Gilligan's Island - s1e27 - New Neighbor Sam-updated

TEASER

FADE IN:

EXT. GILLIGAN'S ISLAND - ESTABLISHING SHOT - DAY

FLIP TO:

EXT. LAGOON BEACH - DAY

SKIPPER picks up pieces of driftwood and stacks them in GILLIGAN's arms.

GILLIGAN

And when I was a kid I remember we used to go to the beach on Saturday. And when Friday came, we just hoped it wouldn't rain the next day because of Saturday we used to go to the beach on. You know what I mean?

Skipper puts another driftwood stick on the stack in Gilligan's arms. Skipper grows fatigued with Gilligan's story.

SKIPPER

Yes, Gilligan, I know what you mean.

GILLIGAN

We used‑‑we used to worry the beach bus wouldn't be on time because if the beach bus wasn't on time, we would get to the beach until it was too late. And if you got to the beach too late, it's nothing--

Skipper puts a small piece of firewood in Gilligan's mouth.

SKIPPER

There. That ought to keep you quiet for a while. Now stay right here while I go gather some more wood.

Skipper exits. Gilligan mumbles with the wood in his mouth.

PARROT VOICE - SAM (O.S.)

Now listen, you guys, and listen good.

GILLIGAN

PARROT VOICE - SAM (O.S.) (cont'd)

You and Louie case the island for a place to sleep tonight. And don't forget, if you see anybody, shoot to kill.

Gilligan drops the driftwood in his arms. With the stick still in his mouth, he drops to all fours and crawls to Skipper.

EXT. JUNGLE - DAY

Gilligan, stick in mouth, crawls to Skipper. Skipper picks up pieces of wood.

SKIPPER

Gilligan.

Gilligan stands.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Gilligan. That's a good boy.

(removes stick from Gilligan's mouth)

You can let go now--

GILLIGAN

Get down!

Gilligan pulls Skipper down to the ground. Gilligan falls on his back with Skipper partially on top of him.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

They're gonna shoot to kill!

SKIPPER

What are you talking about?

GILLIGAN

Follow me. Follow me. Follow me.

Gilligan turns over and crawls on all fours back to the Lagoon beach. Gilligan kicks up sand on his way.

SKIPPER

protects himself from the sand by lowering his head. Then he crawls on all fours after Gilligan.

GILLIGAN

crawls to where he dropped the driftwood. Skipper crawls behind him. Gilligan points.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

They're right behind the hill.

SKIPPER

Who is right behind the hill?

PARROT VOICE - SAM (O.S.)

All right, Artie, you and Syd know what to do. Now, get going.

PARROT VOICE - ARTIE (O.S.)

Boss, did you mean what you said to Gus and Louie?

GILLIGAN

PARROT VOICE - SAM (O.S.)

Sure, I did. If you see anybody, shoot to kill...

SKIPPER

PARROT VOICE - SAM (O.S.) (cont'd)

... and ask questions later.

PARROT VOICE - ARTIE (O.S.)

That's good enough for me, boss.

SKIPPER

That's good enough for me, too.

BACK TO SCENE

UNDERCRANKED CAMERA

Skipper crawls over Gilligan and Gilligan rolls over the sand.

FADE OUT.

END OF TEASER

ACT ONE

FADE IN:

EXT. CAMP - DAY

Skipper stands in front of the boys hut, explaining to PROFESSOR, MRS. HOWELL, and MR. HOWELL what he and Gilligan saw. Professor sits on the dining table. Mrs. Howell and Mr. Howell sit on one of the benches. Skipper walks toward Gilligan.

SKIPPER

And so that's how we made our getaway, isn't it, Gilligan?

GILLIGAN

Yeah, yeah.

PROFESSOR

I realize that Gilligan has a vivid imagination, ...

PROFESSOR

PROFESSOR (cont'd)

... but since you both heard them‑‑

GILLIGAN AND SKIPPER

GILLIGAN

We both heard them, all right. Tell them what the boss said, Skipper.

