TEASER

FADE IN:

EXT. SIGNAL PLATFORM - DAY

PAN ON GILLIGAN

as he walks at the edge of the lagoon and carries a bamboo pole toward the under-construction SIGNAL TOWER PLATFORM. Skipper works on the platform. Gilligan places the pole on the platform and climbs the ladder to the platform Skipper works on. Skipper knots a vine to secure a pole. Gilligan taps Skipper on the shoulder.

GILLIGAN

Skipper, I sure hope we finish the signal platform before the Navy ships go by.

SKIPPER

Gilligan, according to the radio report, the Navy will hold their maneuvers day after tomorrow.

GILLIGAN

Yeah, and they gotta go right by here.

SKIPPER

Exactly. So we shall build a signal fire and they shall come in and rescue us because I will have given them semaphore.

GILLIGAN

Ah, yeah.

SKIPPER

Now, keep busy. Get some more vines, Gilligan. Thank you.

GILLIGAN

Yes, aye-aye, sir. Aye-aye.

Gilligan jumps off the platform. Skipper tightens other vines.

GILLIGAN

searches in the nearby jungle for more vines. He finds one vine and tugs on it, but it doesn't come loose. He finds another vine and tugs on it.

BAMBOO SUPPORT

is on the other end of the vine tugged by Gilligan.

GILLIGAN

continues to tug on the second vine. It doesn't come loose, so he tugs harder. A final tug breaks it free.

BAMBOO SUPPORT

previously held by the vine, tips.

SKIPPER

is struck by the falling bamboo support. It conks him square on the head. Skipper's cap falls to the ground and he tumbles to the ground after it.

BACK TO SCENE

Gilligan follows the vine back to the platform and passes Skipper knocked out and lying unconscious on the ground. Gilligan drops the vine and turns to Skipper. Gilligan kneels down next to Skipper.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Hey, Skipper? Skipper, what are you doing down here?

(pats Skipper's cheek)

You're supposed to be up there working. Come on, no napping. Wake up.

Gilligan pats Skipper's cheek to rouse him.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Come on, Skipper.

(to himself)

Must have fainted from exhaustion.

(to Skipper)

Skipper?

Gilligan pats Skipper's cheek again.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

I hate to do this, but you said we had to finish our work. So ...

Gilligan moves to the lagoon edge and uses his hat to scoop up water. He returns to Skipper and dumps the water on his face.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

... here goes.

Skipper awakens and sputters. He shakes his head. He feels the back of his head where he was struck by the falling bamboo support. Skipper sits up and feels the back of his head again.

SKIPPER

What happened? I--I'm soaking wet.

GILLIGAN

It was a flash storm. It's all over now.

SKIPPER

Oh, thanks. Wait a minute. Who are you?

GILLIGAN

Who am I? That's pretty funny.

SKIPPER

And who am I?

GILLIGAN

Who are you? Skipper, you're the skipper, Skipper.

SKIPPER

Skipper? Skipper who?

GILLIGAN

Skip--? Skipper, do you feel all right? I mean, are you okay?

SKIPPER

Will you stop calling me "Skipper"? Where am I?

GILLIGAN

(to himself, puzzled)

Where are you?

(to Skipper)

If you don't know, I'm not gonna second-guess you. I better go get the Professor. He's very good at who's who.

Gilligan exits.

FADE OUT.

END OF TEASER

ACT ONE

FADE IN:

EXT. GILLIGAN'S ISLAND - ESTABLISHING SHOT - DAY

EXT. CAMP - DAY

Gilligan runs from the jungle into camp. Professor sits at the dinging table and works on the radio with a screwdriver. Skipper follows Gilligan into camp.

GILLIGAN

Hey, Professor? Hey, Professor? Something terrible has happened to the Skipper. Something really terrible.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

I was vining picks so we could finish platforming signals so I could semaphore the Navy, when he--See?

PROFESSOR

Skipper, You're just in time. I think something's wrong with Gilligan.

SKIPPER

Who's Gilligan?

GILLIGAN

It's me! Don't you remember your little buddy?

SKIPPER

I don't have any little buddy.

PROFESSOR

How'd he get wet?

GILLIGAN

I had to dump some water on him. This all happened when he took his nap. Maybe he's sleepwalking.

PROFESSOR

I see. Skipper, I think you and I

ought to have a little talk.

SKIPPER

Well, who are you?

PROFESSOR

What do you mean? I'm the Professor. Is something wrong with you?

SKIPPER

I feel fine. But, why do you two keep calling me the Skipper?

PROFESSOR

Because you are the Skipper. Don't you remember the Minnow, and how we got lost at sea, and shipwrecked on this island?

Skipper does not recall any of it. His expression is blank.

PROFESSOR (cont'd)

Doesn't any of this ring a bell?

SKIPPER

Not even a tinkle.

Professor stands.

PROFESSOR

I see. Perhaps you'd better sit down.

Professor grasps Skipper's arm near the elbow.

SKIPPER

Why, I don't feel tired.

PROFESSOR

All right then, stand up.

SKIPPER

Now, well, thank you.

Skipper sits down at the dining table. Professor pulls Gilligan off to the side.

PROFESSOR

Gilligan?

GILLIGAN

Yeah?

PROFESSOR

I think the Skipper's got amnesia.

GILLIGAN

Am-what-ia?

PROFESSOR

Amnesia. That's when people can't remember anything at all.

GILLIGAN

Oh, that can't be too serious. That happens to me all the time.

PROFESSOR

Now it's happened to the Skipper.

He keeps rubbing his head. Could you have hit him with something?

