GILLIGAN'S ISLAND


			"Beauty Is As Beauty Does"

				    By

				Joanne Lee



							September 23, 1965


				TEASER

FADE IN:

STOCK SHOT OF OCEAN THROUGH PALM TREES - CREDIT OVERLAY
 
CUT TO: EXT – HUT CLEARING – DAY - WIDE SHOT

	All the castaways are seated around the communal 
	table for dinner. Ginger is spooning onto a plate 
	something out of a pot that's over an open fire. 
	She walks over to the table and starts to dish 
	out what she put on the plate. She sits next to 
	the skipper. As the others pass around the food, 
	they are all talking amongst themselves in an ad-
	lib fashion. The radio is playing in the 
	background even though we can't hear it over the 
	chatter.

(TRANSCRIBERS NOTE: Since they are all talking over 
each other, their conversations are unintelligible at 
best and are not reproduced here)

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT - GROUP

	Mr. Howell is by far the most vocal and the 
	skipper is having trouble hearing a news report.

				SKIPPER
			Mr. Howell. Mrs. Howell. 
			Mr. and Mrs. Howell, quiet, please!

				RADIO
			…SAN FRANSISCO. JOANIE JOE LANGFORD 
			FROM…

CUT TO: EXTREME CLOSE UP OF RADIO

				(CONTINUED)
			…WEHAWK CITY ALABAMA, WAS SELECTED 
			TONIGHT AS WINNER OF…

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GINGER AND SKIPPER

	Ginger is listening intently.

				(CONTINUED)
			…THE MISS GLOBE BEAUTY PAGEANT.

				GINGER
			Oh they have to be kidding!

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT – GROUP

				RADIO
			PRIZES WON BY THE RAVEN HAIRED CO-ED, 
			INCLUDE A ROUND THE WORLD TRIP, PLUS…

	Ginger violently turns off the radio.

				GINGER
			Oh! Raven haired co-ed!? 

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GINGER AND SKIPPER

				GINGER
			Well that old bags been entering 
			contests since I was a kid!! I could 
			have beaten Joanie Joe Langford with my 
			hair up in curlers and my front tooth 
			blacked out!

	The skipper stands up.

				SKIPPER
			Ginger we know you could have won.

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT – GROUP

				SKIPPER
			In fact, I'll propose a toast. To 
			Ginger, the most beautiful castaway in 
			the whole wide world.

	He raises his coconut for the toast.

				GINGER
			Thank you skipper.

	Gilligan stands up.

				GILLIGAN
			Here's to Ginger!

	Gilligan raises his coconut and takes a drink.

				MRS HOWELL
			You know there's really more to beauty 
			than perfection of face and figure. 

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF MR AND MRS HOWELL

				MRS HOWELL
			It also means breeding and poise, and a 
			kind of charm that comes from maturity.

	Mr. Howell stands and raises his coconut.

PAN UP WITH MR HOWELL

				MR HOWELL
			Ha…how true. In my opinion, Mrs. Howell 
			is the most beautiful creature, in the 
			world.

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF GROUP

	Gilligan stands once again.

				GILLIGAN
			Here's to Mrs. Howell!

	Gilligan raises his coconut smashes it into the 
	skippers coconut, making it splash all over.

				PROFESSOR
			Gentlemen, I'm afraid that I must inject 
			another opinion here. 

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF PROFESSOR

	The professor stands and raises his coconut.

				PROFESSOR
			In addition to beauty of face and 
			figure, there is a lady here who also 
			has sweetness and warmth. The lady I 
			would pick as the most beautiful in the 
			world, Mary Ann.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN AND MARY ANN

	Mary Ann looks a bit embarrassed.

				MARY ANN
				(WHISPER)
			Oh thank you.

	Gilligan stands again.

				GILLIGAN
			Here's to Mary Ann!

	Gilligan raises his coconut for another toast. 

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT – GROUP

				SKIPPER
			Well it'd seem that there's a difference 
			of opinion here. But I don't see any 
			reason for argument. 

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER AND GINGER

				SKIPPER
			Lets say that, Ginger is the most 
			beautiful, eh…Mrs. Howell…

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF MR AND MRS HOWELL

			      (CONTINUED)
				(O.S.)
			…is certainly the most gracious,…

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER AND GINGER

			      (CONTINUED)
			…and last but not least, Mary Ann is the 
			sweetest.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN AND MARY ANN

				GILLIGAN
			Yeah, lets say that!

	Gilligan stands and raises his coconut.

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF GROUP 

				MR HOWELL
			Lets NOT say it! I said that Mrs. Howell 
			is the most beautiful creature in the 
			world,…

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF MR AND MRS HOWELL 

			       (CONTINUED)
			…and that is precisely what I meant!

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF PROFESSOR

				PROFESSOR
			I beg your pardon, when I said that Mary 
			Ann was the most beautiful in the world, 
			that is exactly what I meant!

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN AND MARY ANN

				GILLIGAN
			I know I know! Lets have a beauty 
			contest here on the island. And we could 
			pick a…a miss…miss castaway!

CUT TO: WIDE SHOT - GROUP

				GINGER
			Oooo! A beauty contest here!? Oh that 
			just suites me fine!

				MRS HOWELL
			I think it's a marvelous idea!

				MARY ANN
			I agree too! See you on the runway 
			girls!

				GINGER
			Ok!

	All the ladies walk off camera to start getting 
	ready for the contest. This leaves the men left 
	staring at Gilligan.

				MR HOWELL
			Oh Gilligan, what a can of peas have you 
			opened!

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN

				GILLIGAN
			All I said was, we should have a beauty 
			contest.

	Gilligan is left not fully understanding the 
	problems he just created as we…

								FADE OUT






				ACT I

FADE IN:

EXTERIOR STOCK SHOT OF SUPPLY HUT 

(Transcribers note: Another of the many 
exterior/interior continuity errors)

CUT TO: INT – GINGER AND MARY ANN'S HUT – DAY

MEDIUM SHOT OF GINGER

	Ginger is posing in her leopard swimsuit. The 
	skipper is off camera acting as her coach.
	
				GINGER
			Well, how do I look?

	Skipper walks on camera to Ginger

				SKIPPER
			Ginger believe me, you look like the 
			Venus DeMilo WITH arms!

			What about the talent part?

				GINGER
			Oh! Well I was thinking of doing the 
			final scene from my last movie, it's 
			very dramatic.

				SKIPPER
			Oh good! Lets hear it!

	Skipper walks off camera.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER

	He's looking excited.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GINGER

				GINGER
			I surrender to our passions my love.

	We see Gilligan entering the hut, not knowing Ginger 
	is rehearsing.

				GILLIGAN
			Hi skipper. I finished the runways.

				GINGER
			Willingly! Gladly!

				GILLIGAN
			So I thought I'd come over and see if 
			you needed anything at all. So…

	Ginger grabs Gilligan tightly as she says her lines.

				GINGER
			I want to go where you go!

				GILLIGAN
			Right now!?

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER

	He's looking angry with Gilligan.

CUT TO: PREVIOUS SHOT

				GINGER
			Lift me to the heavens my love! Sweep me 
			off my feet! Oh please take me with you. 
			Carry me off.

				GILLIGAN
			Well I'll try. Where do you want me to 
			carry you to?

	Gilligan tries to lift Ginger off the ground.

				GINGER
			Gilligan!!

	The skipper runs on camera to get Gilligan off of Ginger.