SKIPPER

I will, Gilligan.

Gilligan interrupts.

GILLIGAN

He said, "If you see anybody, shoot to kill, and ask questions later."

MRS. HOWELL AND MR. HOWELL

MRS HOWELL

What are we going to do?

Mr. Howell puts his arm around Mrs. Howell's shoulder.

MR HOWELL

Don't worry, Lovey, I'll protect you.

Mrs. Howell stands.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, I'll be murdered in my bed!

Mr. Howell stands.

MR HOWELL

Over my dead body!

MRS HOWELL

Oooh!

Mrs. Howell verges on tears.

MR HOWELL

Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry, Lovey.

BACK TO SCENE

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

(to Professor)

The Howell women are so delicate!

Mrs. Howell hurries away and Mr. Howell follows her.

PUSH IN

SKIPPER

What do you think, Professor?

PROFESSOR

Could you see how many gangsters there were, Skipper?

SKIPPER

Well, let's see. There was Louie, Artie and Syd and--

GILLIGAN

Sounds like a teenage singing group.

PROFESSOR

Is that all you counted? Just four?

GILLIGAN

Oh, no. There are plenty more than that.

PROFESSOR

Well, how many were there? Take a guess.

GILLIGAN

Thirty-seven.

PROFESSOR

You counted thirty-seven gangsters?

GILLIGAN

No, that's my guess. Do I win?

SKIPPER

Gilligan, cut that out. We're not playing a game. Now, Professor, I figure there was maybe--eight or nine.

Professor stands, walks a bit, stops, and turns. Gilligan and Skipper gather near him.

PROFESSOR

You know something, Skipper?

SKIPPER

You got an idea brewing?

PROFESSOR

Well, obviously they got to this island by boat. Now, why couldn't we sneak on board, borrow their boat--and take off for Hawaii?

GILLIGAN

Oh, that'd be stealing.

PROFESSOR

Gilligan, these men are gangsters. If they find us, they'll kill us. You said so yourself. Now, do you still think it's stealing?

GILLIGAN

Like you said, let's borrow their boat.

SKIPPER

Well, first we ought to figure out where they've set up camp and then we can stay out of their way.

PROFESSOR

Right. I'll get Mister Howell and we‘ll reconnoiter.

Professor exits.

SKIPPER

Alright, we'll get Mister Howell and we'll reconnoiter. Come on.

Skipper exits.

GILLIGAN

Okay, but I think we ought to scout around a bit first.

Skipper re-enters and grabs Gilligan by his shirt collar.

SKIPPER

Come on, Gilligan!

FLIP TO:

EXT. JUNGLE - DAY

Professor rises from the jungle underbrush. He parts the leaves on a plant and peers through and looks around.

PAN RIGHT TO MR HOWELL

who rises from the jungle underbrush. He also looks around.

PAN RIGHT TO SKIPPER

who rises from the jungle underbrush and looks around.

PAN RIGHT TO GILLIGAN'S HAT

which rises up from the jungle underbrush supported by a stick. Gilligan's nose whistles when he breathes. Gilligan's head appears and he slips into the hat.

PROFESSOR, MR. HOWELL, SKIPPER, AND GILLIGAN

Professor stands. Professor and Mr. Howell exchange glances. Gilligan's nose whistles. Mr. Howell turns to Skipper and they exchange glances. Gilligan's nose whistles. Skipper turns to Gilligan.

SKIPPER AND GILLIGAN

Skipper reaches over Gilligan's head and pinches his nose closed. The whistling stops. Skipper releases Gilligan's nose and the whistling resumes. Skipper listens for a bit and then pinches Gilligan's nose closed again. The whistling stops. Skipper releases Gilligan's nose.

SKIPPER

(sotto)

Gilligan, can't you breathe without whistling?