GILLIGAN

Oh, no, hitting the Skipper's a court-martial offense. I'd be hung.

SKIPPER

Not if it were an accident.

GILLIGAN

Oh. Well, I remember pulling a vine, and a pole fell down. Then he took his nap.

PROFESSOR

Now, that's what must have happened.

GILLIGAN

Will he ever remember to stop forgetting?

PROFESSOR

Too early to tell. You'd better take him on back to his hut. I'm going to check this out in my medical book.

Professor exits.

GILLIGAN

(to himself)

Gee, it's all my fault. I'll never forgive myself unless I lose my memory.

Gilligan taps Skipper on the shoulder.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Sir? Sir? Would you mind coming with me, sir?

Gilligan takes Skipper by the arm.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Right this way.

Gilligan guides Skipper away from the dining table toward the boys hut.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT./EXT. BOYS HUT - DAY

Gilligan guides Skipper to their hut. Gilligan opens the door and allows Skipper to enter first.

GILLIGAN

You can rest here for a while. I used to share this hut with a buddy.

SKIPPER

Oh? What happened to him?

GILLIGAN

You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

SKIPPER

Oh, sure I would.

Skipper looks around the hut.

GILLIGAN

He forgot himself.

SKIPPER

Ah, I don't believe it.

GILLIGAN

See, I told you.

Skipper touches the top of a cabinet and finds dust on his hand.

SKIPPER

Look at this. Dust all over the place. Whoever used to live here was a real slob.

They move to the hammocks.

GILLIGAN

I wouldn't say that.

SKIPPER

I would.

GILLIGAN

Maybe you know better.

Socks hang on the hammock support ropes.

SKIPPER

Look at this. Socks all over the place.

(picks a sock)

Look at the size of those holes in the socks.

GILLIGAN

Well, he had big feet.

SKIPPER

He should've kept them in his big shoes.

Skipper replaces the sock. He continues to explore the hut. Skipper trips on Skipper's footlocker.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

What's this pile of junk doing in the middle of the floor?

Skipper bends down and picks up the footlocker.

GILLIGAN

Junk? That's--that's my buddy's sea chest. He has all his valuable possessions in there.

Skipper places the footlocker on a table and opens it. The first item he removes is a newspaper clipping.

SKIPPER

What's this a picture of? The back of a mule?

GILLIGAN

No, that's my buddy in a football huddle.

Gilligan places the newspaper clipping back in the footlocker and removes a white captain's cap.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

That's his favorite hat. It's just about your size.

Gilligan removes Skipper's black cap and replaces it with the white one.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Here, try it on. Look here. Look. Look in there. See?

Gilligan points to a mirror on the wall. Skipper walks over to the mirror.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

See? Does that remind you of anything?

SKIPPER

It sure does.

GILLIGAN

Yeah?

SKIPPER

It reminds me I need a haircut.

Skipper laughs.

FLIP TO:

EXT. CAMP - DAY

Mary Ann hangs laundry on a clothesline. Gilligan and Skipper enter. The oil drum washing machine is covered by clothes. Mary Ann moves to the washing machine to pick up the next garment to hang.

MARY ANN

Hi, Gilligan. Hi, Skipper.

SKIPPER

Howdy, ma'am.

Mary Ann is puzzled by Skipper's greeting.

MARY ANN

"Howdy, ma'am"? Well, that's a silly thing to say. I'm not a ma'am.

GILLIGAN

To the Skipper you are. He lost his memory.

MARY ANN

He did? Oh, my gosh! I better tell the Professor.

Mary Ann tosses the garment to Gilligan. Mary Ann exits.

GILLIGAN

No, wait. I already told the Professor. Mary Ann! Mary Ann!

Gilligan runs past the washing machine and toss the garment on top. He chases after Mary Ann and exits. Ginger enters with an armful of laundry and bumps into Skipper.

GINGER

Hi, Skipper.

SKIPPER

Well, hi, beautiful. Hey, Honey, what's your name?

GINGER

Well, Ginger, big boy. What's yours?

Ginger moves to the clothesline to hang a towel.

SKIPPER

I don't care what my name is now.

Skipper approaches Ginger from the back and kisses her neck.

GINGER

Skipper, are you all right?

SKIPPER

I'm fine, and may I say, you're a bit of all right yourself.

Startled by Skipper's unusual advances, Ginger quickly moves to the other side of the clothesline.

GINGER

Oh, Skipper, that's not like you.

SKIPPER

Well, I don't know what I used to be like, but I like what I'm like now!

Skipper lifts the clothesline and moves to the other side of the clothesline while Ginger moves to the opposite side.

GINGER

Oh. Oh, I know what it is. Your sailor's blood is finally coming to a boil, huh?

SKIPPER

It's about time.

Skipper lifts the clothesline and moves to the other side of the clothesline while Ginger moves to the opposite side.

GINGER

Wait a minute. I mean, after all, you're our leader. A man above men.

SKIPPER

I don't know what type I am, but you're my type!

Skipper laughs and lifts the clothesline again. Ginger dodges under it, but Skipper did not move to the other side. He grabs Ginger and hugs her. Professor enters.

GINGER

Professor!

Skipper kisses Ginger's neck.

PROFESSOR

Skipper! Skipper!

Professor separates them.

GINGER

Professor, what's happened to the Skipper?

PROFESSOR

Why, he's got amnesia. He can't remember a thing.

GINGER

Well, I wouldn't say that. There are a few things he hasn't forgot.

SKIPPER

Well, you're beautiful!

Skipper lunges at Ginger. She dives under the clothesline. Skipper catches his neck on the clothesline and springs backward toward Professor.

