GILLIGAN'S ISLAND "Wrong Way Feldman" by Fred Freeman And Lawrence J. Cohen October 24, 1964 TEASER FADE IN STOCK SHOT - OCEAN VIEW THROUGH PALM TREES - OVERLAY CREDITS CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE - DAY Gilligan is seen walking through the jungle as he carries a bamboo pole with bananas and pineapples attached to the ends. Not paying much attention he decides to stop and take a drink from a coconut he's been carrying in his hand. While drinking, he looks over and sees what appears to be an old airplane in the jungle. He slowly looks away and then does a double take. He looks at the coconut, thinking it's making him see things and then drops it. He runs over to where the airplane is and gives it several raps on the engine cowling to see if it's real. He's absolutely beside himself and can hardly believe what he's seeing. GILLIGAN Oh it's real! Oh! Oh! Oh it's got an engine, and wheels, and wings, and a propeller, and oh oh I gotta tell somebody! Oh! Oh boy! Oh boy! He gives the plane raps several more times just to make sure it's real. GILLIGAN (Frantically) Stay right here! Don't go away! Oh boy! Oh Boy! Oh boy! Gilligan takes off at full speed through the jungle as we… FADE OUT ACT ONE FADE IN EXT - JUNGLE CLEARING - DAY - Gilligan, skipper, Mary Ann, Ginger and the professor are all pulling the remaining overgrowth and foliage off the plane. SKIPPER How we doing professor!? How we doing!? PROFESSOR Well it's…it's remarkable! SKIPPER & GILLIGAN Yeah yeah yeah! PROFESSOR Well considering the fact that this plane must have landed here twenty five or thirty years ago, it's remarkable! SKIPPER Bu…But can we get it off the ground!? PROFESSOR Well I…I don't know I'm not sure. GILLIGAN Awe it's too bad I couldn't find a brand new plane that could fly. MARY ANN With a great big powerful jet engine. GINGER Yeah, and great big powerful jet pilot! PROFESSOR You know something? I believe this engine can be repaired if I could fix the fuel line. GILLIGAN Then we're saved! We can fly it outta here! PROFESSOR There's only one problem Gilligan. None of us knows how to fly! GILLIGAN Ah we could learn! Because the skipper was on an aircraft carrier! SKIPPER Oh a lot of good that'll do us Gilligan I was a cook! GINGER My room mate was a stewardess! MARY ANN I knew a crop duster once in Kansas! GILLIGAN You see with all that experience we can do it! SKIPPER Gilligan we haven't got enough experience to fly a kite! PROFESSOR I'm afraid the skippers right, we could never do it. We'd be better off salvaging the parts of the plane. GINGER Oh well, it was a peachy idea while it lasted. See ya. MARY ANN Lets go fix dinner. Cheer up Gilligan. Mary Ann and Ginger leave the site of the plane and head back to the clearing. GILLIGAN Professor, don't you think it's worth a chance? PROFESSOR And that's all you'd get Gilligan, one chance. SKIPPER Professor we got one chance we've got to take it! We've GOT to take it! Now come on I'll clean off the tail gear, Gilligan you get that cockpit cleaned out. PROFESSOR Alright I'll have a look at this instrument panel. GILLIGAN Instru what!? PROFESSOR The instrument panel. GILLIGAN Oh. CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE - DAY Mr. And Mrs. Howell are seen making their way through the jungle searching for the others. MRS HOWELL Thruston, have you any idea where we are? MR HOWELL Not the faintest! Mr. Howell starts making Howling noises to attract attention. MR HOWELL Oowwwww! Oowwww! Oowwww! CUT TO: PREVIOUS SHOT Gilligan hears Mr. Howell and replys. GILLIGAN Over here! CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE - DAY Mr. And Mrs. Howell hear Gilligan and start to make their way to the airplane clearing. MR HOWELL Oh yes. I tell you this is absolutely… MRS HOWELL Over there! Over here, over there. MR HOWELL Over there yes ,well I heard…I heard the sound. Mr. And Mrs. Howell are having trouble making their way through the jungle foliage. MRS HOWELL Oh Thurston, this is ghastly! MR HOWELL Next time well take a live in guide! I've never… CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE CLEARING - DAY As Mr. And Mrs. make