				SKIPPER
			Gilligan are you insane?

				GINGER
			Let me alone!!

				GILLIGAN
			She said to sweep her off and take her 
			up into the heavens!

				SKIPPER
			Gilligan can't you see we're trying to 
			work! What is it you want!?

				GILLIGAN
			Well I finished the runway skipper so I 
			thought I'd come over…

				SKIPPER
			All right you want something else to do 
			is that it? 

	The skipper hands Gilligan a pail.

				SKIPPER
			Here Gilligan. Go get us some lobsters 
			for lunch. Now GET OUT!

				GILLIGAN
			Ya don't have to yell.

				SKIPPER
			Yes I do ye…will you GO!

	Gilligan runs out of the hut leaving the skipper 
	to cool down.

				SKIPPER
			Now Ginger, right where we left off.

	The skipper walks off camera again to watch.

				GINGER
			I surrender to our passions my love...

FLIP TO: EXT – LAGOON – DAY

EXTREME WIDE SHOT

	We see the professor and Mary Ann walking towards 
	the lagoon's beach from the main pathway. The 
	professor is carrying a basket, while Mary Ann is 
	in a dark colored bathing suit.

ZOOM IN FOR MEDIUM SHOT OF PROFESSOR AND MARY ANN

				MARY ANN
			Well professor, I bet you never thought 
			you'd be coaching a beauty contest.

				PROFESSOR
			Mary Ann the combination of your natural 
			attributes and my scientific approach 
			will prove unbeatable. 

	The professor starts taking bottles out of the 
	basket he carries.

				PROFESSOR
			Look,…

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF PROFESSOR AND MARY ANN

				(CONTINUED)
			…seaweed shampoo for lustrous hair, 
			crushed blackberries…

CUT TO: ANGLE ON PROFESSOR

				(CONTINUED)
			…for darkening the lashes, powdered 
			hibiscus for ruby lips,…

CUT TO: ANGLE ON MARY ANN

				(CONTINUED)

			…and coconut oil for a baby soft skin.

				MARY ANN
			Just add a little vinegar, and I can 
			enter the contest as a Caesar salad.

				PROFESSOR
			Leave it to me.

CUT TO: ANGLE ON PROFESSOR

				(CONTINUED)
			By the time science and I are through, 
			you'll make Ginger and Mrs. Howell look 
			like drop outs from boys town.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF PROFESSOR AND MARY ANN

				MARY ANN
			Well what's the fishing pole for?

				PROFESSOR
			Oh that's to provide you with a form of 
			isometric exercise.

CUT TO: ANGLE ON MARY ANN

				MARY ANN
			Isometric exercise?

				PROFESSOR
			Yes. 

CUT TO: ANGLE ON PROFESSOR

				PROFESSOR
			Always remember that true beauty is the 
			end result of the inner glow of good 
			health. And isometric exercise provides 
			for the inner play of muscle against 
			muscle. 

CUT TO: ANGLE ON MARY ANN

				PROFESSOR
			To improve the general physique.

				MARY ANN
			Oh but professor! I just want to beat 
			Mrs. Howell and Ginger, not Cassius Clay!

(Transcribers note: Cassius Clay, AKA Mohammad Ali, was a famous boxer)

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF PROFESSOR AND MARY ANN

				PROFESSOR
			I'll just attach this to your bathing 
			suit. You get in that lagoon and you 
			swim just as hard as you possibly can.

	Mary Ann turns around and the professor attaches 
	a hook to the back of Mary Ann's bathing suit.

				MARY ANN
			You're sure it'll help me win?

				PROFESSOR
			Yes this will provide for the inner play 
			of muscle against muscle.

				MARY ANN
			All right, but I don't want to come out 
			looking like Johnny Weissmuller.

(Transcribers note: Johnny Weissmuller played the original Tarzan 
in the TV series by the same name.)

				PROFESSOR
			Don't worry, you won't. Now get in there 
			and you swim just as hard as you 
			possibly can.

	Mary Ann walks off camera towards the Lagoon.

CUT TO: EXT – LAGOON – DAY

WIDE SHOT

	Mary Ann enters the water and walks out a ways.

				MARY ANN
			Hold on!

	She begins to swim very strongly. The professor 
	is holding the fishing pole with all his might.

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF PROFESSOR

	He's seen holding the fishing rod as though he's 
	fighting a big fish.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF MARY ANN

	She's swimming with all her might, kicking and 
	splashing as she goes.

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF PROFESSOR

	Gilligan walks out of the jungle with his pail 
	from behind the professor and sees the professor 
	struggling. He assumes the professor caught a 
	fish. 

				GILLIGAN
			Oh professor you hooked a big one!

	Gilligan drops his pail and grabs the fishing 
	pole to help.

				PROFESSOR
			Oh! Oh! Gilligan I'm busy!

				GILLIGAN
			I'll help ya! Come on professor!

				PROFESSOR
			Gilligan!!

				GILLIGAN
			Don't let him get away!

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF MARY ANN

	She's unaware that Gilligan thinks she's a fish 
	and keeps on swimming hard.

				PROFESSOR
				 (O.S.)
			Oh! Oh! Gilligan I'm busy!

				GILLIGAN
				 (O.S.)
			I'll help ya! Come on professor!

				PROFESSOR
				 (O.S.)
			Gilligan!!

				GILLIGAN
				 (O.S.)
			Don't let him get away!

CUT TO: PREVIOUS SHOT

				PROFESSOR
			Gilligan!

				GILLIGAN
			Don't let him get away professor!

				PROFESSOR
			Please!

	Just then her suit can't take the strain and 
	rips loose. It fly's back and hits the professor 
	and Gilligan in the face as they fall backwards. 
	We hear Mary Ann scream in the background.

				MARY ANN
			Ohhh!

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF MARY ANN

	We see Mary Ann with her bare back to the camera. 
	She obviously no longer is wearing a bathing 
	suit. She spins around and lets out another 
	indignant scream. 

				MARY ANN
			Ohhh! Ohhh!

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF PROFESSOR AND GILLIGAN

	Gilligan is examining the suit.

				GILLIGAN
			Huh, must have been a girl fish!

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF MARY ANN

	She's got her arms crossed over her front as she 
	tries to cover herself.

				MARY ANN
			Gilligan!! Ohhh!

CUT TO: PREVIOUS SHOT

	Both professor and Gilligan realize Mary Ann is 
	no longer clothed and quickly cover their eyes. 
	Gilligan takes a peek between his fingers.

				PROFESSOR
			Good heavens!

	Gilligan gives the professor a nudge.

				GILLIGAN
			You go get her!

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF MARY ANN

	She's looking upset and embarrassed as we…

FADE TO: EXT – JUNGLE CLEARING – DAY

MEDIUM SHOT OF MR AND MRS HOWELL

	Mr. Howell is coaching Mrs. Howell and are doing 
	exercises. Mr. Howell is not performing the 
	exercise as he calls out cadence.

				MR HOWELL
			   (MR MAGOO VOICE)
			All right hands on hips de…deep knee 
			bends here we go all right a to a ONE 
			two one two ONE two lower Lovey, ONE two 
			one two ONE two one two all right I 
			think you can rest now my dear.

ZOOM IN FOR CLOSE UP 

				MRS HOWELL
			     (OUT OF BREATH)
			Oh really Thurston, this is silly! Who's 
			going to vote for me over those two 
			beautiful young girls!?

