I'd find it.

Gilligan and Mr. Howell continue walking down the hill.

MR HOWELL

Oh, ho-ho. Well, good work, Gilligan. I never thought I'd see that one again.

(looks around to get bearings)

Now, uh, where am I?

GILLIGAN

Well, there's your avocado pit, Mister Howell. I don't know where we are.

MR HOWELL

What do you mean?

GILLIGAN

I mean I found your ball, but I lost the golf course.

MR HOWELL

"Lost the golf course."

(laughs)

And you call yourself a caddy.

GILLIGAN

No, I don‘t. You do.

MR HOWELL

Well, I'll never make that mistake again. Now just stand back.

Mr. Howell motions Gilligan to step out of the way of his golf swing.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

There you are.

Mr. Howell swings at the golf ball and misses it completely.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Where did it go, Gilligan?

Gilligan points to the golf ball still lying on the ground.

GILLIGAN

Right there.

GOLF BALL

sits on the sand.

BACK TO SCENE

MR HOWELL

Oh, there. Yes, yes, of course. I shanked it.

(muttering)

Winner rules.

GOLF BALL

sits on the sand. Mr. Howell lines up his shot.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Watch it, Gilligan.

BACK TO SCENE

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

At all times.

Mr. Howell swings at the golf ball.

GOLF BALL

sits on the sand.

Mr. Howell's swing and connects with the golf ball.

BACK TO SCENE

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Which way did it go?

GILLIGAN

Don't worry, Mister Howell. I'll find it.

Gilligan rushes to find the golf ball.

MR HOWELL

Yes, I think I sliced it over there.

EXT. CAVE EDGE - DAY

Gilligan wanders along the edge of what could be a sharp cliff or the mouth of a cave. He looks around. He puts the golf clubs and machete down. Gilligan notices a large hole in the ground and kneels by the edge.

GILLIGAN

I wonder where it is. Huh.

Gilligan peers into the darkness and leans over to get a better look.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

I wonder if it could be down ...

INT. CAVE - DAY

HIGH ANGLE - CAVE MOUTH AND FLOOR

EXT. CAVE EDGE - DAY

Gilligan falls into the cave.

GILLIGAN

... there!

INT. CAVE - DAY

Gilligan rests on the cave floor. The cave is fairly large, deep enough for Gilligan to stand up straight and not hit his head. The walls are covered with veins of lightly colored sparkling material throughout the rock. The cave floor is covered in sand. Gilligan picks up the golf ball from the cave floor and examines it.

EXT. CAVE EDGE - DAY

Mr. Howell searches for Gilligan at the edge of the cave.

MR HOWELL

Gilligan?

(pause)

Gilligan, my boy, where are you?

INT. CAVE - DAY

Gilligan sits up and dusts himself off. He calls up to Mr. Howell and holds up the golf ball.

GILLIGAN

Hey, Mister Howell, I found your ball.

EXT. CAVE EDGE - DAY

Mr. Howell peers down into the cave.

MR HOWELL

Ho-ho. Yes, yes, there you are.

INT. CAVE - DAY

Gilligan speaks to Mr. Howell from the cave.

GILLIGAN

Wait till you get back home and tell them about this. You made a cave-in-one.

EXT. CAVE EDGE - DAY

Mr. Howell speaks down to Gilligan.

MR HOWELL

Yes, I also sank the caddy with the same shot. Sank the caddy.

Mr. Howell laughs at his own joke. Mr. Howell notices the veins of brightly colored sparkly material on the cave walls. Mr. Howell gets down on his hands and knees at the edge of the cave.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Gilligan, man, what's -- what‘s that yellow stuff?

INT. CAVE - DAY

Gilligan looks around, trying to understand what Mr. Howell is talking about.

GILLIGAN

What yellow stuff?

EXT. CAVE EDGE - DAY

Mr. Howell points to the cave walls.

MR HOWELL

That, that yellow stuff all over the wall.

INT. CAVE - DAY

Gilligan finally understands what Mr. Howell is looking at.

GILLIGAN

Oh.

Gilligan gets up and walks over to a cave wall and examines the yellow sparkly material.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

You mean this yellow stuff that looks like gold?

EXT. CAVE EDGE - DAY

Mr. Howell lies near the cave edge and continues to speak with Gilligan.

MR HOWELL

Yes, yes. What is it?

INT. CAVE - DAY

Gilligan walks from the cave wall to a position closer to the cave entrance above him.

GILLIGAN

I think it is gold.

EXT. CAVE EDGE - DAY

Mr. Howell is astonished and excited.

MR HOWELL

Gold? Gold?!

Mr. Howells leans too far over the cave edge to maintain his balance and falls into the cave.

INT. CAVE - DAY

PUSH IN to Mr. Howell as he lies on this stomach. Gilligan kneels next to him.

MR HOWELL

Gold, Gilligan. I'm richer.

(points to his neck)

Hurt a little, but I'm richer!

FADE OUT.

END OF TEASER

ACT ONE

FADE IN:

EXT. OCEAN BEACH - ESTABLISHING SHOT - DAY

EXT. LAGOON SHORE - DAY

Mary Ann stands at the edge of the lagoon with a fishing pole. She pulls the hook out of the water and examines it. Ginger helps her fish.

GINGER

Oh, we lost the bait again.

MARY ANN

Oh, how many little fishes do we have left?

GINGER

Just one.

Mary Ann holds the lure and Ginger attaches the bait.

MARY ANN

How many did we have when we started?

GINGER

Twenty four.

MARY ANN

You mean we've lost twenty three already?

GINGER

Mm-hmm. If we hadn‘t gone fishing, we could‘ve had fish for dinner.

Mary Ann casts the reel out into the lagoon. Mary Ann reels the line in and encounters resistance. She begins to pull on the reel.