their way to the clearing, the others are continuing to clean off the airplane. PROFESSOR Say, this instrument panel is in pretty good shape! SKIPPER Good! Then our chances are better huh? Mr. And Mrs. Howell finally arrive at the plane. MRS HOWELL Oh Thurston! Gilligan was absolutely right! It IS an airplane! Mr. Howell is not impressed at what he sees. MR HOWELL Obviously non scheduled, lets go Lovey. Gilligan has finished cleaning off the side of the airplane and reveals some writing. GILLIGAN Hey hey look at this! The spirit of the Bronx! MR HOWELL The spirit of the Bronx. PROFESSOR The spirit of the Bronx! Say, that was Wrong Way Feldman's plane! SKIPPER That's right! The one that he used on his round the world trip! MR HOWELL Looks more, HALF way around the world! Wrong Way Feldman! So that's what happened to him. MRS HOWELL (dreamily) It seems like yesterday. And it was really way back in the thirties! GILLIGAN I read all about him! He was a great pilot! MR HOWELL Not as far as Howell aircraft was concerned, we invested money in his first plane. MRS HOWELL Yes that was the one that went non stop from ah…Chicago to New Orleans. SKIPPER That was pretty good for those days! MR HOWELL He was suppose to go to Minneapolis! Fool flew the wrong way. GILLIGAN I guess that's how he got his nick name huh? MR HOWELL No he got that during world war one, he bombed his own airfield. Pow! PROFESSOR Regardless he still did a lot for aviation. SKIPPER And at least he was a pilot! For my money I wish he was here right now! MRS HOWELL (dreamily) Oh, I can still remember him from the news reels. That jet black hair, and that slim waist and that flying suit. And that wonderful white scarf, flying in the wind. Awe poor Wrong Way. I wonder if there's a chance he could've survived. MR HOWELL On the contrary. Wrong Way Feldman has gone to the great hanger in the sky. (pause) Knowing Wrong Way, it's hard to tell which way he went! Suddenly out of no where. WRONG WAY I'll tell ya where I went! A scruffy bearded man in tattered flying clothes, parts some nearby bushes and emerges into the clearing where the others are. WRONG WAY I'm right here! Mrs. Howell, completely startled lets out a yelp. MR HOWELL I don't believe it! SKIPPER Wrong Way! Your alive!? WRONG WAY Surprised huh? SKIPPER Well…but…how did you manage all these years!? PROFESSOR Are you…are you really Wrong Way Feldman!? WRONG WAY Who else could I be? I been alone on this island all these years. And then I saw this young fella, nosin around my plane. GILLIGAN Oh I'm Gilligan Mr. Feldman sir! WRONG WAY (affectionately) You, may call me Wrong Way. GILLIGAN Thank you…ah thank you ah this is Mrs. Howell… Wrong Way immediately sets his gaze on Mrs. Howell and approaches her. GILLIGAN …and the skipper, and the professor… WRONG WAY Oh madam you are beautiful! Wrong Way kisses the gloved hand of Mrs. Howell. Mr. Howell who is standing by, hits Wrong Way's hand with a stick. GILLIGAN …and that's Mr. Howell. WRONG WAY Certainly it would be. MR HOWELL (jealously) Come along Lovey! MRS HOWELL You see, Thurston's just a little bit jealous. MR HOWELL No I'm not jealous, I just don't want him slobbering over those expensive gloves! Come along! Mr. Howell takes Mrs. Howell by the arm and leads her away. GILLIGAN Stranded on the same island with Wrong Way Feldman! Oh we sure are lucky! WRONG WAY Oh tha…tha…thank you ah Gilligan? SKIPPER Your an amazing man! How did you manage to survive all these years!? WRONG WAY Physical fitness, iron will, perseverance and sixty four bottles of scotch. PROFESSOR Scotch!? Where did you get the scotch!? WRONG WAY In with my provisions. You know I had every thing, ah food, gasoline, magazines… SKIPPER Gasoli…gasoline!? You had gasoline!? WRONG WAY Certainly. SKIPPER Well Why didn't you fly out of here!? WRONG WAY With that engine!? After the first three years I give up trying to fix it, ah it's hopeless! PROFESSOR Well wait a minute, maybe it isn't! With the spare parts I salvaged from the boat I might be able to fix it! WRONG WAY You can fix a Krieder Rightner KR21!? PROFESSOR Well I'll certainly give it a try! WRONG WAY That's the