				MR HOWELL
			But my dear you're a Howell! And no one 
			can beat a Howell.

				MRS HOWELL
			Yes but does everybody think like a 
			Howell?

				MR HOWELL
			Now wait a minute. Are you or are you 
			not rich enough to be the most beautiful 
			woman wherever you go, hum?

				MRS HOWELL
			Ah, Thurston I'm afraid it's hopeless. 
			Unless of course we can convince 
			Gilligan to vote for me.

				MR HOWELL
			Wait a minute. Do you think I'm the type 
			of man who'd try and influence a judge 
			in a fair and square contest?

				MRS HOWELL
			Yes Thurston.

				MR HOWELL
			You know me pretty good don't you, yes! 
			After all a Howell gets what he needs, 
			and right, now all I need it, Gilligan.

	Mrs. Howell giggles slightly at the thought as we…

FLIP TO: INT – GINGER AND MARY ANN'S HUT – DAY

EXTREME CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER

				SKIPPER
			Ok Ginger, lets try that acting scene 
			again.

PULL BACK FOR CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER AND GINGER - ANGLE FAVORING SKIPPER

				GINGER
			You know skipper I was just thinking. 
			You shouldn't have yelled at Gilligan 
			this morning.

				SKIPPER
			Why not?

CUT TO: ANGLE ON GINGER

				GINGER
			Well, because um, Mr. Howell is gonna 
			vote for his wife, and the professor is 
			gonna vote for Mary Ann, and that leaves 
			Gilligan to elect miss castaway.

CUT TO: ANGLE ON SKIPPER

				SKIPPER
			Why I know, but he has to vote for you. 
			Wa…I mean you're the obvious winner.

CUT TO: ANGLE ON GINGER

				GINGER
			Well thank you very much, but sometimes 
			the obvious one doesn't win.

CUT TO: ANGLE ON SKIPPER

				SKIPPER
			You got a point there. Gilligan is kind 
			of tender hearted. He might vote for the 
			underdog. That is I mean, girl!

CUT TO: ANGLE ON GINGER

				GINGER
			That's right so a, we're gonna have to 
			do something to convince him.

CUT TO: ANGLE ON SKIPPER

				SKIPPER
			Yes, we do need Gilligan.

	The skipper is left to figure how to guarantee 
	Gilligan's vote.

FADE TO: EXT – JUNGLE CLEARING – DAY

MEDIUM SHOT OF MARY ANN

	Mary Ann is standing with a stack of books 
	balancing on her head as she tries to walk.

PAN RIGHT AND ZOOM IN WITH MARY ANN TO PROFESSOR

				PROFESSOR
			Just think tall.

				MARY ANN
			Oh, I appreciate all the work you've 
			gone to professor but it's no use. 
			Ginger's just too glamorous, and Mrs. 
			Howell too darn cultured.

				PROFESSOR
			Now I will not tolerate negative 
			thinking. Do you or do you not want to 
			be miss castaway?

				MARY ANN
			Well of course I do but, well do you 
			think I can get Gilligan's vote?

				PROFESSOR
			Oh, that reminds me. I was a bit harsh 
			this morning on our uncommitted 
			delegate.

				MARY ANN
			Well I'm sure Gilligan'll be fair.

				PROFESSOR
			Well just the same, we've got to remedy 
			that. We NEED Gilligan.

CUT TO: EXT – JUNGLE – DAY

MEDIUM SHOT OF GILLIGAN

	Gilligan is seen walking along a jungle path 
	talking to himself as he walks towards the camera.

PULL BACK WITH GILLIGAN TO APE ON BRANCH

				GILLIGAN
			All I can do is try to help. And 
			everybody yells at me. Takes advan…

	Gilligan has walked under a large tree branch 
	where Gladys the ape is perched. Gladys picks off 
	Gilligan's hat as he passes underneath.

				GILLIGAN
			Gladys. Gladys, give me back my hat.

	Gladys doesn't respond and picks at Gilligan's hair.

				GILLIGAN
 			Gladys my hat. Please. 

	Still no response and Gilligan is steamed.

				GILLIGAN
			GLADYS GIVE ME MY HAT!!!

	WIth that, Gladys puts Gilligan's hat back on is head. 
	Gladys then start whooping and making gestures at Gilligan.

				GILLIGAN
			Huh? 

	Gladys makes more noise as it trying to 
	communicate.

				GILLIGAN
			Look, don't tell me your troubles, I've 
			got enough of my own.

	Gladys keeps up the noise.

				GILLIGAN
			What am I gonna do Gladys?

	Gladys responds with more ape sounds and 
	gestures.

				GILLIGAN
			Tell'em to stop walking over me?

	Gladys responds in the affirmative with more 
	whoops and hollers.

				GILLIGAN
			Yeah? And be firm?

	Gladys keeps up giving Gilligan advice as we…

WIPE PAN LEFT TO: EXT - HUT CLEARING – DAY

MEDIUM SHOT OF SKIPPER AND GINGER

	The skipper and Ginger are setting up the table  
	as they waiting for Gilligan to arrive back at 
	camp. We see Gilligan walking towards them 
	through the jungle.

				GINGER
			Oh here he comes skipper!

	Gilligan comes walking out of the jungle with a 
	determined look on his face. He is immediately 
	approached by the skipper. 

MOVE FORWARD/ROTATE LEFT WITH GILLIGAN TO TABLE

	He makes Gilligan sit down at the table. 

				SKIPPER
			Gilligan little buddy you're just in 
			time. We saved the biggest Lobster for 
			you.

				GILLIGAN
			Oh no you don't. I'm not taking any more 
			of that!

	Ginger puts a large plate with a lobster on it in 
	front of Gilligan.

				GINGER
			Oh Gilligan it's very delicious. I 
			cooked it especially for you.

	The skipper puts a napkin under Gilligan's chin.

				GILLIGAN
			Thanks Ginger, I guess it pays to fight 
			back.

				SKIPPER
			Nothings too good for my little buddy!

				GILLIGAN
			Oooo yeah! Everybody loves a fighter!

	Just then, the professor and Mary Ann walk on 
	camera carrying another platter of food. 

				PROFESSOR
			Gilligan you don't want that!

	He slides the skipper's plate away.

				GILLIGAN
			Huh? Yes I do!

				PROFESSOR
			No you don't!

	Skipper slides the plate back in front of 
	Gilligan.

				SKIPPER
			He does too!

	Professor slides it away again.

				PROFESSOR
			No he does not!

	Mary Ann places their plate in front of Gilligan.

				MARY ANN
			Here try this Gilligan it's really much 
			better!

				PROFESSOR
			Taste it! I picked the herbs and the 
			fruits my self!

	Gilligan takes a big bite of lettuce.

				GILLIGAN
				(MUFFLED)
			It's good!

				GINGER
			Oh no you don't!

	Ginger takes the professor's plate away and hands 
	it to Mary Ann.

				GINGER
			Mine is much better Gilligan, really!

	Skipper places his plate in front of Gilligan 
	once again. Mary Ann gives her plate to the 
	professor who takes the skippers plate and 
	replaces it with his.

				PROFESSOR
			Vitamin A Gilligan, vitamin A! Exactly 
			what a nice boy like you, needs to grow 
			big and strong!

				GILLIGAN
			Ooooo I can hardly wait!

	Just then, Gilligan goes sliding left off camera 
	as Mr. Howell somehow pulls him towards his end 
	of the table.