GILLIGAN

I'm sorry, Skipper, I can't help it. When I'm nervous, my breath comes in short whistles.

SKIPPER

Well, you'll have to stop breathing or go back to camp.

Gilligan gulps a large breath and they sink into the foliage.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Down.

BACK TO SCENE

Gilligan's nose whistle continues.

SKIPPER AND GILLIGAN

stand. They look at each other. Gilligan nods and then exits.

Skipper gives an aside glance.

FLIP TO:

INT. HUT - DAY

MARY ANN, Mrs. Howell, and GINGER watch as Gilligan rigs a booby trap for the gangsters. Gilligan struggles to push a bamboo chair, supported by two ropes, into position by a nearby window. On the chair sit heavy weights to give the trap its payload. Gilligan loses his footing and the chair swings to its equilibrium position. Gilligan rights himself.

GILLIGAN

Would you ladies mind giving me a hand?

MARY ANN

Sure.

GILLIGAN

Thanks.

Ginger pushes on the chair as Mary Ann and Mrs. Howell spot for him. Gilligan's nose starts to whistle again.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Here we go.

MARY ANN

To the right, Gilligan.

Gilligan and Ginger push the chair into position. Gilligan's nose whistles.

MARY ANN (cont'd)

Gilligan, a little bit more to the right.

Gilligan and Ginger move it into position. Gilligan's nose whistling becomes slightly louder.

MARY ANN (cont'd)

Wait. Wait. Almost there.

GINGER

What's that noise I hear?

GILLIGAN

That's why I was sent back to guard you ladies, and I'd rather not talk about it.

Mary Ann ties the chair to the release mechanism.

MARY ANN

finishes her knot.

MARY ANN

Okay, you can let go now. I've got it tied off.

BACK TO SCENE

Gilligan's nose whistles. He releases the chair and it stays in position.

GILLIGAN

All right. Now if you ladies will step aside, please.

The women step to the side.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

(to Mary Ann)

Not you, Mary Ann. You're guarding the trigger.

Gilligan speaks to Mrs. Howell and Ginger.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Now I'll show you how the catapult works.

MRS HOWELL

If it works.

GILLIGAN

Now, say the gangsters are at the door.

Ginger screams and steps back to the door.

GINGER

The gangsters are at the door!

GILLIGAN

Where? Where? Where?

GINGER

Isn't that what you told me to say?

GILLIGAN

Oh, yeah.

Gilligan stands and bumps his head on the weighted chair.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Well--

BACK TO SCENE

As Gilligan describes the encounter, he walks across the hut to the opposite side of the door from Ginger where there is another window.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Okay, now, the gangsters are make-believe at the door. I begin the countdown. Ten, nine, eight, seven--six, ...

Gilligan crouches down below the window.

EXT. CAMP - DAY

Skipper walks from the jungle toward the hut.

GILLIGAN (O.S.)

... five, four...

INT. HUT - DAY

Skipper approaches the hut's door and opens it.

GILLIGAN

... three, two, one, pull!

MARY ANN

releases the knot on the chair.

SKIPPER AND GILLIGAN

Gilligan stands to face Skipper and warn him.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Look out for the chair, Skipper!

SKIPPER

What?

Skipper turns to look at the...

CHAIR AND MARY ANN

The chair flies at Skipper.

BACK TO SCENE

Skipper is pushed into Gilligan. Gilligan falls backward and Skipper falls on him.

MARY ANN, MRS. HOWELL, AND GINGER

The women realize that Skipper could be hurt. The chair swings like a pendulum in front of them.

THEIR ANKLES AND FEET

poke into the hut from outside.

EXT. HUT - DAY

Having fallen through the wall, Skipper and Gilligan lay on the sand outside the hut.

SKIPPER

Thanks a lot, Gilligan.

GILLIGAN

But it worked.

Gilligan scrambles to rise to his feet. Skipper hits him with his cap.