spirit!! You…you fix her up I'll fly her right out! GILLIGAN Mr. Wrong Way? You're the best thing that ever happened to us! WRONG WAY Oh just a minute now tha…tha.there's much work to be done! SKIPPER That's right men we've got much work to do! Wrong Way, the supply huts this way. Skipper point in the direction of the supply hut and as soon as they start to leave the clearing, Wrong Way turns the wrong way and starts to walk in the opposite direction. After a few steps he realizes his mistake and turns around and follow the Skipper, Gilligan and the professor out of the clearing. FADE TO: EXT - JUNGLE CLEARING - DAY - LATER The Skipper and Professor are busy working on the airplane trying to make if flight worthy. SKIPPER Professor this bolts the wrong size see if there's some others in the tool box will ya? PROFESSOR Alright skip. We pan over to see Wrong Way relaxing. Gilligan is sitting next to Wrong Way having a conversation as Wrong Way sips on something. PAN OVER: CLOSE SHOT - WRONG WAY/GILLIGAN WRONG WAY Possibly this Papaya punch is partly past it's prime. (pause) Well it's hard to believe, planes without propellers, six hundred miles an hour! GILLIGAN And some go even faster. WRONG WAY Yes, I certainly must have missed a lot. New planes, new inventions, n…no more rumble seats, n…no more Liberty magazine. GILLIGAN And you missed the second world war! WRONG WAY The SECOND world war! So that's what that was! I always wondered what that noise was! GILLIGAN Do you remember the first world war? WRONG WAY Do ya…do I reme…I was an ACE my boy an ACE! Oh that was a big one, no picnic up there! Dodgin them bullets, divin in and out in my Bristol Scout. Oh and I met some great pilots in them days. You should have seen my wing man Buckey Lorenzo. GILLIGAN He was good huh? WRONG WAY Good!? Th…they still talk about one flight he made! He downed three German planes an…and strafed a railroad yard. GILLIGAN Sure is a great story! He must have been decorated! WRONG WAY No he was Court Marshaled. GILLIGAN Why? WRONG WAY Cause it was three years after the war was over. Poor Buckey, certainly upset the President. CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE CLEARING - DAY SKIPPER It's no good professor, these bolts just aren't usable. PROFESSOR I've got an idea. The professor walks over to Wrong Way still relaxing. PROFESSOR I got some rusty bolts here. You got any penetrating oil Wrong Way? WRONG WAY Penetrating oil. Oh certainly, with my provisions. PROFESSOR Good, lets go get it. With luck we should be through here in a couple of hours. Wrong Way gets up and starts to walk with the professor. Gilligan is following right behind them. WRONG WAY Oh luck, that's something everybody can use one time or another. I remember once that three Hinies come at me out of the sun… Wrong Way continues to tell his tale to the professor as they walk off. SKIPPER Gilligan! Would you mind coming here a moment? Gilligan was trying to listen to Wrong Way's story. He'd rather listen then work but stops and makes his way over to the airplane. GILLIGAN Hey skipper? Can I go with Wrong Way? SKIPPER Don't you want to help me little buddy? GILLIGAN Oh yes sir. SKIPPER Thanks a lot Gilligan, now would you mind checking that rear wheel I think it's loose. GILLIGAN Yes sir. SKIPPER I'll lift the tail. Gilligan disappears behind the plane as the skipper with great effort, lifts the tail of the plane. We cut to below the plane as Gilligan is seen twisting the tail wheel back and forth. SKIPPER Well!? GILLIGAN Yeah it's a little loose. SKIPPER How Loose!? Gilligan twists some more and the wheel comes off the plane. Gilligan, with tail wheel in hand pops up behind the skipper to show him. GILLIGAN This loose! SKIPPER (VERY STRAINED) Gilligan, get something to put under the tail of the plane so we can put the wheel back on!!! GILLIGAN I'll get that rock over there! Gilligan points to a huge boulder behind him and sets out to lift it. He's trying very hard to move the boulder, but it doesn't budge. The skipper sees how futile his efforts are and becomes agitated. GILLIGAN I can't move it skipper! SKIPPER (STRAINED) Would you like me