CUT TO: NEW ANGLE ON TABLE – OPPOSITE END

CLOSE UP OF MR AND MRS HOWELL

	Gilligan comes sliding on camera as Mr. and Mrs. 
	Howell has set yet another plate of food down on 
	the table. Gilligan goes sliding right in front 
	of it.

				MRS HOWELL
			Gilligan dear I made those horderves 
			especially for your discerning pallet.

				MR HOWELL
			Here my boy try that. Huh!

	Mr. Howell gives Gilligan a sip of something in a 
	coconut. Gilligan takes a sip and looses his 
	breath.

				MR HOWELL
			From my own private stock it beats that 
			rabbit food any day of the week. Huh? 
			Some more?

	Just then, Gilligan gets magically pulled towards the 
	other end of the table.

PAN RIGHT WITH GILLIGAN TO SKIPPER, PROFESSOR, MARY ANN AND GINGER

				SKIPPER
			Come back here Gilligan! 

	Gilligan is now where he left off. At the other 
	end of the table with the skipper's plate in 
	front of him.

				SKIPPER
			Eat that lobster and that's an order!

				GINGER
			Because we want you to be happy!

	The professor takes the skipper's plate away 
	again and replaces it with his own.

				PROFESSOR
			Well, so do we!

				MARY ANN
			Gilligan's happiness means more to us 
			than anything in the world!

				GILLIGAN
			Well if everybody's so happy, how come 
			you're mad at each other!?

				SKIPPER
			Oh Gilligan we don't want to worry you 
			with that. We know what ever your 
			decision'll be, it'll be unbiased!

				GILLIGAN
			My decision about what!?

				GINGER
			Well about who wins the beauty contest 
			of course!

				MARY ANN
			We respect your integrity Gilligan. 
			That's why we're glad you have the 
			deciding vote.

				GILLIGAN
			Deciding vote? Me!? Look I don't want to 
			be judge!

				MR HOWELL
				 (O.S.)
			You have no choice in the matter.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF MR AND MRS HOWELL

				MR HOWELL
			Gilligan, will cast the deciding vote 
			for Mrs. Howell.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER, PROFESSOR, MARY ANN, GINGER AND GILLIGAN

				SKIPPER
			For Ginger!

				PROFESSOR
			For Mary Ann!

				GILLIGAN
			Look, I'm not going to vote for anybody 
			right now! Ginger, Mary Ann or Mrs. 
			Howell! No Uh-huh!

	The professor takes his plate off the table. 

				PROFESSOR
			All right then, my dear, we will make 
			our meals elsewhere. 

	The professor and Mary Ann walk off camera. Now 
	that Gilligan realizes he's loosing his food, he 
	tries to back peddle.

				GILLIGAN
			I was, just kind of, joking. Don't get 
			mad at me.

				GINGER
			Come on skipper, I don't want to…

	The skipper takes his food away also, and he and 
	Ginger walk off camera.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF MR AND MRS HOWELL

				MRS HOWELL
			Come along Thurston. We'll have our 
			diner in our room's darling.

				MR HOWELL
			So right!

	They too take their food and walk off camera as we…

CUT TO: PREVIOUS SHOT

	Gilligan is left with no food so he grabs a 
	banana from his pocket and is about to eat it 
	when Gladys the ape jumps up on the table and 
	takes the banana from him. Gilligan is left with 
	no food and just a depressed look on his face. He 
	dabs his mouth with his unused napkin as we…


								FADE OUT







				ACT II

FADE IN:

STOCK SHOT OF LARGE PALM TREE WITH BLUE SKY IN BG

CUT TO: EXT – JUNGLE – DAY

MEDIUM SHOT OF GILLIGAN AND GLADYS

	We see Gilligan and Gladys walking through the 
	jungle together along a path. Gladys is making 
	her ape sounds as they walk.

				GILLIGAN
			Friendly little beauty contest. You know 
			what I think Gladys? About as friendly 
			as world war two!

				SKIPPER
				 (O.S.)
			Gilligan! 

	Gladys panics and jumps up on the branch of a 
	tree.

				GILLIGAN
			Hey Gladys! It's ok it's just the 
			skipper! The skipper! You remember the 
			skipper don't ya!? Huh?

	Gladys indicates she knows the skipper by making 
	big encircling arms in front of her indicating 
	someone fat.

				GILLIGAN
			Yeah that's him.

				SKIPPER
				(O.S.)
			Gilligan!

	The skipper walks on camera from behind the two.

				SKIPPER
			Gilligan where are you! There you are.

				GILLIGAN
			Hi skipper I'd like to have you meet 
			Gladys. Gladys this is the skipper.

	The skipper shakes Gladys's hand.

				SKIPPER
			Gladys how are you…oh I know Gladys!
			Gilligan I've got to talk to you. Alone.

				GILLIGAN
			Alone? Oh, ok skipper. Gladys you got to 
			go now. I'll see ya later ok?

	Gladys starts making more noise and jumps from 
	the tree. She lands right on the skipper's foot 
	making him yelp with pain.

				SKIPPER
			OHPP!

				GILLIGAN
			What'd you want to talk about skipper?

				SKIPPER
			Gilligan, there's a broken heart for 
			every light on Broadway and we have one 
			right here on this island.

				GILLIGAN
			A light on Broadway!?

				SKIPPER
			No Gilligan a broken heart!
			Now think about it. If you had Broadway 
			lying at your feet, it was all smashed 
			to smithereens, what would you do?

				GILLIGAN
			Stay off Broadway.

				SKIPPER
			Gilligan. please. Give Ginger back a 
			piece of her dream. Make it up to her 
			for the way cruel fates have treated 
			her. 

				GILLIGAN
			I guess you're right skipper. Ginger 
			deserves to win.

				SKIPPER
			That's right little buddy.

	The skipper, satisfied with his argument, pats Gilligan 
	on the shoulder as we…

FLIP TO: EXT – JUNGLE – DAY – LATER

	Gilligan is seen once again walking along a path 
	through the jungle when all of a sudden we see a 
	cane poke out from along the path, tripping him 
	to the ground.

PAN DOWN WITH GILLIGAN TO GROUND

				PROFESSOR
				 (O.S.)
			Gilligan?

				GILLIGAN
			Down here.

	The professor helps Gilligan off the ground.

PAN UP WITH PROFESSOR AND GILLIGAN

ZOOM IN FOR CLOSE UP OF PROFESSOR AND GILLIGAN

				PROFESSOR
			So you are. I am delighted that you 
			dropped by Gilligan. It gives me a 
			chance to talk to you. To appeal to your 
			reason. Your…your intellect!

				GILLIGAN
			Ok professor, appeal.

CUT TO: ANGLE ON PROFESSOR

				PROFESSOR
			There's a girl on this island to whom 
			victory would be, the pinnacle, the 
			attainment of all her unspoken dreams, 
			her unfulfilled desires. Do you know who 
			I'm talking about?

CUT TO: ANGLE ON GILLIGAN

				GILLIGAN
			I don't even know WHAT you're talking 
			about.

				PROFESSOR
			All right follow me Gilligan. 

CUT TO: ANGLE ON PROFESSOR

				PROFESSOR
			Now first there's Ginger. Well she's 
			made her mark in the world. For the rest 
			of her life she can talk about her 
			fabulous career.