FLIP TO:

INT./EXT. HUT - EVENING

Ginger exits the hut, followed by Skipper and Gilligan. Mary Ann and Mrs. Howell remain in the doorway.

SKIPPER

Let's get going, Gilligan. I want to find the Professor and Mister Howell before it gets dark.

GINGER

Did you see any gangsters?

SKIPPER

Not so far.

Gilligan and Skipper head for the jungle. Mrs. Howell and Mary Ann join Ginger.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, Skipper,...

SKIPPER AND GILLIGAN

MRS HOWELL (O.S.)

...I hope they haven't captured Mister Howell.

MARY ANN, MRS. HOWELL, AND GINGER

MRS HOWELL

He'd lead the gang right back here.

MARY ANN

Oh, don't worry, Missus Howell. Even if they capture him, he won't say anything. Even if they torture him.

MRS HOWELL

You don't know my husband. He has a very low threshold of pain. He'll answer any questions they ask if they so much as pluck an eyebrow.

SKIPPER AND GILLIGAN

GILLIGAN

Well, I wouldn't worry about his eyebrow, Missus Howell. If those gangsters see Mister Howell, they have definite orders: "Shoot to kill--"

Skipper places his hand over Gilligan's mouth.

MARY ANN, MRS. HOWELL, AND GINGER

Mrs. Howell is horrified.

GILLIGAN AND SKIPPER

SKIPPER

Come on, Gilligan, we'd better go find them right away.

Skipper turns Gilligan toward the jungle and they walk toward the jungle. Gilligan bites Skipper's hand. Skipper releases Gilligan and cries out from the pain.

GILLIGAN

(turns back to the ladies)

"--and ask questions later."

Gilligan runs into the jungle. Skipper chases after him.

MARY ANN, MRS. HOWELL, AND GINGER

fret.

MRS HOWELL

Dear.

FLIP TO:

EXT. JUNGLE - NIGHT

MR. HOWELL AND PROFESSOR

walk through the jungle. Professor stops. Mr. Howell bumps into him and stops closely behind him. Professor raises his index finger to his lips to shush Mr. Howell. Mr. Howell raises his index finger to his lips to acknowledge Professor.

SKIPPER AND GILLIGAN

walk through the jungle. Skipper stops and listens. Gilligan stops closely behind him.

MR. HOWELL AND PROFESSOR

exchange glances and then proceed cautiously.

SKIPPER AND GILLIGAN

SKIPPER

(sotto, turning to Gilligan)

What was that?

GILLIGAN

(sotto)

Maybe it was Syd or Artie, or Louie or Gus.

SKIPPER

Get down.

They duck out of sight.

MR. HOWELL AND PROFESSOR

step cautiously through the jungle. Mr. Howell nearly trips on the uneven ground. Professor steps up onto a lump.

PROFESSOR'S FEET

Professor stands on palm leaves.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL SKIPPER

under the palm leaves. He winces because Professor stands on him. He taps Gilligan.

MR. HOWELL AND PROFESSOR

suddenly drop out of sight. As the struggle proceeds, a cloud of dust fills the area. Legs appear up in the air. Mr. Howell is thrust up and manages to catch is hat. He drops back down.

MR. HOWELL AND SKIPPER

Mr. Howell lies face down on the jungle floor. Skipper kneels above Mr. Howell and holds his left foot and twists it.

MR HOWELL

I'm Thurston Howell the Third! I'm filthy rich. I'll take you to my wife's jewels!

Skipper releases Mr. Howell's foot.

SKIPPER

Mister Howell.

PULL BACK

to include Professor. He'd caught Gilligan's neck between two branches and releases him now that they discover who their adversaries in the scuffle were.

MR HOWELL

I'll give you a thousand blank checks! I'll teach you to sign my name! I'll give you--

Mr. Howell turns and looks at Skipper. Skipper helps Mr. Howell to his feet. Professor helps Gilligan stand.