to help you Gilligan!? GILLIGAN Yeah that's a good idea! The skipper has had enough. SKIPPER (VERY STRAINED) Oh GILLIGAN!! Hurry up it's slipping!! The skipper is losing his grip on the plane as it slowly starts to drop. SKIPPER (STRAINED) It's beginning to sli… Gilligan is trying to help the skipper keep the plane up, but his efforts are unrewarding. SKIPPER (STRAINED) Put it down now Gilligan! The plane is slowly lowered with Gilligans help. GILLIGAN It's resting on the ground. SKIPPER (IN PAIN) Gilligan you think it's on the ground? It's on my FOOT!! Gilligan helps the skipper raise up the tail just enough for the skipper move his foot. The skipper removes his foot and looks relieved, but Gilligan is still trying to hold up the tail. The skipper has let go of the tail and now Gilligan is trying to keep it up. GILLIGAN Skipper! Skipper!! SKIPPER!!! The skipper realizes Gilligan is in trouble and quickly helps lower the tail to the ground. Once on the ground, Gilligan and the skipper look totally exhausted but relieved. FADE TO: STOCK SHOT OF OCEAN/BEACH WITH PALM TREES. FADE TO: EXT - WRONG WAY'S HUT CLEARING - NIGHT FADE TO: INT - WRONG WAY'S HUT - NIGHT Wrong Way is seen sleeping in a hammock snoring away as Ginger, who has made her way into the hut, quietly approaches the sleeping Wrong Way. GINGER (WHISPERING) Wrong Way. Wrong Way continues to sleep. GINGER (WHISPERING) Wrong Way. Again no response, so Ginger gives him a little nudge. Wrong Way awakens slightly but doesn't respond. GINGER (WHISPERING) Wrong Way. Is there room for me? Wrong Way still half asleep responds. WRONG WAY (SLEEPILY) No, don't you have a hammock of your own? GINGER Wrong Way! I meant on the plane! Can you take me with you on the plane? WRONG WAY No it's a one seater. GINGER Well, I'll sit on your lap. WRONG WAY I won't be able to see where I'm goin. GINGER Well you can sit on my lap. WRONG WAY Awe my feet won't touch the pedals! GINGER Oh please Wrong Way, I've just got to get back to Hollywood. If I don't get back to Hollywood soon, my career will be ruined. Please Wrong Way. I can promise you glamorous evenings. Moon lit nights. Just you and me. Wrong Way hasn't heard a word as he starts snoring again, fast asleep. GINGER Think it over Wrong Way. Ginger gives him a little kiss before we… FLIP TO: SAME LOCATION - LATER Mr. Howell quietly enters the hut and makes his way towards Wrong Way. As usual, Mr. Howell is carrying his teddy bear. MR HOWELL (QUIETLY) Wrong Way! WRONG WAY Forget the moon lit nights you ain't goin with me. MR HOWELL Moon lit nights!? I'm here to make you a business proposition. Look, you take me with you on the plane and I'll make you vice president of Howell Aircraft corporation. You'll be on the big board and… Wrong Way doesn't respond. MR HOWELL I'll make you president with stock options! Still no response MR HOWELL Chairman of the board with fringe benefits! Again, nothing. MR HOWELL Wrong Way I've got to get off this island, if I don't the Howell empire will crumble, it'll…one final offer Wrong Way. I'll give you half interest of everything I got, my industries my…I'll even give you my…my very own teddy bear. Mr. Howell gives Wrong Way his most prized possession. Wrong Way takes the teddy bear but says nothing. Mr. Howell is quite upset at Wrong Ways lack of enthusiasm. MR HOWELL (SOTTO) A man makes a fair offer and a… Mr. Howell grabs his teddy bear back, turns and leave the hut as we… FADE TO: EXT - JUNGLE CLEARING - MORNING Wrong Way is seen inspecting his airplane and appears pleased with the results. He looks as if he's ready to take to the air. The rest of the castaways are standing by watching. WRONG WAY Apple pie order! Beautiful! Wrong Way pats his hand on the engine cowling and finds dirt on his fingers. WRONG WAY Dirt! Gilligan uses his shirt to rub the dirt off Wrong Ways fingers. Wrong Way is now ready to fly. WRONG WAY Standby Gilligan. GILLIGAN Yes sir. WRONG WAY Professor you done a great job I'm quite satisfied. PROFESSOR Well thank you Wrong Way. Everyone's worked very hard. WRONG WAY Bless you all! MARY ANN Wrong Way!? WRONG WAY What? MARY ANN Oh good luck! With that, Mary