CUT TO: ANGLE ON GILLIGAN 

				PROFESSOR
			Now consider Mrs. Howell. She's got her 
			fabulous Husband. And then, there is 
			Mary Ann. 


CUT TO: ANGLE ON PROFESSOR

				PROFESSOR
			Pretty, sweet, little Mary Ann. Now what 
			does she have that could be considered 
			really and truly fabulous?

CUT TO: ANGLE ON GILLIGAN

				GILLIGAN
			Her butterfly collection?

				PROFESSOR
			Oh try to understand Gilligan.

CUT TO: ANGLE ON PROFESSOR

				PROFESSOR
			Mary Ann needs to be miss castaway as 
			the other two couldn't possibly. And you 
			can do this for her Gilligan. 

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF PROFESSOR AND GILLIGAN

				PROFESSOR
			You MUST do this for her.

				GILLIGAN
			I guess you're right professor. Mary Ann 
			deserves to win.

	The professor, satisfied Gilligan will vote for 
	Mary Ann, puts his arm around him and smiles.

				PROFESSOR
			Ahhhhhh, what a lovely fellow.

FLIP TO: EXT – JUNGLE – DAY – LATER

EXTREME CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN

PULL BACK TO REVEAL GILLIGAN AND GLADYS ON LOG

	Gilligan is sitting on a log along with Gladys, 
	talking to her about the beauty contest.

				GILLIGAN
			You see on one hand the skipper's right, 
			and Ginger should win. And on the other 
			hand, the professor's right and Mary Ann 
			should win. Oh what a spot. Only an 
			idiot would get himself in a spot like 
			this.

	Gladys starts making loud whoops and arm 
	movements as if to say you're right, you are and 
	idiot.  Mr. Howell can be seen approaching them 
	from behind.

				GILLIGAN
			What!? I don't know, there must be an 
			answer to the problem somewhere.

	Mr. Howell come up from behind and makes Gladys 
	get off the log. Mr. Howell sits down right where 
	Gladys was sitting, next to Gilligan. Gilligan 
	doesn't see the switch.

				GILLIGAN
			Well, I don't know. I wish somebody'd 
			tell me what to do.

				MR HOWELL
			I'd be very happy to tell you my boy.

				GILLIGAN
			Thanks.

	Gilligan's eyes open wide as he thinks Gladys 
	is talking to him and turns to look at her. 
	He sees Mr. Howell and lets out a scream and 
	leaps off the log. He scares Mr. Howell with 
	his scream, who in turn screams himself.

PAN UP WITH GILLIGAN FOR CLOSE UP

				GILLIGAN 
			Ahhhh!

				MR HOWELL
				 (O.S.)
			Ahh!

				GILLIGAN
			       (RELEAVED)
			Oh, it's you Mr. Howell.

	Mr. Howell walks in frame for close up.

				MR HOWELL
			Gilligan, I'm a man of few words. What 
			will it cost to get your vote? A yacht? 
			A villa on the Riviera? Controlling 
			interest in the Golden Gate Bridge? Hum?

				GILLIGAN
			Mr. Howell you're trying to bribe a judge!

				MR HOWELL
			Eh…no no no! I was just a, testing your 
			honesty and may I say you came through 
			with flying colors!

				GILLIGAN
			And you're not trying to influence me?

				MR HOWELL
			Oh no no! Cherish the thought. Lets a, 
			sit down and chat awhile shall we?

	They both sit back down on the log.

PAN DOWN WITH GILLIGAN AND MR HOWELL TO LOG

				GILLIGAN
			Ok, what about?

				MR HOWELL
			Mrs. Howell of course.

				GILLIGAN
			Oh, what's her problem?

				MR HOWELL
			Any woman's most cherished possession, 
			her pride. 

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN AND MR HOWELL

				MR HOWELL
			I mean look at it this way. Mrs. Howell, 
			a woman of renowned, competing in an 
			ordinary contest like that. It isn't 
			fair. It isn't equitable. It isn't a, 
			Democratic if you'll pardon the 
			expression. Now suppose your own mother 
			was running against Tuesday Weld?

CUT TO: NEW ANGLE FAVORING GILLIGAN

				GILLIGAN
			Tuesday Weld!?

(Transcribers note: Tuesday Weld was an actress from the late 
fifties and early sixties. She even played in "The Many Loves 
of Dobie Gillis" with Bob Denver)

				MR HOWELL
			Who would you vote for?

	Gilligan leaps up off the log.

PAN UP WITH GILLIGAN FOR CLOSE UP

				GILLIGAN
			I choose mom! I choose mom!

	Mr. Howell walks in frame for close up.

				MR HOWELL
			You're absolutely right! And a vote for 
			Mrs. Howell, is a vote for those ladies 
			that deserve our recognition, the 
			American WIFE, and American mother, and 
			private enterprise. Gilligan, are you an 
			American?

	Gilligan gets patriotic and gives a two-finger salute.

				GILLIGAN
			Yes sir! And I vote for Mrs. Howell.

				MR HOWELL
			Three if you don't mind.

	Gilligan corrects his salute.

				GILLIGAN
			Three.

	Mr. Howell, also satisfied that Gilligan will 
	vote his way, starts a drum and fife rendition of 
	Yankee Doodle using his riding crop as a fife. We 
	follow him as he walks off camera leaving Gilligan alone.

				GILLIGAN
			On one had there's Ginger. On the other 
			hand there's Mary Ann. Looks like I'm 
			gonna need another hand for Mrs. Howell.

FADE TO: EXT – JUNGLE CLEARING – EVENING

MEDIUM SHOT OF PROFESSOR ON STAGE

	The professor is standing in front of a makeshift 
	curtain made of sewn together clothes.

				PROFESSOR
			Thank you, thank you, thank you. And 
			welcome ladies and gentlemen, to the 
			first annual, Miss Castaway contest!

	Everyone starts yelling, clapping and whistling 
	with excitement as the professor pulls back the 
	curtain revealing the three contestants.

CUT TO: WIDE SHOT OF PROFESSOR ON STAGE WITH MARY ANN, GINGER 
AND MRS HOWELL IN BG

				PROFESSOR
			The lovely contestants are, number one,…

	The professor starts the music.

				(CONTINUED)
			Miss, Mary Ann!

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER AND MR HOWELL

	They're quietly clapping and watching with little interest.

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF MARY ANN ON RUNWAY

	Mary Ann walks out and proceeds to walk down the 
	runway. The professor is the only one really 
	clapping for her.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN

	Gilligan is sitting at his judge's table looking 
	not very interested.

				PROFESSOR
				 (O.S.)
			That's lovely dear.

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF MARY ANN ON STAGE 

	Mary Ann has finished her walk, and goes to sit down.

				PROFESSOR
			Number TWO! Ginger.

	Ginger makes her way out onto the runway as did 
	Mary Ann. Only the skipper seems excited about 
	her being there and starts whistling and clapping.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER AND MR HOWELL

				SKIPPER
			That a girl Ginger, come on!!

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF GINGER ON STAGE

	Ginger walks towards the camera, turns, and walks 
	back down the runway.

				SKIPPER
				(O.S.)
			Oh boy! Boy you look wonderful Ginger!

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN
	
	He's still not looking too interested.

				PROFESSOR
				 (O.S.)
			And a, last but not least.

CUT TO: WIDE SHOT OF STAGE

				PROFESSOR
			Mrs. Thurston Howell the third.

	Mrs. Howell takes to the runway. 