SKIPPER

Sorry, Mister Howell.

FLIP TO:

EXT. CAVE ENTRANCE - NIGHT

Skipper, Gilligan, Professor, and Mr. Howell walk by the cave entrance. They hear voices coming from the cave.

PARROT VOICE - SAM (O.S.)

Now just as soon as Artie and Louie get back, we're gonna plan the attack.

The men split. Gilligan and Skipper hide on the left side of the cave and Professor and Mr. Howell hide on the right side of the cave.

PARROT VOICE - SAM (O.S.) (cont'd)

He's guarding the boat,...

GILLIGAN AND SKIPPER

PARROT VOICE - SAM (O.S.) (cont'd)

...stupid.

SKIPPER

(sotto)

Gus has a gun.

GILLIGAN

(sotto)

And Louie's guarding the boat, stupid.

(pause)

Skipper.

PARROT VOICE - ARTIE (O.S.)

Thanks, boss.

PARROT VOICE - SAM (O.S.)

We'll let 'em ...

MR. HOWELL AND PROFESSOR

PARROT VOICE - SAM (O.S.) (cont'd)

... have it at the crack of dawn.

MR HOWELL

Professor, I think I'm going to faint.

PROFESSOR

Not now, Mister Howell.

Mr. Howell musters his courage.

MR HOWELL

Later. I'll faint later.

BACK TO SCENE

SKIPPER

(sotto)

We'd better get back to camp.

The men head toward camp. Gilligan stops Skipper.

GILLIGAN

(sotto)

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Does Louie have the gun, or is he guarding the boat? Or is that Syd or Gus? Artie?

SKIPPER

Shut up! Come on.

The men pick up Gilligan and carry him away.

FLIP TO:

INT./EXT. HUT - NIGHT

The women keep lookout. Candles light the hut. A torch lights the outside. Mr. Howell walks to each one with an encouraging message. He puts his hands on Mary Ann's shoulders.

MR HOWELL

Keep a sharp lookout, Mary Ann.

MARY ANN

I will, Mister Howell.

He walks to Mrs. Howell and puts his hands on her shoulders.

MR HOWELL

Be brave.

MRS HOWELL

Yes, darling.

He moves to Ginger and puts one hand on her shoulder.

MR HOWELL

Stout girl, Ginger.

GINGER

Yes, Mister Howell.

Mr. Howell turns to the men seated at the table.

MR HOWELL

I still say take their boat and get off this island.

Mr. Howell sits down.

PROFESSOR

But Mister Howell, suppose we did find their boat and overpower the guard, there's always the possibility that the others will find our camp deserted and capture us before we can leave.

SKIPPER

It'll be dawn in another hour, so they're practically on us now.

MR. HOWELL

MR HOWELL

We haven't got a chance. It would take a small army with guns to keep those gangsters away.

MRS. HOWELL AND GINGER

An idea dawns on Ginger.

GINGER

A small army. A small army with guns!

MRS HOWELL

What are you talking about?

GINGER

Wh--it--it's an old movie, "Beau Geste." Don't you remember?

Mrs. Howell shakes her head.

GILLIGAN

I remember "Beau Geste." What about it?

BACK TO SCENE

GINGER

Well, why don't we do the same thing Beau did when the Arabs were about to attack the fort?

GILLIGAN

Oh, yeah. I get it. "Beau Geste"! Yeah, yeah. Tell them about it, Ginger.

GINGER

Well--

GILLIGAN

You see Gary Cooper was in this fort. He's about to be attacked--he's all alone. So, he took--

GINGER

So Gary Cooper put dead soldiers all over the place and he put guns in their hands--to make it look like they had more men.

SKIPPER

Wh-What happened? Go on.

GILLIGAN

Digby got shot.

GINGER

Digby was Beau's younger brother.

GILLIGAN

He got shot like this.