Ann gives Wrong Way a kiss on the cheek. As Wrong Way start back to the plane, he puts his arm around her waist and starts to lead her to the plane as if he was taking her with him. The skipper sees this and pulls Mary Ann away at the last second. Wrong Way looks a bit put back at loosing her. WRONG WAY Lindy had sandwiches! Wrong Way then gets in the plane and prepares for take off. Gilligan is at the front of the plane ready to help. MR HOWELL Oh Wrong Way! Remember fringe benefits, come back for you know who! MARY ANN Oh When you get to Kansas would you call my Uncle George and Aunt Martha please! GINGER Oh a…and when you get to Hollywood, would you call my agent and his wife, who ever he's married to this week! WRONG WAY Please please! I…I…I want you'z all to understand, WE, ain't any more important than any one of you. Although, I'll be up THERE risking my life, still, it's a team that counts! Alright! Clear the runway! Wrong Way takes his seat in the airplane and makes ready. WRONG WAY Gilligan! GILLIGAN Yes sir! WRONG WAY Rudder! GILLIGAN Check! WRONG WAY Left wing flap! GILLIGAN Check! WRONG WAY Right wing flap! GILLIGAN Check! WRONG WAY STAND BY!! GILLIGAN Standing by! WRONG WAY Contact! Gilligan gives the propeller a swing and the engine sputters to life. Gilligan is flung into the skipper where he ends up on the ground. Wrong Way is getting ready to rev up the engine when the engine backfires and the propeller falls to the ground. FADE TO: EXT - JUNGLE CLEARING - NIGHT It's dark and there's a shadow seen of an unknown person walking near the airplane. He grabs a wing strut and starts to cut it using a hack saw as we… FADE OUT ACT TWO FADE IN STOCK SHOT OF OCEAN/BEACH VIEW WITH PALM TREES CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE CLEARING - MORNING As before Wrong Way in seated in the plane and making preparations for take off. WRONG WAY GILLIGAN! GILLIGAN Yes Sir! WRONG WAY Stand by! GILLIGAN Standing by! WRONG WAY Alright everybody clear the runway! WRONG WAY CONTACT! GILLIGAN Contact! Once again Gilligan swings the propeller to get it going. The engine coughs to life and this time the propeller stays on. ALL Yeh!! MR HOWELL Ah Bravo! WRONG WAY I'm taken her straight up! ALL YEH!! As Wrong Way looks around for a final inspections, he notices something wrong with the wing support. INSERT: CLOSE SHOT OF CUT WING SUPPORT Wrong Way senses the danger, and leaps out of the plane and onto the ground. The professor runs over to aid Wrong Way. PROFESSOR Wrong Way! Are you alright! SKIPPER Gilligan cut the motor!! GILLIGAN Yes sir! Gilligan runs to the cockpit and reaches inside to cut the engine. The skipper and professor are at Wrong Ways side. MR HOWELL First sign of trouble and he bails out! WRONG WAY Look at that! I wouldn't had no control of the plane! PROFESSOR Your right! Someone's tampered with this strut! And it was no accident! WRONG WAY What do you mean! PROFESSOR Somebody sabotaged this plane! GILLIGAN Yeah and they cut the strut too! SKIPPER That's nonsense! Who'd want to wreck the plane!? PROFESSOR Maybe there's someone else on this island that we don't know about. WRONG WAY Maybe one of you isn't so anxious to have me fly for help. MARY ANN Oh Wrong Way don't be silly! We all want to be rescued. GINGER And soon! I'm practically all out of mascara! MR HOWELL Nobodies more anxious to be rescued than we are! MRS HOWELL That's right we told our chauffer to keep the motor going! PROFESSOR Well somebody sabotaged this plane! GILLIGAN And cut the strut! WRONG WAY Couple a more minutes I could've been killed! SKIPPER Well from now on we're not taking any more chances! We men will stand a twenty four hour guard around the plane! MR HOWELL Here here! WRONG WAY (TO MR HOWELL) Not you! FADE TO: EXT - JUNGLE CLEARING - NIGHT Gilligan and the skipper are near the airplane late at night and it's Gilligan's turn to guard the plane. SKIPPER Gilligan there are no more bullets for the gun. So use this bow and arrow for protection. GILLIGAN Don't worry skipper I'll guard the plane. SKIPPER There you see. Now that's for protection. The skipper shows Gilligan how the bow and arrow