FLIP TO:

INT. HOWELLS HUT - DAY

Mr. Howell carries a suitcase to Mrs. Howell. She packs clothes in another suitcase.

MR HOWELL

Lovey, we have to hurry. The Navy's here and I want to be the first to be piped aboard.

Professor and Skipper are at the door. Professor moves the hanging beads to the side so Skipper can enter.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, it'll be so exciting to set foot on water again.

Skipper enters, followed by Professor.

PROFESSOR

Skipper, I'd like you to meet

Mister and Missus Howell.

MR HOWELL

My, aren't we formal today?

SKIPPER

I beg your pardon, what'd you say your name was?

MRS HOWELL

Oh, Skipper, you're playing games again.

PROFESSOR

Missus Howell, this is no game. The Skipper's lost his memory.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, I wonder if he left it here. It's hard to tell in all this mess. Do you think we could have packed it in the steamer trunk?

MR HOWELL

No, pay attention, Lovey. He's lost his memory. He doesn't know who he is.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, don't be silly. He's the captain. Aren't you the captain, Captain?

SKIPPER

I don't know who I am, lady.

MRS HOWELL

Aw, the poor man.

PROFESSOR

Yes, and besides that, he's the only one who knows how to signal those Navy ships.

MR HOWELL

Oh, good heavens! Captain, you always told me that you wanted a new ship.

SKIPPER

I did?

MR HOWELL

Yes, yes, you did. Now, if you remember who you are, I'll give you a hundred-foot yacht.

SKIPPER

I don't know.

MR HOWELL

Two hundred?

SKIPPER

I still don't know.

MR HOWELL

Three hundred?

(pause)

Four hundred?

MRS HOWELL

Oh, darling, there are times when financial promises don't mean a thing.

MR HOWELL

May J. P. Morgan have mercy on your soul!

SKIPPER

I'd like to try and help if somebody would just give me a clue.

MR HOWELL

But I gave you the answer. You are the Skipper!

SKIPPER

If I could only believe you. I am the Skipper.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. CAMP - NIGHT

Mr. Howell, Mrs. Howell, Ginger, and Mary Ann sit at the dining table. Torches light the area. Professor stands before them to summarize his medical book on amnesia.

PROFESSOR

And so, to sum up, amnesia is still a medical mystery. It could last a day, a week, or twenty years.

MARY ANN

Twenty years? We'll be too old to be rescued by then.

MRS HOWELL

There must be some cure. Couldn't we try alcohol rubs?

MR HOWELL

We've got to cure the Captain. He's our friend, he's our leader. Besides, he's the only one who can signal those ships.

PROFESSOR

On the other hand, Amnesia isn't hopeless. Anything can happen. Sometimes it'll clear up by itself.

MR. AND MRS. HOWELL

PROFESSOR (O.S.)

Sometimes a blow on the head will snap the victim right out of it again.

The Howells exchange conspiratorial glances.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. BOYS HUT - NIGHT

Skipper lies on the bottom hammock and Gilligan lies on the top hammock. Both men struggle to sleep.

SKIPPER

Hey, umm--

(taps Gillian)

What'd you say your name was again?

GILLIGAN

Gilligan, Skipper.

SKIPPER

Ah, well, okay, Gilligan Skipper, can--would you mind if we switched hammocks? I can't sleep in this lower one.

GILLIGAN

But you don't like the upper. You're afraid of heights.

SKIPPER

Oh, I don't know what you're talking about. Down here, I feel like I'm sinking into quicksand.

GILLIGAN

Okay, let me sink. I'm lighter.

SKIPPER

Thanks.

Gilligan rolls out of the upper hammock. Skipper rolls out of the lower hammock on the opposite side. Gilligan rolls into the lower hammock. Skipper climbs into the upper hammock.

EXT. HOWELLS HUT - NIGHT

Mrs. Howell exits their hut. Mr. Howell follows and carries a coconut. Mr. Howell closes the door.

MRS HOWELL

The coast is clear.

MR HOWELL

(whispers)

Yes, my dear, I'm afraid it is.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, Thurston, I know you hate violence, but you said yourself it's for the Captain's own good.

MR HOWELL

I know, but it's so physical, it's almost manual labor. I wonder if my muscles are up to it.

MRS HOWELL

Of course they are, darling. You're so big and strong.

MR HOWELL

Come to think of it, I am.

MRS HOWELL

Now, remember,the Captain's in the bottom bunk, and it's for a good cause: Us.

MR HOWELL

You're so right.

Mr. Howell walks toward the boys hut. He looks back several times as he makes his way to the boys hut.

INT./EXT. BOYS HUT - NIGHT

Mr. Howell opens the hut door and sneaks in. Skipper SNORES. Mr. Howell feels his way through the hut in the dark. He bumps several BAMBOO POLES and they shift and CLATTER. Skipper SNORES. The noise didn't awaken him. Mr. Howell bends down to get closer to the bottom bunk where he believes Skipper sleeps. He grasps the head of sleeping Gilligan with one hand.

MR HOWELL

I hate to do this, Skipper, but it's for your own good.

With the coconut in his other hand, Mr. Howell conks Gilligan squarely on his head. Gilligan awakens and rolls out of his bunk onto the ground. He glances up at Mr. Howell who recognizes that he struck the wrong man.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

The wrong one!

Mr. Howell flees the hut. Gilligan rubs his head.

INT. HOWELLS HUT - NIGHT

Mr. Howell throws open the bamboo door and rushes to Mrs. Howell to confess his mistake. He still carries the coconut.