MARY ANN

Hey, I think we got a big one!

GINGER

Hey!

Ginger lends a hand to Mary Ann and they both pull on the rod.

MARY ANN

It feels like a whale. Oh, Ginger.

Skipper emerges from the jungle and sees the girls struggling with the fishing rod.

SKIPPER

Play him, girls, play him.

MARY ANN/GINGER

Skipper, help us!

SKIPPER

Don't let him go now. Here, I'll take it.

Skipper grabs the reel from Mary Ann and Ginger. Skipper enters the shallow water of the lagoon.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Wow. You have got a big one.

MARY ANN

Be careful.

Skipper grasps the line and pulls it hand-over-hand.

SKIPPER

Don't worry, ladies. I'll land him. He's putting up a good fight, but I think I've got his number now.

Mary Ann and Ginger pull the reel back up the lagoon beach, removing slack from the line.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Pull!

The Skipper catches his left thumb in a loop of the fishing line which tightens around it. The Skipper yells in pain.

The Skipper loses the line momentarily and removes the loop from his thumb. With his other hand, he grabs line running toward the object in the water and strongly pulls on the line.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Pull!

GINGER

Be careful, Skipper.

MARY ANN

Watch his teeth.

SKIPPER

Now, stand back. Stand back. Whatever it is might be playing possum.

The Skipper grabs the object in the water.

GINGER

Oh, he's picking it up.

The Skipper continues to drag the object ashore. He recognizes the object as the life raft from his boat, the SS Minnow.

SKIPPER

Hallelujah, ladies! We're saved! We're saved! We've caught a rubber life raft!

The girls cheer.

MARY ANN

Skipper!

SKIPPER

What a fish story this will make, catching our own life raft.

GINGER

From your boat?

SKIPPER

Yeah, it's the first time anybody ever caught a Minnow with a minnow!

INT. CAVE - DAY

Gilligan and Mr. Howell stand in the cave. Mr. Howell's hand shakes like a leaf.

GILLIGAN

Mister Howell, how do we know it's gold? Don't you have to make a test to be sure?

MR HOWELL

I already have, Gilligan. It's the best test in the world.

Mr. Howell's hand rests near a vein of gold on the cave wall. His hand flutters uncontrollably.

GILLIGAN

You're shaking like a leaf.

MR HOWELL

My doctors call it my "gold syndrome."

Gilligan is confused by the terminology.

GILLIGAN

"Syndrome"?

MR HOWELL

Yes, it's an allergy.

Gilligan briefly pretends to understand.

GILLIGAN

Oh. "Allergy"?

MR HOWELL

Yes, allergy. You see, any time I get near anything over 24 karats ...

Mr. Howell's hand starts to shake and he gasps for air and struggles to breathe, as if he suddenly has asthma.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

... I can't breathe.

Mr. Howell rolls his eyes back.

GILLIGAN

Boy, I can't wait to tell the Professor about this, and the Skipper, and the girls. We'll all be rich.

MR HOWELL

All?

GILLIGAN

Sure, Mr. Howell. Don't you remember? We all made an agreement to share everything on the island.

MR HOWELL

Yes, uh, yes, I, I do recall making that agreement, but, of course, then we didn't expect to find a gold mine. Understand? Don't you know what gold does to people, Gilligan?

GILLIGAN

Uh-huh. It makes them rich.

MR HOWELL

It makes them greedy.

GILLIGAN

Greedy?

MR HOWELL

Greedy.

GILLIGAN

What can we do, Mister Howell?

MR HOWELL

Well, we're going to keep this gold mine our secret.

GILLIGAN

Scout's honor, Mister Howell. I won't breathe a word to anybody. We'll leave this filthy gold where it is.

MR HOWELL

Yes, yes.

(pause)

No, no! No, no. We can't take that chance, you see, one of the others might fall in the hole like you and that would be that.

GILLIGAN

Gosh, Mister Howell, you're always thinking of the other fellow, aren't you?

MR HOWELL

Well, I'm a multi-millionaire. My life is ruined already. We have to protect our poor friends.

GILLIGAN

How, Mister Howell?

MR HOWELL

I'm going to hire you to mine the gold, you see. I won't pay you enough to cause you any trouble.

Mr. Howell places his hand near a gold vein on the cave wall and it flutters wildly.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Then I'll hide it so no one will ever be able to find it. How's that?

GILLIGAN

Promise you won't tell me where you put it?

Mr. Howell holds up two fingers in a peace-sign gesture.

MR HOWELL

Scout's honor.

GILLIGAN

Three.

Gilligan holds up three fingers in a boy scout salute. Mr. Howell extends a third finger, but rather than a boy scout salute, he spreads all three fingers in an awkward gesture. Mr. Howell's hand flutters near the gold vein.

FLIP TO:

EXT. JUNGLE - DAY

Mr. Howell and Gilligan make their way through the jungle back to camp. Gilligan carries Mr. Howell's golf clubs.

MR HOWELL

Fore! All clear. Don't forget, Gilligan, I'll see you first thing in the morning at the you-know-what.

GILLIGAN

"You-know-what"?

MR HOWELL

You know what.

GILLIGAN

Oh, the gold --

Mr. Howell interrupts Gilligan so he doesn't reveal the secret of the existence of the gold mine. Mr. Howell covers Gilligan's mouth with his hand.

MR HOWELL

Oh!

SKIPPER

Gilligan, there you are. Hello, Mister Howell.

(to Gilligan)

Where have you been?

GILLIGAN

Mister Howell and I, we were over there having a --

SKIPPER

Never mind, Gilligan. Guess what I found? You can guess all day, and you still wouldn't be able to get it.

GILLIGAN

Give us a hint.

SKIPPER

Well, it's an answer to all our problems, all our prayers. Oh, what I found will make your mouths water.