Gilligan recreates Digby getting shot. He twists and slumps to the ground. Ginger runs to his side and kneels next to him. Gilligan falls back into Ginger's arms.

GINGER

Oh. Digby! Digby, speak to me.

GILLIGAN

Nurse Drucilla, they got me.

GILLIGAN AND GINGER

Ginger strokes Gilligan's face. Gilligan's nose whistles when he breathes.

GINGER

Don't leave me, Digby. You're the one I love, not Beau. You've got to believe me. You've got to live. You've got to. You've got to stop whistling or get another nurse.

Ginger rolls Gilligan out of her lap onto the hut floor.

BACK TO SCENE

Professor stands.

PROFESSOR

You know, that's a very interesting idea.

MR. HOWELL

MR HOWELL

There's only one problem. The only dead soldiers around here will be us.

BACK TO SCENE

GILLIGAN

No-no, Mister Howell. I got it. We'll take your clothes, dress them like dead soldiers, and I'll go get them. Yeah.

Gilligan opens the hut door and exits.

MR HOWELL

Wait a minute! You come back here!

Mr. Howell stands and runs to the door.

MR. HOWELL

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

My clothes? Soldiers? They're obviously not G.I.

PROFESSOR

Mister Howell, what we're gonna do is stuff them so they look like soldiers.

GINGER

(seductively)

What a wonderful invention: instant men.

FLIP TO:

INT. HUT - NIGHT

A candle on the table burns. The castaways wait for Gilligan to return. Skipper looks at Mr. Howell's wristwatch.

GILLIGAN (O.S.)

Here come the soldiers!

Skipper stands. Gilligan enters, wearing many of Mr. Howell's hats on his head and a lot of clothing in his arms.

GILLIGAN

Here come the army!

Skipper puts his arm around Gilligan and then Ginger too.

SKIPPER

I'm proud of you, Digby. You, too, Nurse Drucilla.

Mr. Howell grabs the clothing from Gilligan's arms.

MR HOWELL

Oh, my beautiful Hampstead suits! I won't permit it!

Mr. Howell throws a childish fit.

SKIPPER

In that case, Howell, you better pick out the suit you want to be buried in.

MR HOWELL

I'll permit it.

Mr. Howell tosses the clothing to the other castaways.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Here! Here!

FLIP TO:

INT./EXT. HUT - NIGHT

Ginger stands in the window. Next to her is a dummy clothed to look like a person.

PAN RIGHT

to the next windows. Professor stands between two dummies. Each wears clothes and holds bamboo poles positioned to look like guns.

PAN RIGHT

to the door, where another dressed dummy holds a longer bamboo pole in a rifle-like position.

PAN RIGHT

to Mary Ann as she peers out the window. Next to her is a dummy in Mr. Howell's pith helmet.

INT. HUT - DAWN

Skipper encourages the castaways. He moves to Ginger.

GINGER

That's it, Ginger. Now, be sure and keep those big eyes open.

Skipper moves to Professor and pats him on the arm.

SKIPPER

Professor, thanks.

Skipper moves to Mary Ann's position.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Mary Ann, watch, watch.

Skipper touches Mrs. Howell on the arm.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Mr. and Missus Howell, this is the zero hour. Be sure and keep a good look.

Skipper passes the closet and hears Gilligan's nose whistling. He stops, turns, and opens the curtain to find Gilligan inside.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

(sotto, points)

Get out there on the wall.

Gilligan exits the closet and hides behind one of the dummies between Mrs. Howell and Mary Ann.

EXT. CAMP - DAWN

The jungle path is empty.

PARROT VOICE - SAM (O.S.)

Okay, Louie, okay, Syd. Keep down, Gus...

INT. HUT - DAWN

PARROT VOICE - SAM (O.S.)

... and remember, all you guys, shoot to kill!

Gilligan ducks. Mrs. Howell exclaims.

MR HOWELL

Oh, Lovey!