MR HOWELL

Lovey, I made a terrible boo-boo. Gilligan's sleeping in the wrong hammock.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, Thurston, you have to talk to that boy. He never does anything right.

MR HOWELL

But I can't go back there. I'm emotionally exhausted.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, darling, you're overwrought. I'll do it.

MR HOWELL

Oh-no, I wouldn't hear of it. It's not ladylike, but I won't tell a soul.

Mr. Howell hands the coconut to Mrs. Howell.

MRS HOWELL

I'll just close my eyes and pretend I'm bowling.

INT. BOYS HUT - NIGHT

Skipper lies on the top hammock. Gilligan sits on the ground and rubs his head.

SKIPPER

Hey, Gilligan Skipper, you're right. I don't like it up here.

GILLIGAN

I don't like it down here too much, either.

SKIPPER

You're sure a nice guy for being a stranger. Would you mind switching hammocks again?

GILLIGAN

No, I don't mind. I wish you'd say those things when you didn't have amnesia.

Skipper rolls out of the top hammock. Gilligan stands. Skipper rolls into the bottom hammock.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

I don't know how you stood all those months down there.

Gilligan climbs into the top hammock.

PAN TO MRS. HOWELL

as she enters the hut. In the dark, she bumps into the cabinet. Skipper SNORES. Mrs. Howell slowly approaches the Gilligan in the top bunk. Mrs. Howell raises the coconut far above her head.

MRS HOWELL

Here I go for a spare.

Mrs. Howell strikes Gilligan with such force that the coconut splits open and coconut milk pours onto Gilligan's head. She withdraws the coconut to see that the sleep man was Gilligan and not her intended target. She gasps in horror.

MRS HOWELL (cont'd)

Oh! Gilligan.

Mrs. Howell flees and exits. Gilligan is stunned. Coconut milk covers his head. He feels his head.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. CAMP - DAY

Skipper sits at the dining table. Professor swings a small shell on a cord. He attempts to hypnotize Skipper. The other castaways watch nearby.

PROFESSOR

Now, just relax, Skipper. Just relax and concentrate on this shell. Just keep your eye on this shell. Now, Skipper, I want you to go back to a time before you were hit over the head.

SKIPPER

Swell, I'd sure like to know who I am.

PROFESSOR

Now, go back, Skipper. Go back in time to the good old days to a time before you were hit over the head. Go back, Skipper. Go back to the good old days. All right, Skipper, you can wake up now.

Skipper awakes and smiles.

SKIPPER'S POV

Skipper sees Mary Ann, Gilligan, Mr. Howell, Ginger, and Mrs. Howell dressed in clothes that might have been worn by the kids in the 1930s "Our Gang" comedies.

BACK TO SCENE

SKIPPER

Hi, kids!

SKIPPER'S POV

Dressed as kids, Mary Ann, Gilligan, Mr. Howell, Ginger, and Mrs. Howell exchange confused glances.

BACK TO SCENE

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Are we gonna be late for school?

PROFESSOR

looks puzzled by the result of his hypnosis.

BACK TO SCENE

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Let's play catch! Come on, let's play catch together! Ah, here's a good ball! Here, Stinky, catch!

GILLIGAN

He's acting like a kid.

MARY ANN

He thinks we're kids, too.

GINGER

Gee, Professor, I think you took him back a little too far.

GILLIGAN

It'll take him years to grow up.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. CAMP - NIGHT

Professor attempts hypnosis again. Professor swings the small shell on a cord. Skipper sits opposite him and holds a toy boat in his arms. The other castaways stand nearby and watch them.

PROFESSOR

Now you're growing up, Skipper. You're no longer a little boy playing with toy boats.

Skipper more tightly grasps the toy boat.

PROFESSOR (cont'd)

The years are passing. You're now sailing around the world and you've come to an island in the South Pacific. An island in the South Pacific. A tiny island somewhere in the South Pacific.

Skipper's head nods down as the hypnosis takes effect.

PROFESSOR (cont'd)

All right, Skipper, you can wake up now.

Skipper awakes. He looks fearful.

SKIPPER'S POV

The castaways appear as Japanese soldiers. Japanese MUSIC accompanies.

BACK TO SCENE

SKIPPER

Oh, no!

SKIPPER'S POV

The castaways appear as Japanese soldiers.

BACK TO SCENE

SKIPPER (cont'd)

I'm surrounded by the enemy! Help!

Skipper stands, turns, and flees into the jungle.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO

FADE IN:

EXT. GILLIGAN'S ISLAND - ESTABLISHING SHOT - DAY

EXT. CAMP - DAY

Professor and Gilligan wander in from the jungle and approach a small table.

GILLIGAN

Professor, I'm too tired to be tired.

PROFESSOR

Well, we've looked everywhere.

They sit down at the table.

GILLIGAN

You know, there's one place we missed.

PROFESSOR

Where?

GILLIGAN

I'm too tired to remember.

Professor places his face in his palm. Mr. Howell, followed by Mrs. Howell appear from behind the hut. The Howells are dressed in African safari wear. Mr. Howell wears a pith helmet and Mrs. Howell wears a similar one.

MR HOWELL

I just heard the latest news on the radio. Now, according to reports about the Navy maneuvers, those ships should be passing here sometime this afternoon.

PROFESSOR

Now we really must be rescued, because those Navy doctors will be able to help the Skipper.

GILLIGAN

But without the Skipper how can you signal the ships?

MR HOWELL

Well, I grew up on a yacht. I know something about signals.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, yes. Thurston can signal for the cocktail hour. A third round of martinis.