GILLIGAN

You found a gold mine!

Mr. Howell swings a golf club and hits Gilligan squarely on the shin. Gilligan cries out in pain and grabs his shin. Mr. Howell feigns concern.

SKIPPER

No, Gilligan. We caught our own life raft. From the Minnow. We're going to be able to get off this island.

GILLIGAN

Oh, then we're saved. Oh, boy, this is our lucky day. Mister Howell and I, you know...

Mr. Howell swings the golf club and hits Gilligan on the shin. Gilligan cries out in pain.

MR HOWELL

I'm sorry, Gilligan, I was playing through.

Gilligan winces in pain.

GILLIGAN

When can we leave, Skipper? Tomorrow? I'm ready to leave right now.

SKIPPER

Not so fast, Gilligan. I mean, we've got a lot of work to do on the raft. She's full of holes.

MR HOWELL

Oh, I'm glad to hear that.

SKIPPER

Glad?

MR HOWELL

No, I mean that you're gonna fix the raft.

SKIPPER

Don't you worry about a thing, Mister Howell. She'll be safe and sound when we all get on board.

MR HOWELL

I'm sure of it, Captain. I've sailed with you before. I know what you can do with a boat.

SKIPPER

(proudly)

Thanks, Mister Howell.

MR HOWELL

You handled our shipwreck magnificently.

SKIPPER

(irritated)

Well, anyway, Gilligan, I want you up and on the beach first thing in the morning, ready to work.

GILLIGAN

Oh, but I promised Mister Howell that I'd go down and dig in the --

Mr. Howell swings the golf club again, but Gilligan jumps out of the way and the club strikes the Skipper's shin instead.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

(to Mr. Howell)

Missed me.

FLIP TO:

INT. HOWELL HUT

Mrs. Howell sits at her vanity table and fiddles with her hair while looking in the mirror. Mr. Howell enters the hut. She barely pays attention to Mr. Howell.

MR HOWELL

Lovey, have I got news.

MRS HOWELL

News?

MR HOWELL

Yes, I discovered a gold mine on this island.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, that's wonderful.

MR HOWELL

There's only one complication. I don't think we'll be able to mine the gold.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, that's dreadful.

MR HOWELL

You see, the Skipper found a raft and it looks like were gonna be rescued.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, that's wonderful.

MR HOWELL

So we won't have time to mine the gold.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, that's dreadful.

MR HOWELL

Gilligan has to work all day on the boat for the Skipper.

(annoyed at her inattention)

Lovey.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, I'm sorry, Thurston. Where were we? "Dreadful" or "wonderful"?

MR HOWELL

Well, it's dreadful if that boy has to work day and night. It's dreadful.

MRS HOWELL

Quite right, Thurston.

MR HOWELL

You know what would be wonderful? It'd be wonderful if you'd go down to that mine and help that boy dig.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, dear. We're back at "dreadful" again.

FLIP TO:

EXT. LAGOON - DAY

PAIR OF LEGS AND SHOES UNDER THE RAFT

BACK TO SCENE

Skipper supervises the work on the raft. Mr. Howell emerges from the jungle.

MR HOWELL

Oh, good morning, Captain. How's the work coming?

SKIPPER

The work is coming along fine, Mister Howell.

MR HOWELL

Oh.

SKIPPER

Something I can do for you?

MR HOWELL

Yes, I'd like a few words with Gilligan.

SKIPPER

Oh, make it very few, would you? He's got a lot of work to do.

Skipper turns and exits into the jungle.

MR HOWELL

Yes, yes, I understand. Thank you.

Mr. Howell crouches down by the raft. He taps on the legs he sees from under the raft.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Gilligan, Gilligan, my boy.

Gilligan's head emerges from under the raft, next to the pair of legs, as if Gilligan were bent into a pretzel.

GILLIGAN

Oh, hi, Mister Howell.

MR HOWELL

Gilligan, are -- are you all right?

GILLIGAN

Sure.

MR HOWELL

I know, but you look sort of strange.

GILLIGAN

Well, I haven't done this kind of work in along time and I'm a little bit out of shape.

MR HOWELL

I'll say you are.

GILLIGAN

I'm sorry about today, Mister Howell, but I couldn't say no to the Skipper.

Gilligan turns and sees an untied shoelace so he ties the lace.

MR HOWELL

Well, you will be able to make it tonight, won't you?

GILLIGAN

Oh, sure thing. I mean, as soon as the Skipper goes to sleep, I'll leave.

MR HOWELL

Yes, will you be able to do a lot of fine digging before dawn?

GILLIGAN

Okay. I'll see you tonight.

MR HOWELL

Gilligan, I'm worried about you.

GILLIGAN

Oh, don't worry, Mister Howell. I mean, I'm kind of in tight quarters here, but I can move around a lot.

Gilligan shifts around under the raft and the feet move around in unison.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

I'm okay. See?

MR HOWELL

Fantastic! Remind me when we get back to the States I want to talk to you about "The Ed Sullivan Show."

Mr. Howell turns and walks away, puzzled at Gilligan's contortion.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

The head and --

Gilligan crawls back under the raft. Professor emerges out from under the raft, revealing that it was his legs, not Gilligan's legs that Mr. Howell saw. Professor gets up on his knees.

PROFESSOR

What was that all about?

GILLIGAN

Oh, Mister Howell was gonna put me on television on "The Ed Sullivan Show."

PROFESSOR

Doing what?

GILLIGAN

I don't know. Maybe Mr. Sullivan's boat needs fixing.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. COMMUNITY HUT - ESTABLISHING SHOT - NIGHT

INT. COMMUNITY HUT - NIGHT

Skipper and Gilligan are in their respective bunks. Skipper taps Gilligan's back.