works. GILLIGAN Yeah. SKIPPER Now don't let anyone near the plane cause we don't know who wrecked it. Not anyone at all. GILLIGAN OK SKIPPER OK? GILLIGAN Yeah SKIPPER I'll relieve you in a couple of hours little buddy. The skipper hands the bow and arrow to Gilligan who now is trying it out. GILLIGAN Yes sir. The skipper walks off into the jungle on his way back to camp. Gilligan is left standing near the plane with the bow and arrow looking alert but afraid. He's silently whistling to himself as he looks around exercising the bow and arrow. Suddenly he hears a noise coming from the jungle. GILLIGAN Who's there!? SKIPPER Me! GILLIGAN Who's me!? SKIPPER It's me! GILLIGAN Stay where you are me! How do I know it's you!? SKIPPER Your right it's not me it's the Count of Monte Cristo! GILLIGAN I knew it! SKIPPER Gilligan it's the skipper I forgot my lantern! GILLIGAN Say something the skipper would say! SKIPPER Put down that bow and arrow you idiot or I'll break you in half!! GILLIGAN Yep it's the skipper alright! The skipper enters the clearing at the same time Gilligan is moving his way and runs into skipper as we… FADE TO: STOCK SHOT OCEAN/BEACH VIEW CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE CLEARING - DAY The skipper and the professor are near the plane waiting for Wrong Way. PROFESSOR I wonder where Wrong Way is. He said he wanted to test the engine. SKIPPER Well you know how he is. With his sense of direction if he started for the plane he might've walk straight into the ocean! PROFESSOR I'm getting worried. Gilligan went after him twenty minutes ago. Just then Gilligan runs out from the jungle looking worried. GILLIGAN Skipper! Skipper. Skipper. SKIPPER What is it Gilligan! ILLIGAN Wrong Way's gone! SKIPPER What are you talking about!? PROFESSOR Wrong Ways gone!? GILLIGAN His hut's a mess, everything's broken up and thrown around! I thought maybe he's a restless sleeper but… SKIPPER Are you sure!? GILLIGAN He must have put up an awful fight! PROFESSOR Yeah but against what!? SKIPPER Yeah against what! GILLIGAN I don't know, but look here's his scarf! SKIPPER We'll have to spread out and comb the island! Professor you take that direction! Gilligan you go in the back of the island, and I'll go out to the ocean! Alright!? Gilligan, the skipper and professor all run into each ther as they try to leaving the clearing. SKIPPER Doh! FADE TO: EXT - JUNGLE - DAY Gilligan is searching for Wrong Way as he makes his way through the Jungle. There's a row of bushes he's passing and on the other side is Wrong Way. Wrong way sees Gilligan and they start a game of walking around and through the bushes. Wrong Way is trying not to be seen. Eventually Gilligan parts the bushes, only to be staring into the face of Wrong Way and is startled. GILLIGAN Waaahhhh! Wrong Way!! Wrong Way turns and runs away as Gilligan follows. GILLIGAN Wrong Way!? Wrong Way!? Wrong Way is trying to evade Gilligan and makes his way to the jungle clearing where he's been staying. Gilligan follows him into the clearing. GILLIGAN Boy I'm sure glad I found you! Gilligan looks around and doesn't see anyone else there but Wrong Way. GILLIGAN Where are the kidnapers huh? WRONG WAY There ain't no kidnappers. GILLIGAN No kidnappers? WRONG WAY It was a hoax! GILLIGAN You were kidnapped by a hoax!? WRONG WAY Can't you understand Gilligan! I am a coward! GILLIGAN What!!? WRONG WAY Sure. I'm the one who sabotaged that plane. I loosened the propeller, I cut the struts. After all these years I just couldn't fly that plane! Oh I'm washed up, through! Gilligan, I am grounding myself. Wrong Way removes the flying wings from his flight suit and gives it to Gilligan. GILLIGAN The way you were talking, we all thought you wanted to fly! WRONG WAY Aaaah…it was just a front for a man who has lost his confidence. Ah It would have been better if I'd remained lost to the world. Since I ain't got nothing left to give it. GILLIGAN What about me!? You could teach me to fly! And I can take that plane out of here! WRONG WAY You fly the Spirit of the Bronx!? GILLIGAN Sure! WRONG WAY Handle a Krieder Rightner KR21!? GILLIGAN With you teaching me, I can