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER AND MR HOWELL

				MR HOWELL
			Ah Bravo! 

CUT TO: PREVIOUS SHOT

	Mrs. Howell is walking rather quickly and not 
	to the music.

				MR HOWELL
				 (O.S.)
			Bravo Mrs. Howell. 

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER AND MR HOWELL

				MR HOWELL
			Never mind the tempo darling you're 
			above it you're a Howell.

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF MRS HOWELL ON STAGE

	Mrs. Howell turns and walks back down the runway 
	towards the stage. 

				MR HOWELL
				 (O.S.)
			There we go.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN
	
	He's still watching with disinterest.

				MR HOWELL
				 (O.S.)
			Bravo! 

CUT TO: PREVIOUS SHOT

				MR HOWELL
				 (O.S.)
			Graceful!

				PROFESSOR
			Thank you.

	Mrs. Howell finishes and sits back down.

				MR HOWELL
				 (O.S.)
			Bravo!

FLIP TO: EXT – JUNGLE CLEAR – NIGHT - LATER

WIDE SHOT OF PROFESSOR ON STAGE

				PROFESSOR
			And now the next event, worth twenty-
			five points, for charm, poise and 
			sincerity.

	Everyone claps and the skipper whistles as the 
	professor pulls open the curtain, again revealing 
	the three contestants.

				PROFESSOR
			The first contestant, miss Mary Ann.

	Mary Ann gets up and stands before the judge and 
	spectators.

				PROFESSOR
			Now you just relax dear, and you tell…
 
 CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF PROFESSOR AND MARY ANN

				(CONTINUED)
			…us in your own sweet charming simple 
			way, what it is, that you want most,…

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN

	He's patiently waiting for Mary Ann to start.

				PROFESSOR
				 (O.S.)
			…out of life.

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF MARY ANN ON STAGE

	Mary Ann clears her throat, takes a deep breath 
	and begins.

CUT TO: EXTREME CLOSE UP OF MARY ANN

				MARY ANN
			I would like a world without strife 
			universal harmony international 
			goodwill, where the sp…spirit of 
			brotherhood enriches all of mankind 
			forever thank you.

	The professor is the only one who claps.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER AND MR HOWELL

				MR HOWELL
			Oooo how revolting.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF PROFESSOR AND MARY ANN

				PROFESSOR
			Thank you, thank you Mary Ann, for that, 
			sincere, unselfish, and unrehearsed 
			speech. Thank you dear.

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF PROFESSOR AND MARY ANN ON STAGE

				PROFESSOR
			Please be seated. (pause)
			And now, for contestant number two.

	The skipper starts his clapping and whistling.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER AND MR HOWELL

				SKIPPER
			Ginger! Come on!!

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF PROFESSOR ON STAGE WITH WOMEN IN BG

				PROFESSOR
			Will you wait please until I introduce 
			her!?

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER AND MR HOWELL

				SKIPPER
			I already know ginger. Come on Ginger! 
			Go go!

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF STAGE WITH ALL PRESENT

				PROFESSOR
			All right then. Miss Ginger.

	Ginger steps up for her speech.

				GINGER
			Thank you. (pause)
			First of all, I'd like to thank all of 
			you wonderful people, for allowing me to 
			be in this WONDERFUL contest. 

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN

	He's taking notes on a sheet of paper.

				GINGER
				(O.S.)
			It really is a wonderful experience,…

CUT TO: PREVIOUS SHOT

				GINGER
			…an…and it…jus…just makes a girl feel 
			wonderful.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER AND MR HOWELL

				SKIPPER
			Wonderful!

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF GINGER

				GINGER
			Second of all, I'd like to thank all of 
			you marvelous people, for allowing me to 
			be in this MARVELOUS contest. It really 
			is a marvelous experience, and it makes 
			a girl feel marvelous!

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER AND MR HOWELL

				SKIPPER
			Marvelous! Marvelous!

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF GINGER AND PROFESSOR ON STAGE

				GINGER
			Thirdly…

				PROFESSOR
			Thank you very much Ginger.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GINGER

				GINGER
			I…I'm not finished yet. For allowing me 
			to be in this terrific contest…

	The professor walks in frame.

				PROFESSOR
			Ginger your time…

CUT TO: WIDE SHOT OF STAGE WITH ALL PRESENT

	The professor starts pushing Ginger off stage.

				PROFESSOR
			…is up!

				GINGER
			It really is a terrific experience, and 
			it makes…

				PROFESSOR
			Thank you very much.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER AND MR HOWELL

				SKIPPER
			Terrific! Terrific!

	The skipper keeps whistling.

CUT TO: WIDE SHOT OF STAGE WITH ALL PRESENT

				PROFESSOR
			And now, for our third contestant, Mrs. 
			Thurston Howell, the third.

	Mrs. Howell makes her way on stage to address the 
	audience and judge.

				MR HOWELL
				 (O.S.)
			Bravo! Bravo! 

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER AND MR HOWELL

				MR HOWELL
			Bravo! 

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF MRS HOWELL

				MRS HOWELL
			I'm not going to make an, unrehearsed 
			speech, or a speech that's, WONDERFUL! 
			MARVELOUS! TERRIFIC! I'm just going to 
			say, thank you judge, for being the son 
			of an American mother.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN

	Gilligan looks happy but yet a bit embarrassed.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF MR HOWELL AND SKIPPER

				MR HOWELL
			Bravo! Bravo! More! Encore! Author!

CUT TO: WIDE SHOT OF OF PROFESSOR ON STAGE WITH WOMEN IN BG

				PROFESSOR
			Thank you. (pause)
			And now there will be a five-minute 
			break, for a costume change, before we 
			commence with the talent competition. 
			Thank you.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN

	He's writing some more on his paper.

	The skipper starts up his whistling again.

				MR HOWELL
				 (O.S.)
			Very good.

				SKIPPER
				(O.S.)
			Good show!

FLIP TO: EXT – JUNGLE CLEARING – NIGHT

WIDE SHOT OF PROFESSOR ON STAGE

	The professor is on stage to make the 
	introductions.

				PROFESSOR
			And now, to open the talent competition, 
			Mary Ann will perform a soft shoe dance.

	This time the skipper and Mr. Howell applaud for 
	Mary Ann and the skipper even starts to whistle. 

				SKIPPER
			Yea!

				MR HOWELL
			Very lovely.

	The professor pulls back the curtain and then 
	tries to get the phonograph to work.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF PROFESSOR AND PHONOGRAPH

	He's trying to get it to work.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER AND MR HOWELL

				SKIPPER
			What's the matter professor? You having 
			trouble with the phonograph!?

CUT TO: PREVIOUS SHOT

				PROFESSOR
			Ah, just a moment.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER AND MR HOWELL

				SKIPPER
			Here I'll help ya.

PULL BACK TO MEDIUM SHOT OF SKIPPER AND MR HOWELL

	The skipper gets up and just about steps in a 
	bucket.

CUT TO: EXTREME CLOSE UP OF BUCKET

	The bucket is clearly labeled "GLUE"

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF SKIPPER AND MR HOWELL

				SKIPPER
			Almost stepped in the glue!

	He steps around the glue and walks off camera as 
	Mr. Howell hatches an idea.

CUT TO: EXTREME CLOSE UP OF MR HOWELL
 
	He mouths the word glue.