SKIPPER

Hey, Gilligan, we did a pretty good day's work, eh? Makes you feel real good, doesn't it?

GILLIGAN

Sure does.

SKIPPER

I want to tell you that Mother Nature there is a pretty great old gal. She lets you work all day long then all of a sudden,

(yawns)

she rings a bell and says: "You've had enough. It's time to sleep." Yup, Mother Nature's a great old -- gal.

The Skipper falls asleep in the hammock. He snores lightly. Gilligan falls asleep too. Mr. Howell sneaks in to the community hut. Mr. Howell taps Gilligan on the shoulder.

MR HOWELL

Hey, Gilligan.

(continues tapping)

Gilligan.

GILLIGAN

Huh?

MR HOWELL

Hey.

GILLIGAN

(sleepily)

Oh, yeah.

Mr. Howell spills Gilligan out of his upper bunk. Mr. Howell leaves the hut and Gilligan wearily follows him. Skipper continues to sleep.

FLIP TO:

INT. CAVE - NIGHT

Gilligan, adorned in a miner's helmet, complete with candle light and reflector, digs at the cave walls for gold. Mr. Howell measures the mined gold with a coconut scale.

MR HOWELL

There we are. Exactly 32 ounces of gold.

GILLIGAN

Mister Howell, are you sure that scale is right?

Mr. Howell picks up the counterweight, Mrs. Howell's engagement ring, from one side of the scale.

MR HOWELL

Oh, certainly. Missus Howell's engagement ring weighs exactly one pound. I'm using it as a counterweight.

GILLIGAN

Do you want me to dig anymore?

MR HOWELL

Certainly. It's only four a.m.

GILLIGAN

Oh, is that all? There's probably a lot more gold in here.

MR HOWELL

You can thank Mother Nature for that.

Gilligan moves from the cave wall over to Mr. Howell's scale.

GILLIGAN

You thank her, huh, Mister Howell? You and the Skipper know her a lot better than I do.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. OCEAN BEACH - ESTABLISHING SHOT - DAY

EXT. CAMP - DAY

The castaways sit at the dining table. Skipper stands to address them.

SKIPPER

Folks, if I might have your attention, I just want you to know that we're getting that raft ready as soon as possible.

MR HOWELL

Well, not so fast, Captain. I think you ought to make -- make sure it's safe first. Don't you?

MRS HOWELL

Quite right, Thurston. You all know the old saying, "A stitch in time..."

(looks to Mr. Howell for help)

Uh, "A stitch in time ..."

(pause)

Well, you all know the old saying. There's no point repeating it.

MARY ANN

How long do you think it'll take, Skipper?

SKIPPER

Well, don't ask me. Ask Gilligan.

Gilligan is fast asleep with his face in a coconut cup.

MR HOWELL

Oh, leave the poor boy alone. He's trying to drink some water.

SKIPPER

No, he isn't. He's asleep. Wake up, Gilligan!

Gilligan is startled awake.

GILLIGAN

(sleepily)

Skipper, it's your turn to get up first. I got up first yesterday. It's your turn.

Gilligan closes his eyes and leans over.

GINGER

Asleep again.

Gilligan puts his head down.

SKIPPER

Yes, I guess I'd better get him back to bed.

MR HOWELL

Never mind. We'll put him nighty-night. Come on, Lovey.

The Howells get up and go to Gilligan.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Lovey dear, you take the other arm.

MRS HOWELL

Well I will, just as soon as I can get this cup of guava jelly off his elbow.

Mrs. Howell removes the guava jelly cup from Gilligan's elbow. The Howells grasp Gilligan under his arms and drag him away from the table.

MR HOWELL

Nighty-night.

MRS HOWELL

Thurston's gonna give you his teddy bear.

MR HOWELL

That's right. Come on. Sandy man is gone. Night-night.

Professor gets up from the table. He's suspicious.

PROFESSOR

What do you suppose is the matter with Gilligan? I've never seen him so tired.

MARY ANN

What do you suppose is the matter with Mister Howell? I've never seen him so considerate.

GINGER

You know, they don't seem very anxious to get the raft fixed.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. OCEAN SUNSET - ESTABLISHING SHOT - NIGHT

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. COMMUNITY HUT - ESTABLISHING SHOT - NIGHT

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. COMMUNITY HUT - NIGHT

Gilligan is fast asleep in the upper bunk. Mr. Howell enters the community hut and taps Gilligan on the shoulder. Gilligan stirs.

MR HOWELL

Gilligan.

(shushes him)

Dig.

Mr. Howell rolls Gilligan out of the top bunk and escorts him out of the community hut.

SKIPPER

opens his eyes. He pretended to be asleep.

CUT TO:

EXT. COMMUNITY HUT - NIGHT

Mr. Howell guides Gilligan toward the path to the gold mine.

MR HOWELL

Come on, Gilligan, my boy. That's it. Up and at them. Off we go to the mine to dig. Shhh. Quiet. No, son. You'll be all right. Let's go. Down that way to the mine. There you go.

Mr. Howell moves so his back is toward the community hut door and muses on his gold mine riches. The Skipper exits the hut quietly and follows the path to the gold mine.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Ah, let me see. If he mined sixteen ingots tonight -- He's a willing boy. He's a strong back.

Ginger emerges from the community hut, quietly closes the door behind her, and follows the Skipper down the path to the gold mine.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

No labor problem there. Salary, let's see. Just cut him in.

Professor emerges from the community hut, quietly closes the door behind him, and follows Ginger down the path to the gold mine.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

The smelting costs are absolutely negligible, plus the shipping -- the Howell Enterprises should grow six billion.