PROFESSOR

Yes, but can he signal for help?

MR HOWELL

Oh, good heavens, after the third round, what do you think I'm signaling for?

PROFESSOR

(to Gilligan)

You and the girls better finish making that signal tower.

Gilligan stands and rushes away.

PROFESSOR (cont'd)

(to Mr. Howell)

Come on, Mister Howell, I'll get the signal flags for you.

Professor stands and guides the Howells around the edge of the hut.

MR HOWELL

All right. You come along, too, Lovey.

INT. SUPPLY HUT - DAY

Professor leads the Howells to the supplies. He hands the flags to Mr. Howell and the telescope to Mrs. Howell.

PROFESSOR

I'll cut some more bamboo for extra flags. Here, Mister Howell, you take these. And Missus Howell, you take this telescope.

MR HOWELL

Oh, come along, Lovey, we'll practice. We'll pretend we're back on our yacht.

Mr. Howell exits. Mrs. Howell follows him.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, then I have to pretend I'm seasick.

EXT. SUPPLY HUT - DAY

Skipper peers through the jungle growth.

SKIPPER'S POV

Skipper sees Mr. Howell, Mrs. Howell, and Professor as Japanese soldiers. They walk from the supply hut to the jungle. Mr. Howell carries the flags. Mrs. Howell carries the telescope.

BACK TO SCENE

Skipper emerges from his hiding place in the jungle growth and walks to the supply hut.

INT. SUPPLY HUT - DAY

Skipper surveys the supply hut. He sees a rifle and a bayonet and picks them up. He also takes an ammunition belt and the radio. Skipper exits.

FLIP TO:

EXT. SIGNAL PLATFORM - DAY

Mary Ann and Ginger stand on the signal platform. Gilligan stands on the ground. Two large bamboo support poles lean on the edge of the platform. Gilligan hands one of the poles to Mary Ann.

GILLIGAN

Here, Mary Ann, you take this pole.

MARY ANN

Okay.

She takes the bamboo pole.

GILLIGAN

And, Ginger, you take this pole here.

Gilligan hands the second pole to Ginger.

GINGER

Okay.

Ginger takes the bamboo pole.

GILLIGAN

All right, now, Mary Ann, take your pole and put it over there. Ginger, put yours over here, okay?

The women try to follow his directions, but they struggle to get past each other when carrying the bamboo poles.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

No! Whoa! Take it easy now. Just kind of cross.

The women try again, but bump their poles in each other again. Ginger swings her pole around and strikes it against a vertical support.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Come on. Look out. I'll tell you what. Put your pole down, Ginger. Put your pole down.

Ginger puts the bamboo pole down on the platform and then puts her hands on her hips.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Yeah. All right. Now, Mary Ann, put your pole over there and lash it, you know? I'll go get some more vines.

Mary Ann places her bamboo pole where directed. Ginger picks up a vine to secure it. Gilligan walks into the nearby jungle to find more vines. Skipper appears through the underbrush. He carries the rifle with bayonet.

SKIPPER'S POV

Mary Ann and Ginger appear as Japanese soldiers working on the signal platform. Japanese MUSIC accompanies.

BACK TO SCENE

Skipper emerges from the jungle and walks to the signal platform. He points the bayonet at them.

SKIPPER

All right, you two! Stop the work and come down out of there.

MARY ANN

Well, Skipper--

(to Ginger)

Well, what's the matter with him now?

SKIPPER

Never mind all that whispering.

HIGH ANGLE ON SKIPPER

SKIPPER (cont'd)

I'm wise to all the tricks you Japanese soldiers pull.

SKIPPER'S POV

Mary Ann and Ginger appear as Japanese soldiers.

GINGER

Japanese soldiers?

(to Mary Ann)

He thinks we're Japanese soldiers.

HIGH ANGLE ON SKIPPER

SKIPPER

Come down out of there or I'll shoot.

BACK TO SCENE

SKIPPER (cont'd)

I mean it. Now, move.

Mary Ann moves to the ladder and climbs down.

MARY ANN

Skipper.

SKIPPER

I'm warning you, no tricks. Make it snappy. Move down out of there.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. CAVE CELL - DAY

Skipper tests the construction of his bamboo door for the cave to keep his prisoners of war. Two large bamboo supports hold the door in the place. The radio sits on a nearby boulder. Mary Ann and Ginger are held inside. They stand at the door. Skipper picks up the radio and tries to use it as a transmitter.

SKIPPER

This is the C.O. of the hundred and seventy-seventh Infantry reporting from Guadalcanal. I've been cut off from my platoon by a Japanese patrol. But I've captured two Japanese soldiers. Roger and over.

MARY ANN AND GINGER

MARY ANN

(to Ginger)

He thinks he's back in the war and he thinks we're men.

GINGER

How could anybody get that idea about me? Besides having amnesia,

he's got eye trouble.

MARY ANN

Maybe if we're a little more friendly maybe then we can reach him, huh?

GINGER

Good idea.

BACK TO SCENE

Skipper shakes the radio as if he's trying to get it to work.

GINGER (cont'd)

Skipper? You know, you can't send messages with that radio. It only acts as a receiver.

SKIPPER

Never mind any of your tricks.

SKIPPER

turns and looks at Mary Ann and Ginger with a puzzled expression.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

How come you talk like that?

SKIPPER'S POV

Mary Ann and Ginger appear as Japanese soldiers. Mary Ann and Ginger exchange glances.

GINGER

Like what?

SKIPPER

SKIPPER

Like a woman.

SKIPPER'S POV

Mary Ann and Ginger appear as Japanese soldiers.