handle a Krieder…Kried… WRONG WAY Krieder Rightner GILLIGAN I can handle it! WRONG WAY Yeah but Gilligan! I always fly the wrong way! Gilligan That's ok! You point me in one direction and I'll go in the other! WRONG WAY It just might work! At least it'd be a chance to save them people. GILLIGAN We'll get started right away! I'll go tell the others! WRONG WAY You'll do nothing of the kind! We'll stay right here. Then when the conditions are prevailed, as far as they're concerned, you're going to rescue them Gilligan. And Wrong Way Feldman, will remain lost to the world. A legend in his own time. GILLIGAN Wrong Way, your quite a guy and, whether you think so or not, you deserve these wings! Gilligan takes the wings Wrong Way gave him and slaps them back onto Wrong Ways chest. The pins on the back of the wings are driven neatly into Wrong Way's chest with great pain to Wrong Way. FADE TO: STOCK SHOT OF OCEAN/PALM TREES EVENING FADE TO : EXT - JUNGLE CLEARING - NIGHT The skipper is seen "guarding" the plane but is obviously sleeping cause he's snoring. Suddenly he hears a sound coming from the jungle and is now very alert. SKIPPER Who goes there!? The professor comes from around the plane without saying a word and scares the life out of the skipper. PROFESSOR It's my turn to… The skipper lets out a howl of fear as soon as the professor speaks. Realizing it's only the professor, the skipper is very much relieved. SKIPPER Professor Ha…ha…ha…ha, wells alls well so far. Ah Gilligan will be here at six to relieve you. PROFESSOR Well he's suppose to but then again you never know what Gilligan will do. SKIPPER Yeah I know. The skipper turns and leaves to go back to his hut. PROFESSOR Good night skip. SKIPPER Good night. FLIP TO: EXT - WRONG WAY'S HUT CLEARING - NIGHT We see Wrong Way and Gilligan in the clearing where Gilligan found Wrong Way. Gilligan is sitting on a fallen tree trunk with various fruits attached to a board in front of him. Wrong Way is at his side as he gives "flight" instructions. WRONG WAY Alright, one two three four we go through it again! The banana is the oil pressure. The coconut is the altitude. The pineapple is the speed gauge. The Papaya is the ignition. Now you gotta keep your eyes on the instruments at all times. Alright now get ready for take off. First thing you do is you flip on the ignition. Gilligan reaches for the coconut. WRONG WAY No no! That's the altitude! GILLIGAN I went to turn on the Papaya instead of the coconut. WRONG WAY Alright, now what's the second thing you do? Gilligan's leg is bouncing up and down rapidly and Wrong Way is getting testy. WRONG WAY No no no what are you doing!!? GILLIGAN My foot asleep! Gilligan is making engine noises with is mouth as he continues to receive flight instructions. FLIP TO: SAME SCENE - LATER WRONG WAY Alright, one two three four we try it again. You are flying at an altitude of thirty thousand feet, suddenly you encounter head winds of eighty miles an hour! Show me what you do! Gilligan pulls back on the makeshift control stick. WRONG WAY No no your looping!! Gilligan then pushes forward on the stick. WRONG WAY Now your in a power dive! Gilligan start moving the stick around frantically and ends up pulling it out. He tosses the sick aside. WRONG WAY Now your in a tail spin!! Look out your gonna crash!! Your gonna crash! GILLIGAN CRASH!!! WRONG WAY Yeah!! GILLIGAN I'm getting out of here!! Gilligan panics and jumps off the simulated airplane and onto the ground. WRONG WAY What'd you do that for? GILLIGAN I don't think that planes too safe! FADE TO: STOCK SHOT OCEAN/BEACH/PALM TREES FADE TO: EXT - JUNGLE CLEARING - MORNING The professor is standing next to the plane waiting for Gilligan to relieve him. Gilligan runs on camera. GILLIGAN Good morning professor, I'll stand guard now. PROFESSOR Oh thanks Gilligan, I'll go wake up the skipper. Now that it's getting light we can start looking for Wrong Way again. GILLIGAN Yeah right! The professor takes off back to camp as Gilligan watches him leave. When the professor is out of sight, Gilligan signals Wrong Way. GILLIGAN (WHISPERING) Pssst. Pssst! Hey wrong Way! WRONG WAY Gilligan