Mary Ann emerges, glances in Mr. Howells direction and sees that his back is still turned toward the community hut. She quietly closes the door and follows Ginger down the path toward the gold mine.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Put that in Lovey's name in a dummy corporation I'll run. Ah, well.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

(yawning)

Oh, golly, my money's made me sleepy.

Mr. Howell turns toward the community hut door, opens it, and goes inside.

FLIP TO:

INT. CAVE - NIGHT

Gilligan picks at the mine walls, breaking off gold nuggets.

EXT. CAVE EDGE - NIGHT

The Skipper walks precariously near the edge of the gold mine entrance, looks down, gets down on his hands and knees. He inches closer to take a look and then loses his balance and falls into the cave.

INT. CAVE - NIGHT

The Skipper tumbles onto the floor. Gilligan stops picking, turns, and greets the Skipper.

GILLIGAN

Hi, Skipper. Glad you dropped in.

SKIPPER

Gilligan. Ooh.

The Skipper reaches under himself and reveals Mrs. Howell's engagement ring.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

What is that?

GILLIGAN

A one-pound diamond ring.

Skipper gets up to his feet.

SKIPPER

So that's what you've been up to. You've got a diamond mine.

GILLIGAN

No, that belongs to Missus Howell.

SKIPPER

What are you doing down here?

GILLIGAN

Well, I --

SKIPPER

What's all this stuff all over the walls?

GILLIGAN

Gold.

The Skipper is amazed.

SKIPPER

Gold?

EXT. CAVE EDGE - NIGHT

Professor, Mary Ann, and Ginger look down into the cave from above.

PROFESSOR

Gold?

MARY ANN/GINGER

Gold?

INT. CAVE - NIGHT

Gilligan realizes he gave away the secret of the gold mine.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO

FADE IN:

EXT. OCEAN BEACH - ESTABLISHING SHOT

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. LAGOON - DAY

The Skipper and Professor sit on the life raft. Ginger and Mary Ann perch on an uprooted tree nearby. They discuss Mr. Howell's claim on the gold mine.

SKIPPER

And that's the story, folks. I was up till 5:30 this morning with Mister Howell and he wouldn't give an inch. So, we might just as well finish working on the raft.

PROFESSOR

Gilligan's dug a lot of gold out of that mine. Doesn't he get any of it?

SKIPPER

No, Professor, he was working on a straight hourly apprentice rate.

GINGER

I don't think that's fair. Do you, Mary Ann?

MARY ANN

I certainly do not. Well, couldn't we go to Missus Howell?

SKIPPER

That wouldn't do any good, either, Mary Ann. She's working by the hour, too.

GINGER

I hate to say this, Skipper, but last night when I was looking down the mine at all that gold -- something happened to me.

MARY ANN

Well, Ginger, if you can admit it, so can I. I've got gold fever.

SKIPPER

Professor?

PROFESSOR

Why not? Schoolteachers are human.

SKIPPER

It's amazing. We've all been bitten by the same bug at the same time.

MARY ANN

Oh, gee, I hope it isn't catchy. I'd hate to see poor Gilligan come down with it.

Gilligan walks up to them.

SKIPPER

It's a cinch he's gonna catch it sooner or later.

MARY ANN

Don't say that, Skipper.

Gilligan joins them, but is somewhat panicked over what he's overhead.

GILLIGAN

Don't say what? What have I got? What have I got?

SKIPPER

Now, calm down, Gilligan.

GILLIGAN

Skipper, you've got to tell me the truth. What have I got? I know there's no doctor or hospital on this island. I want to know the truth. What have I got?

SKIPPER

All I said, Gilligan, is that you will probably get what we've already got.

GILLIGAN

Oh, no. Oh, no, no! What's everybody got?

SKIPPER

Gold fever, Gilligan.

GILLIGAN

That's what Mister Howell said that would happen.

SKIPPER

Oh, never mind all that now, Gilligan. I sent you over to Mister Howell with a final plea, in hopes that he might share his gold with us.

GILLIGAN

Right, Skipper. Like I told him, "All for one and one for all."

SKIPPER

And what was his answer?

Gilligan reaches into his back pants pocket.

GILLIGAN

He sent me back with this letter.

Gilligan unfolds the letter.

SKIPPER

Well, read the letter aloud. Everybody is concerned with it, Gilligan.

GILLIGAN

You want me to read the whole letter?

SKIPPER

The whole letter. What is his answer?

GILLIGAN

(clears throat)

"No."

PROFESSOR

Well, he certainly writes a nice letter.

SKIPPER

Well, I guess it's hopeless. He turned me down, now he's turned Gilligan down. We've tried every approach.

GINGER

(sultry)

Not every approach, Skipper.

Mary Ann looks at Ginger.

FLIP TO:

EXT. JUNGLE PATH - DAY

Mr. Howell walks down the jungle path when he hears a bird call-like whistle. Ginger's hand emerges from behind a tree. Her index finger beckons him to come to her in a come-hither motion. Mr. Howell points at himself to be sure he's the one being beckoned. He smiles. Ginger comes out from behind the tree.

GINGER

(sultry)

Hello, Mister Howell.

MR HOWELL

Yes, yes, Miss Grant.

GINGER

(sultry)

I was just wondering --

MR HOWELL

Everyone's been wondering, and the answer is "no."

GINGER

No?

MR HOWELL

That's right. A fourteen karat "no."

Mr. Howell turns to leave, but Ginger grasps his arm.

GINGER

But, Mister Howell, I just wanted to tell you something. Mister Howell, I don't think the others have been very fair to you about your gold mine.

MR HOWELL

(incredulous)

You don't?

GINGER

No, Mister Howell. I don't like the way they've been acting at all.

MR HOWELL

Heavens to Fort Knox, neither do I.

GINGER

I think --

(points to herself)

I think that they've been making you feel guilty about digging your gold mine.

MR HOWELL

Well, I've been digging so fast, I haven't had a chance to feel guilty.