GINGER

Being born that way helps.

SKIPPER

has a realization.

SKIPPER

You're one of those ventriloquists. You sound like a woman, but you look like a Japanese soldier.

SKIPPER'S POV

Mary Ann and Ginger appear as Japanese soldiers.

GINGER

Skipper, isn't it obvious that I'm a--woman?

SKIPPER

is unconvinced.

SKIPPER

That's a nice try, but not quite good enough.

SKIPPER'S POV

Mary Ann and Ginger appear as Japanese soldiers.

MARY ANN

Oh, Skipper, here. Sniff this perfume just once.

SKIPPER

grows angry.

SKIPPER

I told you never mind those tricks.

BACK TO SCENE

SKIPPER (cont'd)

That's probably poisoned, perfumed gas.

GINGER

Skipper, look at this.

MARY ANN'S AND GINGER'S LEGS

Ginger hikes up her dress to reveal her shapely legs.

SKIPPER

looks at Ginger's legs.

SKIPPER'S POV

Mary Ann and Ginger appear as Japanese soldiers. Their legs appear fully covered. Japanese MUSIC accompanies.

GINGER (cont'd)

Did you ever see legs like that on a man?

SKIPPER

shakes his head. He's unimpressed.

SKIPPER

Well, I must say, you're a lousy actor.

SKIPPER'S POV

Mary Ann and Ginger appear as Japanese soldiers. Ginger takes offense at the jab to her acting skills. Mary Ann and Ginger exchange glances. Ginger exhales in disgust.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. SIGNAL PLATFORM - DAY

Mr. Howell stands on the platform and waves the flags. Mrs. Howell looks through the telescope at the ocean. Mrs. Howell turns around and points the telescope at Mr. Howell.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, Thurston, you look marvelous. What was that signal for?

MR HOWELL

Well, I think it means the polo field is clear on Sunday.

MRS HOWELL

Oh.

Mrs. Howell points the telescope back toward the ocean.

MR HOWELL

If this doesn't work, I--I have one in reserve, Lovey.

Mr. Howell unfurls a signal flag with a large dollar sign on it.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

This one gets them every time.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, that should do it.

MR HOWELL

Universal code!

Mr. Howell practices waving the dollar sign flag.

SKIPPER

peeks through the jungle underbrush and looks at the Howells.

SKIPPER'S POV

Japanese MUSIC accompanies. Mr. Howell and Mrs. Howell appear as Japanese soldiers. Mr. Howell stands on the signal platform and waves a Japanese flag. Mrs. Howell looks toward the ocean with the telescope.

BACK TO SCENE

Skipper emerges from the jungle and confronts the Howells. He points the rifle with bayonet at them.

SKIPPER

I got you!

MR HOWELL

Hello, Skipper. What are you doing with that bayonet?

SKIPPER

Never mind that, come on down out of there.

MR HOWELL

Yes, come down. I'm coming right down.

Mr. Howell climbs down the ladder from the signal platform.

SKIPPER

You're Japanese soldiers and my prisoners.

MR HOWELL

Don't be ridiculous. We aren't Japanese--

Mr. Howell pauses as he realizes that he's on the pointy end of the bayonet. Skipper lunges the bayonet at Mr. Howell.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Yes, we are. Don't worry about that.

(faux Japanese accent)

We Japanese soldiers. We made in--

SKIPPER

That's better. Now, what's your rank?

SKIPPER'S POV

Mr. Howell and Mrs. Howell are dressed as Japanese soldiers.

MR HOWELL

(faux Japanese accent)

How ranky you want?

SKIPPER

Colonel?

MR HOWELL

(faux Japanese accent)

More.

SKIPPER

General.

Mr. Howell grasps his ear as if he's signaling "sounds like" in a game of "charades."

MR HOWELL

(faux Japanese accent)

Sound like we strike you out.

SKIPPER

Sounds like "umpire."

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Emperor!

MR HOWELL

(faux Japanese accent)

I like! Me, Emperor!

SKIPPER

That's impossible. He's in Tokyo.

MR HOWELL

(faux Japanese accent)

No, I think big.

MRS HOWELL

(faux Japanese accent)

Ever since little child.

SKIPPER

Well, I want you to talk big. I want names and information!

MR HOWELL

(faux Japanese accent)

American fleet. You signal, they come ashore.

SKIPPER

I don't believe you.

MRS HOWELL

(faux Japanese accent)

No, you believe him. He never lie, except when truth don't work.

Skipper thinks he's caught them in a lie. Skipper lunges the bayonet at them.

SKIPPER

Ah-ha!

Mrs. Howell screams.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Another one of those ventriloquists, eh?

MR HOWELL

(faux Japanese accent)

We surrender on one condition!

SKIPPER

What's that?

MR HOWELL

You don't hurt us.

SKIPPER

Rots of ruck.

BACK TO SCENE

Skipper motions with the rifle and bayonet

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Now, move out! Move!

Mr. Howell takes Mrs. Howell's hand and they start walking in the direction pointed to by Skipper's bayonet.

MR HOWELL

Yes. Lovey, come on. No need to--

Skipper lunges the bayonet at them again.

SKIPPER

Move!

FLIP TO:

EXT. CAMP - DAY

Professor carries three thin bamboo poles into camp.

PROFESSOR

Mister Howell? Missus Howell?

He leans them against the hut's outside wall. Gilligan enters.

GILLIGAN

Hey, Professor, the girls are missing.

PROFESSOR

So are Mister and Missus Howell.

Gilligan counts off the missing castaways on his fingers. Professor walks around the corner of the hut, out of Gilligan's view.