are you sure you wanna go through with this? Gilligan is putting on Wrong Way's filthy old flying coat, helmet and goggles. GILLIGAN Of course! WRONG WAY Alright have you got everything straight? On the take off what do you do with the flaps? GILLIGAN Put'em down! WRONG WAY No it's the throttle you put down! GILLIGAN I thought that was the brakes! WRONG WAY NO! You got to pay attention, now you gotta very short runway you…you gotta clear them trees! CUT TO: STOCK SHOT ROW OF TALL PALM TREES CUT TO: PREVIOUS SHOT GILLIGAN Ah don't worry about them trees, off I go into the wild blue yonder! WORNG WAY Never mind the wild blue yonder just clear them TREES! Gilligan has gotten into the cockpit with Wrong Way at his side. Wrong Way is helping Gilligan with final preparations. WRONG WAY Ok now first, check the instruments. Gilligan peers down at the instrument panel. GILLIGAN Uh oh! Uh OH! WRONG WAY Wha…What's the matter? GILLIGAN I can't fly this plane! There's no fruit in hear! I know what I'll do, I got a great idea. Gilligan gets out of the cockpit. GILLIGAN I'll go get a Pineapple, Papaya and a coconut and… WRONG WAY GILLIGAN!!! GILLIGAN I got the banana. FLIP TO: EXT - JUNGLE - DAY The sound of an airplane is heard as we see the professor, the skipper, Mr. And Mrs. Howell, Ginger and Mary Ann making their way through the jungle. PROFESSOR You heard it skipper it had to be our plane that took off! SKIPPER Wrong Way wouldn't leave without telling us! MR HOWELL It's getting so a man can't get any sleep around here! MRS HOWELL Well if it's true, I'm going to start packing right after breakfast. GINGER I can't believe it! MARY ANN Gilligan would've told us! CUT TO: STOCK SHOT OF BIPLANE FLYING CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE CLEARING - DAY Gilligan is seen sitting on the ground picking himself up. As the other castaways run into the clearing. PROFESSOR Gilligan! SKIPPER Gilligan little buddy are you alright! GILLIGAN I… SKIPPER What happened! GILLIGAN I tried to stop him! Gilligan is looking up into the sky. CUT TO: STOCK SHOT OF BIPLANE FLYING CUT TO: CLOSE UP WRONG WAY IN COCKPIT CUT TO: STOCK SHOT OF BIPLANE PERFORMING A ROLL CUT TO: CLOSE UP WRONG WAY IN COCKPIT CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE CLEARING - DAY All the castaways are staring up in the sky. MARY ANN Oh is that Wrong Way up there!? MR HOWELL Of course it is, can't you tell! CUT TO: STOCK SHOT OF BIPLANE FLYING UPSIDE DOWN. CUT TO: CLOSE UP WRONG WAY IN COCKPIT UPSIDE DOWN CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE CLEARING - DAY SKIPPER Gilligan what happened!? GILLIGAN Oh it's a long story skipper! But there goes the bravest man I've ever known! Next to you. Skipper looks affectionately at Gilligan as we… FADE OUT EPILOG FADE IN STOCK SHOT OF PALM TREES CUT TO: EXT - HUT CLEARING - CLOSE SHOT – TABLE - DAY We see the radio sitting on the table as the castaways are standing around it listening to a news report. RADIO ANNOUNCER AND NEW YORK IS WELCOMING WRONG WAY FELDMAN WITH IT'S GREATEST TICKERTAPE PARADE IN HONOR OF THE MOST REMARKABLE ROUND THE WORLD FLIGHT IN HISTORY. THIRTY THREE AND A HALF YEARS FROM THE DAY HE LEFT THE BRONX. WRONG WAY HAS TOLD THE AUTHORITIES A STRANGE STORY OF A DESERTED ISLAND, WITH A GROUP OF CASTAWAYS WHO HELPED HIM FIX HIS PLANE. AND THE AUTHORITIES HAVE MADE EVERY EFFORT TO INVESTIGATE THIS POSSIBILITY. UNFORTUNATELY WRONG WAY'S CALCULATIONS ARE SO CONFUSED THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND COULD BE LOCATED ANYWHERE BETWEEN THE BAY OF NAPLES AND THE ARCTIC OCEAN. CONSIDERING WRONG WAYS PAST REPUTATION, THIS IS OBVIOUSLY ANOTHER FANTASTIC TALE CREATED FROM WRONG WAY'S VIVID IMAGINATION. IN ANY EVENT, WRONG WAY FELDMAN IS ONE OF AVIATIONS GREAT HEROES, AND HE WILL LONG BE REMEMBERED FOR THE GREAT HERITAGE HE LEAVES US. The skipper turns off the radio. SKIPPER Our great hero didn't leave US much! GILLIGAN Oh yes he did! Gilligan flips up the front of his cap to reveal… GILLIGAN I got his wings! We zoom in on Gilligan and the pilot wings on his cap as we… FADE OUT END CREDITS GILLIGAN'S ISLAND "Wrong Way Feldman" Rev. 10/24/64