GINGER

Mister Howell, I think they're very greedy -- depriving you of the right to be generous -- and to be the wonderful man that I know you are.

MR HOWELL

Why?

GINGER

Mister Howell, Mister Howell, I know you. I know that deep down in your soul you're a wonderful, generous man -- and you wanted to share your gold with all of us.

Ginger puts her hand on Mr. Howell's shoulder.

MR HOWELL

Yes, I did -- but, thank goodness, I fought off that nasty impulse.

(insistently)

The answer is still "no."

Ginger can't believe that her persuasion was ineffective.

GINGER

No?

INT. CAVE - NIGHT

The Skipper, Ginger, Professor, Mary Ann, and Gilligan each hold a mining tool.

SKIPPER

No doubt about it. The only way we're going to get any gold for ourselves is to stake out a claim and start digging.

PROFESSOR/MARY ANN/GINGER/GILLIGAN

Yeah!

The castaways scramble to gain an advantage and exit haphazardly.

FLIP TO:

INT. CAVE - NIGHT

The castaways work the gold mine. Ginger picks off a bit of rock, examines it for gold, and discards it. The Skipper examines the wall in his claim and finds there is no obvious gold there. Professor swings his implement at the wall and wipes his face with his sleeve. Mary Ann swings her pick at the rock wall, glances at the pick, and continues to swing the pick at the cave wall. Gilligan swings his pick sideways and knocks over the candle that illuminates his claim in the cave, plunging him into darkness.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. CAMP - NIGHT

Ginger and Mary Ann sit at the dining table, surrounded by tropical island foods.

GINGER

Water, please.

Mary Ann clumsily passes the water and spills it on the table.

GINGER (cont'd)

Do you have to spill everything all over the table?

MARY ANN

Do you have to yell at the table?

Professor emerges from the jungle. He coughs and sits down next to Mary Ann.

MARY ANN (cont'd)

Do you have to sing at the table?

PROFESSOR

I wasn't singing. I was coughing.

GINGER

Well, do you have to cough at the table?

PROFESSOR

No gold for you, either, huh?

GINGER

Not a nugget.

Skipper and Gilligan emerge from the jungle and join the others at the dining table.

SKIPPER

Hi. I broke my back and didn't get a nugget, either.

Skipper and Gilligan sit at the far end of the dining table.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Anyone want to work on the raft tonight?

PROFESSOR

Absolutely, yes.

MARY ANN

Good idea, Skipper.

Mr. and Mrs. Howell emerge from the jungle and join the others at the table.

MR HOWELL

I'm, uh, sorry we're late, folks, but we just struck a rich vein and Lovey was afraid it might bleed all over the floor.

MRS HOWELL

Thurston can't stand a messy mine. He always says, "A mine that's lumpy makes you grumpy."

MR HOWELL

An ode to the mother lode. Any luck? Well, that's too bad.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Well, don't let your bad luck ruin our good dinner, right, Lovey dear?

MRS HOWELL

Right, darling. You've no idea how filling fifty bags of gold gives you an appetite.

SKIPPER

Oh, come on, let's go down and take a look at the raft, huh?

Skipper and Gilligan get up from the table.

PROFESSOR

Yes, I'm not very hungry anyway.

Professor, Mary Ann, and Ginger get up from the table and the five of them leave. As Skipper and Gilligan pass the Howells, Mr. Howell catches the Skipper's attention.

MR HOWELL

Say, uh, Captain, how's it coming? Any progress?

SKIPPER

Not since I've been in the mining business, Mister Howell. I'm gonna turn in my pick and shovel and start working on that raft in the morning.

MR HOWELL

Well, as long as you're turning in your mining tools, perhaps Missus Howell and I could use them.

SKIPPER

Howell, well I'm sorry--

MR HOWELL

When I say "use," of course I mean on a rental basis.

SKIPPER

Say, well, if I rent them to you maybe I can do something. That'd work out just fine.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. CAVE - DAY

Mr. Howell sits on a small chair in front of a small table. The gold scale sits on the table. Small bags of gold sit on the table.

EXT. CAVE EDGE - DAY

Skipper shouts down to Mr. Howell. A bamboo ladder reaches up to the cave edge.

SKIPPER

Anybody home?

INT. CAVE - DAY

Mr. Howell looks up.

MR HOWELL

Who's calling?

EXT. CAVE EDGE - DAY

Gilligan CLANGS two shovels together.

GILLIGAN

"Gilligan's Rent-a-Pick" calling.

INT. CAVE - DAY

MR HOWELL

Yes, yes, gentlemen. Come in.

EXT. CAVE EDGE - DAY

Gilligan and Skipper climb down the bamboo ladder. They carry a variety of mining instruments.

SKIPPER

Door-to-cave service.

GILLIGAN

Yeah, boy, have we got some bargains for you!

INT. CAVE - DAY

Mr. Howell looks up from his gold scale.

MR HOWELL

I just love bargains. Well, gentlemen, this is an unexpected pleasure, I must say.

GILLIGAN

All part of our service, Mister Howell.

MRS HOWELL

Oh Lovey, come see what Daddy has bought for you.

SKIPPER

Now, Mister Howell, we have six pieces here. If you buy all six, we'll give you a very special price.

GILLIGAN

We hate to break up a set.

Mrs. Howell enters. She wears the miner's hat that Gilligan wore earlier.

MRS HOWELL

Good morning, Gilligan. How are you, Skipper? Oh, Thurston Howell the Third, are all these beautiful things for me?

Gilligan hands his tools to Mrs. Howell. Gilligan takes Skipper's tools and also hands them to Mrs. Howell.

MR HOWELL

Nothing finer for the dainty miner.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, darling, you're so extravagant.