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF MR HOWELL 

PAN LEFT WITH MR HOWELL TO STAGE

	He gets up and takes the bucket of glue. He 
	starts to pour out the glue on stage.

CUT TO: EXTREME CLOSE UP OF GLUE POURED FROM BUCKET

	We see Mr. Howell places a large puddle of glue 
	on the stage floor.

CUT TO: PREVIOUS SHOT

PAN RIGHT WITH MR HOWELL TO SEAT

	Mr. Howell sits back down as if nothing happened.

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF PROFESSOR AND SKIPPER

	The skipper helps the professor get the 
	phonograph to work.

				PROFESSOR
			All right take your seats please.

	The skipper walks off camera.

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF SKIPPER AND MR HOWELL

	The skipper sits back down.

CUT TO: WIDE SHOT OF STAGE WITH ALL PRESENT

	The music starts as Mary Ann begins her soft shoe 
	dance number. She walks out on stage and begins 
	her routine. 

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN

	He's smiling as she starts her routine.

CUT TO: WIDE SHOT OF MARY ANN ON STAGE

	Mary Ann keeps dancing to the music.

CUT TO: EXTREME CLOSE UP OF GLUE PUDDLE ON STAGE

CUT TO: LOW ANGLE CLOSE UP OF MARY ANN'S LEGS

	As she steps along, her foot plops right n the 
	middle of the glue puddle and gets stuck. 

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF MARY ANN

	Mary Ann looks off camera at her foot and looks 
	perplexed.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF MARY ANN'S FOOT IN GLUE

	As she tries to free her foot, the glue is long 
	and stringy as she raises her foot.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN

	He's looking on curiously off camera at Mary Ann.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER AND MR HOWELL

	They too watch off camera at Mary Ann as she 
	struggles.

CUT TO: WIDE SHOT OF MARY ANN ON STAGE

	She knows something's wrong but continues to try 
	and dance. It's obvious that it's not working and 
	she gives up. The professor runs to her aid.

				PROFESSOR
			Dear, what is the matter!?

				MARY ANN
			Oh I've never been so embarrassed in all 
			my whole life! Look!

CUT TO: EXTREME CLOSE UP OF MARY ANN'S FOOT IN GLUE

				PROFESSOR
				 (O.S.)
			Wha…what what is that!?

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER AND MR HOWELL

				SKIPPER
			Something wrong Mary Ann?

	The skipper gets up and walks off camera.

CUT TO CLOSE UP OF PROFESSOR AND MARY ANN

				MARY ANN
			Oh I don't know my shoe…

PULL BACK AS SKIPPER WALKS ON CAMERA

				SKIPPER
			What is it Mary Ann!? What is…

				MARY ANN
			Glue I guess!

				SKIPPER
			Glue!? 

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN

	He's writing on a piece of paper again.

				SKIPPER
				 (O.S.)
			For goodness sakes take your foot out of 
			your shoe!

CUT TO: PREVIOUS SHOT

				SKIPPER
			That's it.

	The professor knows who did it and storms off 
	towards Mr. Howell.

PAN RIGHT WITH PROFESSOR TO MR HOWELL FOR CLOSE UP

				PROFESSOR
			Mr. Howell! You put glue on that stage!

	Mr. Howell pats the professor's jacket as he speaks.

				MR HOWELL
			Oh man now where would I get glue.

	Mr. Howell sees glue on the professor, which came 
	from his hand.

				MR HOWELL
			I mean, eh…eh…eh something in a forty, 
			you need a new tailor there…

				PROFESSOR
			Mr. Howell two can play at that game!

PAN LEFT WITH PROFESSOR TO STAGE

	The professor storms up on stage to announce the 
	next contestant.

				PROFESSOR
			Mrs. Thurston Howell the Third will now 
			recite a dramatic poem!

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER AND MR HOWELL

				MR HOWELL
			Bravo! Bravo!

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF MRS HOWELL ON STAGE

				MR HOWELL
				 (O.S.)
			Bravo! Bravo!

				MRS HOWELL
			Paul Revere's Ride. (pause)
			Now listen my children and you shall 
			hear,…

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF PROFESSOR

	He's upset and searching for something. He finds 
	a peppershaker on a table and gets an idea.

				(CONTINUED)
				  (O.S.)
			…of the midnight ride of Paul Revere. On 
			the eighteenth of April in seventy-five, 
			hardly a man is now alive.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF MRS HOWELL WITH SKIPPER AND MR HOWELL IN BG

				MRS HOWELL
			Who remembers that famous day and year. 
			He said to his friend if, if,…

				MR HOWELL
				(SOTTO)
			The British march. If the British march! 
			Hup two three!

				SKIPPER
			Mr. Howell no coaching from the audience!

				MRS HOWELL
			If the British march from town tonight, 
			by land and, or by sea. Hang a…

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF PROFESSOR

	He shakes pepper into his hand and blows it in 
	Mrs. Howells direction.

				MRS HOWELL
				 (O.S.)
			…lantern HIGH in the north church,…

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF MRS HOWELL ON STAGE

				(CONTINUED)
			…tower for the signal… (sneezes)! 

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN

	He looks up after hearing Mrs. Howell sneeze.

				MRS HOWELL
				 (O.S.)
			Ah…choo!

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF MRS HOWELL ON STAGE

				MRS HOWELL
			Excuse me. Light,…

CUT TO: CLOSE UP PROFESSOR

	He shakes more pepper in his hand and blows.

			       (CONTINUED)
				  (O.S.)
			…one if by land,…

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF MRS HOWELL ON STAGE

			        (CONTINED)
			…two if by…(sneezes), (sneezes), if by 
			sea, and I,…

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF PROFESSOR

	Once again he blows pepper at Mrs. Howell.

			        (CONTINUED)
				  (O.S.)
			…on the opposite shore…

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF MRS HOWELL ON STAGE

			        (CONTINUED)
			…will be ready to…(Sneezes), 

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF MR HOWELL

	Mr. Howell watches his wife go through sneezing fits.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF MRS HOWELL ON STAGE

				MRS HOWELL
			Oh I can't do this anymore!(sneezes), 
			(sneezes).

	Mrs. Howell has run off stage sneezing violently

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF PROFESSOR

PAN RIGHT WITH PROFESSOR TO STAGE

				PROFESSOR
			Thank you very much, Mrs. Howell.

	Mr. Howell runs on camera.

				MR HOWELL
			You had something to do with this and 
			don't try and tell me that you didn't!

				PROFESSOR
			Why I haven't the slightest idea what 
			you're talking about.

				MR HOWELL
			Well I think…

	Skipper runs on camera.

				SKIPPER
			I'll tell ya what you both did! You just 
			canceled yourselves out of the 
			competition! Hah! Well I guess we know 
			who's girl is gonna win now!

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN

	Once again he's writing something on a piece of paper.

				PROFESSOR
				  (O.S.)
			I'll see about that!

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF PROFESSOR, SKIPPER AND MR HOWELL

				SKIPPER
			Why don't you two just sit down!

	The professor and Mr. Howell walk off camera 
	leaving the skipper on stage and happy.

				SKIPPER
			And now for the final contestant n the 
			talent competition, Miss Ginger!

	The skipper starts the phonograph.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN

	He's just sitting looking bored

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GINGER ON STAGE WITH SKIPPER IN BG

	Ginger comes from around the curtain in a 
	provocative way as the music begins. 

				GINGER
			Let me, entertain you. 