GILLIGAN

Huh. Mister and Missus Howell, Mary Ann, Ginger, the Skipper--

Gilligan looks up. He sees the Professor no longer stands next to him. He turns around, calling out for the Professor with increasing urgency.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Professor? Professor? Professor? Professor? Professor?!

Professor appears from around the corner and taps Gilligan on the shoulder.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Pro--

Gilligan jumps with a start.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

I just thought you were missing, too.

PROFESSOR

I'm afraid there are things missing that are even more disturbing: our guns, ammunition, even our radio.

GILLIGAN

What do you mean?

PROFESSOR

Well, using the deductive form of reasoning, taking the set of circumstances as we know them, projecting forward possible conclusions, it's pretty easy to say.

GILLIGAN

Easy for you, difficult for me.

PROFESSOR

Gilligan, I'm afraid we've done something to make the Skipper think we're his enemies. He's probably held the others

prisoner somewhere.

GILLIGAN

But we searched the whole island.

PROFESSOR

Yes, except for that one place you forgot.

GILLIGAN

I just remembered the place I forgot. Come on.

Gilligan exits into the jungle. Professor follows him.

FLIP TO:

EXT. CAVE CELL - DAY

Mr. Howell, Ginger, Mrs. Howell, and Mary Ann stand behind the bamboo cell door and look out from their cell that is the cave.

PAN TO GILLIGAN AND PROFESSOR

They crawl behind jungle growth and stand up. They observe their imprisoned friends. They do not see Skipper.

GILLIGAN AND PROFESSOR

GILLIGAN

You see, I was right. They're all in there. The only person I can't see is the Skipper.

Gilligan looks around the area outside of the cave.

PROFESSOR

Yeah, good. We better sneak in, free 'em before he gets back.

GILLIGAN

Okay.

PAN ON GILLIGAN AND PROFESSOR

as they walk from the jungle to the cave cell. Behind a large tree out of their view, Skipper secretly watches them. The radio sits on a boulder outside of the prisoner's reach.

MRS HOWELL

Get us out of here.

MR HOWELL

Quiet, quiet, quiet, girls.

MRS HOWELL

It is a terrible place.

MR HOWELL

Quiet, girls.

MRS HOWELL

I hate it.

MR HOWELL

Professor, give it--

Skipper moves from his hiding to confront Gilligan and Professor with his rifle and bayonet.

SKIPPER

A-ha! Put your hands up, you two!

Professor raises his hands to reveal that he has no weapons. Gilligan raises his hands far over his head.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Get over there!

PUSH IN

to Skipper pointing the rifle at Professor and Gilligan outside the bamboo cell door.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

(breaks fourth wall)

Six Japanese prisoners in fifteen minutes! I may take the whole Japanese army single-handed!

FLIP TO:

INT./EXT. CAVE CELL - DAY

Trapped inside the cave cell, Professor takes Gilligan aside to speak with him.

PROFESSOR

Gilligan. Gilligan, I don't want to worry the others, but you're our only hope. Now, talk to the Skipper like his little buddy.

GILLIGAN

Okay.

Skipper sits on the boulder with the radio. Gilligan climbs through the bamboo cell door and approaches Skipper and taps him on the shoulder.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Hey, soldier, don't you remember me? I'm your little buddy.

SKIPPER

I don't have any little buddy.

Skipper realizes Gilligan has escaped his cave cell.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

What are you doing out here? Get back in there!

Gilligan climbs back through the bamboo cell door and joins the other castaways.

GILLIGAN

Skipper, are you sure you don't remember me, your little buddy?

SKIPPER

If you were my little buddy, why are you wearing that Japanese uniform?

SKIPPER'S POV

Gilligan and the other castaways appear as Japanese soldiers. Gilligan wears a "Fu Manchu" mustache.

GILLIGAN

Yeah, how come I'm wearing a Japanese uniform?

PROFESSOR

You're not wearing a Japanese uniform. He just thinks you are.

GILLIGAN

But he's got the gun. What he thinks counts.

Mr. Howell moves forward to the cave cell door. He holds the small telescope.

MR HOWELL

Look, soldier, according to the Geneva Conference, I think it's time for a--a coconut break.

SKIPPER

mulls it over.

SKIPPER

I guess there's no harm in that.

SKIPPER'S POV

MR HOWELL

Just let me have the bayonet. I'll give it a little jab.

SKIPPER

refuses to be tricked.

SKIPPER'S POV

Gilligan places his hand on the small telescope held by Mr. Howell.

SKIPPER

reaches down to the ground, picks up a coconut half, and bites into it.

PROFESSOR (O.S.)

Mister Howell, those Navy ships may be out there right now.

BACK TO SCENE

Gilligan focuses the small telescope and looks through it toward the ocean.

MR HOWELL

This calls for drastic action.

Why don't we charge him? He can't kill all of us.

GILLIGAN

That's right.

MR HOWELL

And I'll stay here and tend to the wounded.

Mr. Howell turns to retreat further into the cave, but Professor and Gilligan stop him. Gilligan looks through the small telescope again.

PROFESSOR

We have got to plan this very carefully. This is our only chance.

GILLIGAN

Oh, Professor, there they are. The Navy ships are out there.

GILLIGAN'S POV THROUGH TELESCOPE

Navy ships are visible through the telescope. Patriotic MUSIC accompanies.

SKIPPER

stands and points the rifle toward the other castaways.

SKIPPER

Japanese ships, eh? Don't anyone sound an alarm, or I'll fire.

SKIPPER'S POV

The castaways are dressed as Japanese soldiers. Professor swings a shell on a small cord. He tries to hypnotize Skipper from inside the cave cell.