MR HOWELL

Yes, my dear. I'll see you later at the Papaya.

MRS HOWELL

I can't wait to use them. Thank you, darling.

Mrs. Howell carries the tools into the mine. Mr. Howell opens his checkbook and readies himself to write out a check.

MR HOWELL

Now, Gentlemen, what is the name of your company?

SKIPPER

Oh, no checks, please, Mister Howell.

MR HOWELL

(astonished)

No checks?

GILLIGAN

No banks.

SKIPPER

Money will do just fine.

MR HOWELL

Well, I haven't used money in the past twenty five years.

Skipper picks up a small bag of gold from Mr. Howell's table.

SKIPPER

Might I suggest one of these bags?

MR HOWELL

One of those bags is worth two hundred dollars.

Gilligan picks up another small bag of gold.

GILLIGAN

Might I suggest two of these bags?

MR HOWELL

But --

FLIP TO:

EXT. CAMP - NIGHT

Mr. and Mrs. Howell sit at the dining table. Ginger and Mary Ann stand nearby. Ginger holds a pencil and paper as if she was a waitress taking their order.

MR HOWELL

And so the elephant said, "Let go of my trunk."

MRS HOWELL

Oh, Ginger, my compliments to the chef. That was a superb seafood salad.

GINGER

Thank you.

MARY ANN

I hope the lobster wasn't too rich for you.

MR HOWELL

Well, if he was, he didn't get a chance to mention it.

Ginger writes on the paper.

MRS HOWELL

Thurston, you know I think it's rude to talk about money at the table -- in front of a strange lobster.

GINGER

Will that be all, sir?

MR HOWELL

Yes, that will be all.

Ginger hands the paper to Mr. Howell.

GINGER

Here you are, sir.

MR HOWELL

What's this?

MARY ANN

That's the dinner check.

MR HOWELL

Seven hundred and forty dollars?

MRS HOWELL

Seafood salad a hundred and seventy five dollars?

MR HOWELL

Lobster two hundred?

MARY ANN

Bread fruit muffins, one twenty-five. Side order of guava jelly, fifty, a --

MR HOWELL

So that's your little game, huh? First the Skipper, then Gilligan. You're gonna charge us for our meals, huh? Well!

MRS HOWELL

That's a fine kettle of fish!

GINGER

Thanks for reminding me, Missus Howell.

Ginger grabs the paper back from Mr. Howell.

MRS HOWELL

For what?

GINGER

One kettle of fish, three hundred dollars.

Ginger writes a revised value on the paper.

FLIP TO:

INT. COMMUNITY HUT - NIGHT

Mr. and Mrs. Howell stand in front of Professor. Several bundles of candles sit on the table. Professor pours wax from a pan into candle molds.

MR HOWELL

And that is positively my last offer.

PROFESSOR

Well, if six hundred is all you can spend, take only three candles.

MR HOWELL

What?

PROFESSOR

You can't beat that price anyplace on the island.

MRS HOWELL

Please, Thurston, you can't see a thing down in that mine.

MR HOWELL

All right. I'll take six candles. Give the man twelve hundred dollars.

Mrs. Howell hands Professor three large bags of gold. Professor holds up a bundle of candles.

PROFESSOR

Fifty dollars more, Mister Howell, and I can gift-wrap these for you.

Mr. Howell takes the bundle of candles from Professor.

MR HOWELL

No, twelve hundred dollars for the six of them. That's my last offer.

PROFESSOR

Well, you're the man with the gold mine.

(pause)

Oh, by the way, as long as you're here, Mister Howell, would you like to look at some wicks?

Professor holds up an assortment of wicks.

MR HOWELL

You mean there aren't any wicks in these candles?

PROFESSOR

Not for this kind of money.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. OCEAN BEACH - ESTABLISHING SHOT - DAY

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. LAGOON - DAY

Skipper and Gilligan load provisions onto the life raft. The other castaways wait on the beach near the uprooted tree.

SKIPPER

That raft is in perfect shape. We can float for days until we're spotted by a ship or plane.

MR HOWELL

I hope that provisions have been made for my bag of gold aboard your raft.

SKIPPER

Nothing doing. The Professor here knows exactly how much weight that raft will support.

PROFESSOR

That's right. With our combined weight and the weight of the provisions, we can't take a chance. Gold is very heavy.

GINGER

My bag isn't heavy.

Ginger unsuccessfully tries to lift her bag of gold.

MARY ANN

Mine's as light as a feather.

Mary Ann also tries to lift her bag of gold.

MRS HOWELL

Can't I take a teensy-weensy little bag of gold?

SKIPPER

How teensy-weensy a bag?

Mrs. Howell lifts a large bag of gold and shows it to Skipper.

MRS HOWELL

This teensy-weensy?

SKIPPER

No!

Mrs. Howell drops her bag of gold, which lands on Mr. Howell's foot.

MR HOWELL

(in pain)

Oh!

SKIPPER

There will be no gold aboard the raft, and that goes for you, too, Gilligan.

GILLIGAN

Me? I don't have any gold.

SKIPPER

You had three thousand dollars' worth last night.

GILLIGAN

I know. I never should have ordered that coconut cream pie.

FLIP TO:

EXT. LAGOON BEACH - DAY - LATER

The raft floats at the edge of the lagoon. Provisions have been loaded onto it. Skipper waves to the castaways to begin boarding the raft.

SKIPPER

All right, everybody, get on board.

Mr. Howell approaches with his bamboo golf clubs.

MR HOWELL

I want to take these golf sticks back to show the boys at the club. A million laughs.

Mr. Howell steps onto the raft. Mrs. Howell approaches with a bamboo handbag. Inside the handbag is a cloth bag that obscures the contents within.

SKIPPER

Missus Howell.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, Captain, that's all right. I made this handbag while I was here and I think it's so quaint, I want to take it home to show everybody.