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF GINGER ON STAGE WITH SKIPPER IN BG

				GINGER
			Let me…

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN

	He's looking a bit embarrassed.

			     (CONTINUED)
				(O.S.)
			…make you smile. 

CUT TO: WIDE SHOT OF GINGER ON STAGE WITH SKIPPER IN BG 
AND GILLIGAN IN FG

				GINGER
			Let me do a few tricks. Some old and 
			then some new tricks. I'm Very 
			versatile. Ooooo. 

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF PROFESSOR AND MR HOWELL

	Mr. Howell takes out a couple of drinking straws 
	he plans on using as blowguns. He sees the 
	professor watching him and gives him one.

			     (CONTINUED)
				(O.S.)
			And if you're real good, I'll make you 
			fell good,…

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GINGER ON STAGE

			     (CONTINUED)
 			…I want your spirits to climb, 

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN

	Gilligan has an icky look on his face.

			     (CONTINUED)
				(O.S.)
			Ooooo. Let me entertain you.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF PROFESSOR AND MR HOWELL

	The professor lets loose with a high speed spit 
	wad. He strikes Ginger making her flinch and 
	squeal.

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF GINGER

				GINGER
			Oooo! 

	Ginger turns on the runway and continues her song 
	and dance. 

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN

	He has a surprised look on his face after she 
	squeals.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GINGER ON STAGE

	She continues as she walks towards the stage.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF PROFESSOR AND MR HOWELL

	They let loose again.

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF GINGER ON STAGE

	As the wads hit her, she squeals.

				GINGER
			Ooo! Ooo!

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF PROFESSOR AND MR HOWELL

	They let loose a volley of shots, each one 
	finding its mark.

CUT TO: WIDE SHOT OF GINGE ON STAGE WITH SKIPPER IN BG 
AND GILLIGAN IN FG

	She's getting pelted with spit wads and can't 
	continued her routine.

				GINGER
 			Ooo! Oooo! Ooo! Oooo! Ooo!

	She runs off stage as she's still being shot at. 

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF PROFESSOR AND MR HOWELL

				MR HOWELL
			We're even Steven.

	Mr. Howell and the professor shake hands. Mr. 
	Howell takes the straw from professor.

				MR HOWELL
			Give me back the weapon.

FADE TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN

	Gilligan is sitting at his table with all his 
	paper as he finishes making his selection.

				GILLIGAN
			Ok I'm ready.

				SKIPPER
			All right little buddy get up on the 
			stage and announce it little shipmate.

PAN RIGHT WITH GILLIGAN TO STAGE

MEDIUM SHOT OF GILLIGAN WITH GIRLS STANDING IN BG

				MR HOWELL
			Upsa daisy!

				GILLIGAN
			You ladies my be seated.
	
	The three women take their assigned seats.

				GILLIGAN
			First of all I'd like to say all the 
			ladies are very beautiful, and each one 
			deserves to win.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER, MR HOWELL AND PROFESSOR

				MR HOWELL
			Oh, very charmingly said.

				SKIPPER
			Never mind that now Gilligan! Who won!

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF GILLIGAN AND GIRLS SEATED IN BG

				GILLIGAN
			With all due respect to candidate number 
			one, and candidate number two, and 
			candidate number three, my deciding vote 
			goes to, candidate number, four!

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GINGER, MRS HOWELL AND MARY ANN

				ALL THREE
			Four!

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER, MR HOWELL AND PROFESSOR

				MR HOWELL
			Well there were only three candidates 
			not four you fool!

				SKIPPER
			What are you talking about Gilligan!?

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN ON STAGE

				GILLIGAN
			I had my own candidate.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER, MR HOWELL AND PROFESSOR

				SKIPPER
			You had your own contest!?

				PROFESSOR
			What!? You had what!?

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN ON STAGE

				GILLIGAN
			Here I'll show you. (pause)
			Miss Castaway!?

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF STAGE CURTAIN

	Gladys the ape runs on stage and flips up Mary 
	Ann's skirt as she passes. She's got on a Miss 
	Castaway banner that reads QUEEN across her body.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER, MR HOWELL AND PROFESSOR

				MR HOWELL
			I've never seen anything like it in my 
			life!

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF MRS HOWELL, GINGER AND MARY ANN

				MRS HOWELL
			A monkey!?

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GLADYS

	Gladys goes ape again with whoops and arm gestures.

PAN LEFT/PULL BACK WITH GLADYS TO GILLIGAN

MEDIUM SHOT OF GILLIGAN, GLADYS AND GIRLS IN BG

				MARY ANN
			You think she's prettier than we are!?

				MRS HOWELL
			And you call yourself an American!?

				GILLIGAN
			Well that's just it Mrs. Howell. We're 
			all Americans except her.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER, MR HOWELL AND PROFESSOR

				MR HOWELL
			Well what's that got to do with it!?

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF GILLIGAN, GLADYS AND GIRLS IN BG

				GILLIGAN
			Well, to enter a beauty contest you have 
			to be a native, and she's the only one 
			born on the island.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER, MR HOWELL AND PROFESSOR

				PROFESSOR
			Well he's got a point there.

CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT OF GILLIGAN, GLADYS AND GIRLS IN BG

				GILLIGAN
			And besides, if I picked one of the 
			ladies I'd get in trouble.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF SKIPPER, MR HOWELL AND PROFESSOR

				SKIPPER
			Well he's got a point there too!

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN

				GILLIGAN
			And if I pick Gladys I can't get into 
			any trouble.

CUT TO: WIDE SHOT OF STAGE

	Just then Gladys makes her way towards Gilligan 
	and picks him up and puts him over her shoulder.

				GILLIGAN
			I don't think so!? Wooooe!

	Gladys takes Gilligan off stage and off camera as 
	the others watch on as we…

								FADE OUT








				EPILOG

FADE IN

EXT – JUNGLE CLEARING – NIGHT

MEDIUM SHOT OF GILLIGAN ON RUNWAY

	Gilligan is seated at the end of the runway 
	gathering up all the papers he'd been writing on 
	throughout the contest. The skipper, Mr. Howell 
	and professor are seen walking out of the jungle 
	and into the clearing.  They make their way over 
	to Gilligan.

ZOOM IN FOR CLOSE UP OF GROUP

				SKIPPER
			Gilligan little buddy! How 'bout telling 
			us who really won the contest!

				GILLIGAN
			I already told you, Gladys.

				MR HOWELL
			Come on come on we're friends, just for 
			the record show us who won on points.

				GILLIGAN
			No one no one!

				PROFESSOR
			Well with all those notes you been 
			making, someone must have been ahead!

	Gilligan refuses to let the men see the papers. 
	They all start to grab frantically at the papers.

			 PROFESSOR AND MR HOWELL
			Come on!

				SKIPPER
			Let me see!

				GILLIGAN
			They're mine! I don't want you to see!

	They finally get a hold of some of the papers 
	starts to read.

				SKIPPER
			Tic Tac Toe!?

				MR HOWELL
			They're all covered with Tic Tac Toe's!

CUT TO: CLOSE UP OF GILLIGAN

				GILLIGAN
			I didn't want ya to see I lost every 
			game.

	The skipper, Professor and Mr. Howell dump the 
	papers they have over Gilligan's head. Gilligan 
	is left looking embarrassed as we…


			
								FADE OUT




				END CREDITS


GILLIGAN'S ISLAND
"Beauty Is As Beauty Does"   
AD.  09/23/65