PROFESSOR

Skipper, Skipper, you've got to believe me. We are marooned on a desert island, and we are your friends, ...

SKIPPER

looks toward Professor.

PROFESSOR (O.S.)

... and you are the Skipper.

MR. HOWELL AND GILLIGAN

peer through the bamboo bars, but are mesmerized by Professor's swinging shell on a cord.

PROFESSOR (O.S.) (cont'd)

You've got to forget everything else. You are the Skipper. You are the Skipper. You are the Skipper. You are the Skipper.

Professor succeeds in hypnotizing Mr. Howell and Gilligan. They stiffen and withdraw from the cave cell door.

INT. CAVE CELL - DAY

Gilligan and Mr. Howell back away from the cave cell door and aggressively assert their dominance.

GILLIGAN

All right, sailor boy. Stomach in, chest out!

MR HOWELL

I won't stand for a mutiny on my ship!

GILLIGAN

Your ship? I'm the Skipper!

MR HOWELL

I'm the Skipper! It's my ship.

MARY ANN, GINGER AND MRS. HOWELL

MARY ANN

What's happened to Gilligan?

MRS HOWELL

What's happened to Thurston?

GINGER

I don't know.

GILLIGAN AND MR. HOWELL

face off.

GILLIGAN

I'll report you to the Admiral and have you court-martialed!

MR HOWELL

When you talk to me, say "sir"!

MARY ANN, GINGER, AND MRS. HOWELL

GINGER

He thinks he's the Skipper. Everybody thinks they're Skipper

except the Skipper.

BACK TO SCENE

MR HOWELL

I am the Skipper!

Gilligan pushes Mr. Howell.

GILLIGAN

No, I am the Skipper!

MR HOWELL

I am the Skipper!

Gilligan beats his chest.

GILLIGAN

I am the Skipper!

GINGER

Professor! Professor!

MR HOWELL

I am fat!

GILLIGAN

I am the Skipper!

Professor tries to intervene, but Mr. Howell pushes him back.

MR HOWELL

Get out of here!

EXT. CAVE CELL - DAY

Gilligan and Mr. Howell continue to argue over who is the skipper. Skipper stands.

SKIPPER

Quiet, you prisoners! Quiet!

Skipper moves toward the cave cell door.

INT./EXT. CAVE CELL - DAY

Skipper peers into the cave cell from the outside of the bamboo cell door.

GILLIGAN (O.S.)

You look like you're dressed for a safari!

SKIPPER

Will you prisoners be quiet?

INT. CAVE CELL - DAY

Gilligan and Mr. Howell shout at each other. Professor swings his small shell on a cord, futilely attempting to re-hypnotize Gilligan and Mr. Howell.

MR HOWELL

I am a fat, very--

INT./EXT. CAVE CELL - DAY

Gilligan and Mr. Howell shout at each other, trying to assert their dominance as to which one is in charge. They shout various insults.

SKIPPER

Quiet!

Skipper removes the supports that hold the cave cell door in place. He removes the door and tosses it aside.

GILLIGAN

I'll have you drawn and quartered!

Skipper barges into the cell to confront his noisy prisoners.

SKIPPER

Will you be quiet?

Gilligan strikes Skipper over the head with the telescope. Skipper, dazed, reels back, and leans against the cave cell wall. Skipper strikes the side of his head as if he has water in an ear. His amnesia has cleared.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Gilligan, Mister Howell, what are you arguing about?

Skipper approaches Gilligan and Mr. Howell as they argue.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Will you two pipe down?

Skipper strongly takes the men and butts their heads together. Both men are dazed and no longer hypnotized.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Gilligan, I'm the only skipper around here, and that goes for you, too, Howell!

GILLIGAN

He knows my name.

MR HOWELL

Mine, too!

PROFESSOR

That hit on the head brought him back. The Skipper's cured! He's back!

The castaways cheer and hug Skipper. Skipper looks around. He's confused why the other castaways are cheering.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT TWO

TAG

FADE IN:

EXT. SIGNAL PLATFORM - DAY

MR. HOWELL

runs to the signal platform. Skipper and Professor stand at the base. Gilligan stands on a new, completed, higher level of the platform, about 18 feet above the ground.

MR HOWELL

How's he doing?

ZOOM OUT

SKIPPER

Any signs of anything, Gilligan?

ZOOM TO GILLIGAN

atop the signal platform.

GILLIGAN

No signs of the ships!

SKIPPER, MR. HOWELL AND PROFESSOR

stand at the base of the signal platform.

SKIPPER

Boy, I really goofed this time.

MR HOWELL

Well, don't worry, Skipper. It's an off season for rescues.

GILLIGAN

climbs down the signal platform ladder, but loses his balance and falls to the ground.

GILLIGAN

lies face-down in the sand in front of Skipper, Mr. Howell and Professor. Skipper tends to Gilligan. Skipper kneels down and helps Gilligan to a seated position.

SKIPPER

Gilligan, are you all right, little buddy?

Gilligan groans. Gilligan puts his hand on his forehead.

PROFESSOR

What's wrong, Gilligan?

GILLIGAN

What happened? Where am I?

GILLIGAN

looks up at Skipper and Professor.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Who are you?

SKIPPER

SKIPPER

Oh, no.

GILLIGAN

winces in pain and feels his temple.

SKIPPER (O.S.)

Not again.

Gilligan crosses his eyes and rubs his temple.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. GILLIGAN'S ISLAND - ESTABLISHING SHOT - DAY

FADE OUT.

THE END