Mrs. Howell steps onto the raft.

SKIPPER

Why, certainly. Watch your step now.

Mary Ann approaches with a large crate. Mrs. Howell finds a spot to sit on the raft.

MR HOWELL

(to Mrs. Howell)

Watch it there, dear.

MARY ANN

This is my homemade guava jelly. Can't have too much of this around.

Skipper helps Mary Ann step onto the raft. Ginger approaches carrying a cardboard box that once contained jars of chunky apples and apricots.

SKIPPER

That's right, Mary Ann. Watch your step.

Ginger stops to explain her contraband.

GINGER

I've got a complete diary of every day we spent here, Skipper. Should make a great movie, huh?

SKIPPER

I should say so.

Skipper helps Ginger onto the raft. Professor approaches with a burlap bag wrapped with twine.

PROFESSOR

These botanical specimens should be of special interest back at the school.

Professor steps onto the raft, but loses his balance briefly.

SKIPPER

Don't fall over there, Professor.

Skipper turns to Gilligan.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

All right, Gilligan! Cast off!

GILLIGAN

I sure hope this floats. You how deep the lagoon is.

Gilligan points to the deep water in the lagoon.

SKIPPER

I know how deep the lagoon is. Now, cast off.

Skipper gets onto the raft. Gilligan pushes the raft to dislodge it from shore and steps onto the raft himself.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Everybody get an oar.

MR HOWELL

Bye island!

Professor uses an oar to push the raft further away from shore.

SKIPPER

Here we go, folks, headed for the shipping lanes and rescue!

Mrs. Howell uses an oar to wave "good-bye" to the island. Mr. Howell waves at the island.

MR HOWELL

Yeah, au revoir island! Goodbye, island. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Yeah, goodbye.

Gilligan and Mary Ann also have oars and they row with the others in an uncoordinated effort.

SKIPPER

Row!

MR HOWELL

Stroke!

SKIPPER

Row, Missus Howell.

The raft starts sinking from the middle.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Gilligan, hold your course.

MRS HOWELL

I think we're sinking.

The castaways stop rowing and lose their oars in the water.

MR HOWELL

No, preposterous! We couldn't have two disasters under the same Captain. It's ridiculous. Skipper, what will we do?

PROFESSOR

It's all right.

MR HOWELL

What'll we do?

Mary Ann falls off the raft into the lagoon. Ginger grabs Professor for support.

SKIPPER

Abandon ship!

MR HOWELL

Women and luggage first.

MRS HOWELL

My hat.

Ginger holds on tightly to Professor.

GINGER

We're drowning. Oh, I can't swim.

Professor tumbles backward out of the raft into the lagoon and since she won't let go, pulls Ginger with him.

MR HOWELL

Women and luggage first! Women and luggage first! Ah! Lovey!

Skipper and Gilligan stand up.

GILLIGAN

Skipper, Skipper. Are you or aren't you gonna go down with the ship?

SKIPPER

I hope not. But if I go, you'll go with me --

Skipper falls over backward and pulls Gilligan into the lagoon with him. They plunge into the water.

MRS. HOWELL'S HANDBAG

sinks rapidly.

SKIPPER (O.S.)

Gilligan!

MR. HOWELL'S GOLF CLUBS

sink rapidly.

MR HOWELL

Get my golf clubs!

MARY ANN'S HOMEMADE GUAVA JELLY CRATE

sinks.

BACK TO SCENE

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Where are you, my darling?

The raft is nearly completely submerged. The castaways all sink into the lagoon with it.

FLIP TO:

EXT. LAGOON - DAY - LATER

The castaways swim to the lagoon shore. They flop onto the sand.

GILLIGAN

Hey, Skipper, it sank anyway, even without the gold.

SKIPPER

I'm afraid this is all my fault, folks. I didn't think one bag of gold would sink us.

MRS HOWELL

Two bags.

MR HOWELL

Three bags.

GINGER

Four bags.

PROFESSOR

Five bags.

MARY ANN

Six bags?

GILLIGAN

Huh, that's a switch. Usually I'm the one left holding the bag.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT TWO

TAG

FADE IN:

EXT. OCEAN SUNSET - ESTABLISHING SHOT - SUNSET

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. CAMPFIRE - NIGHT

The castaways huddle around a campfire. Their clothes are wet. They use the fire's heat to dry their clothes and keep warm.

PROFESSOR

Well, I guess we've all learned a bitter lesson.

SKIPPER

You're so right, Professor. We've lost all our gold and we ruined our life raft, all because we were so greedy.

GINGER

I'll never be greedy again.

MARY ANN

Neither will I.

MRS HOWELL

Neither will I.

Mrs. Howell nudges Mr. Howell.

MRS HOWELL (cont'd)

Thurston?

MR HOWELL

You people are always taking the fun out of life.

Gilligan eats an oyster and bites down on something.

GILLIGAN

Ow.

Gilligan reveals a pearl and holds it up for the others to see.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Look what I found in this oyster.

GINGER

It's a pearl.

Mr. Howell takes a magnifying loupe out of his pocket and quickly examines Gilligan's pearl.

MR HOWELL

Why, it's a perfect pearl. Where'd you find that oyster?

GILLIGAN

Over in the cove. There's hundreds of them.

SKIPPER

Hundreds of them?

Gilligan remains seated while the other castaways leave the campfire and rush off to the cove.

GILLIGAN

(shouting)

Or maybe thousands of them!

Gilligan counts the pearls as he drops them from one hand to the other.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

(sotto)

Or maybe only one, two, three, four of them.

Gilligan excitedly rubs his hands together.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. GILLIGAN'S ISLAND - ESTABLISHING SHOT - DAY

FADE OUT.

THE END