Mr. Howell leads Mrs. Howell away from the outside wall with the dummies.

PROFESSOR AND GINGER

SKIPPER (O.S.)

Now, listen...

SKIPPER

fumbles over his words.

SKIPPER

... don't any-panic-body just because the come-sters are ganging.

PROFESSOR AND GINGER

PROFESSOR

Skipper's right. If we panic, we're through.

MRS. HOWELL AND MR. HOWELL

hide in the open closet.

MRS HOWELL

Thurston, what're we gonna do?

MR HOWELL

I don't know about you, but I'm going to surrender.

BACK TO SCENE

Mr. Howell crosses to the door, but stops. Mrs. Howell follows Mr. Howell.

GILLIGAN

I think they're coming. Yeah, I think I see them.

The castaways gather at the window to look for the gangsters.

INT./EXT. HUT - DAWN

The castaways watch expectantly for the gangsters. Mr. Howell squeezes past Gilligan to be near Mrs. Howell. Mr. Howell pushes Gilligan behind him. Professor squeezes in and pushes Gilligan to the back. Behind everyone else, Gilligan can't get a view, so he jumps up and down like a child at a parade trying to see past the adults.

EXT. CAMP - DAWN

The bushes rustle, but otherwise the jungle path leading to camp is quite empty.

INT./EXT. HUT - DAWN

The other castaways block Gilligan's view. He jumps up to see over the others' heads.

PARROT VOICE - SAM (O.S.)

All right, you guys, follow me.

EXT. CAMP - DAWN

A parrot waddles out from the bushes into the clearing.

PARROT VOICE - ARTIE (O.S.)

Shoot first. Shoot first.

PARROT VOICE - SAM (O.S.)

We're wanted, dead or alive.

PARROT VOICE - ARTIE (O.S.)

Dead or alive.

INT./EXT. HUT - DAWN

The castaways are dismayed.

SKIPPER

A parrot?

EXT. CAMP - DAWN

The parrot picks up something with its beak.

INT./EXT. HUT - DAWN

The dismayed castaways stare out the window.

GINGER

You mean, he's Louie?

MARY ANN

And Artie?

MRS HOWELL

And Syd?

MR HOWELL

And Gus?

INT. HUT - DAWN

Though he can't see the parrot, Gilligan panics and turns around.

GILLIGAN

Watch out! Gus has a gun.

Skipper and Professor try to calm Gilligan.

SKIPPER

It's a parrot.

PROFESSOR

Yes, unless this is a trick. Come on, men.

Professor pushes Gilligan toward the door. He grabs Mr. Howell and pushes him after Gilligan.

MR HOWELL

Thank you.

Then Professor grabs Skipper and pushes him out the door ahead of him.

EXT. CAMP - DAWN

PARROT VOICE - SAM (O.S.)

Shoot to kill, and ask questions later.

TRACK WITH GILLIGAN

as he picks up a stick and tries to get the parrot to perch on it. Mr. Howell, Skipper, and Professor follow him.

GILLIGAN

Here, little parrot. Here. Huh.

PARROT VOICE - SAM (O.S.)

Sam's a pretty parrot. Isn't Sam a pretty parrot?

SKIPPER AND GILLIGAN

GILLIGAN

His name must be Sam.

SKIPPER

Good thinking, Gilligan.

BACK TO SCENE

MR HOWELL

Then all that talk about a gangster's boat was just talk.

The parrot squawks.

GILLIGAN

Hey, I think he's trying to tell us something.

PROFESSOR

Right, and unless I miss my guess, that bird is a gold mine of information. He may be our salvation, our means of escape.

SKIPPER

Our means of escape?

PROFESSOR

Certainly. Parrots don't make things up. They repeat what they've heard. So there must be gangsters and there must be a boat.

The parrot squawks again.

MR. HOWELL

MR HOWELL

He knows something, all right.

PROFESSOR

It's up to us to get that information.

SKIPPER AND GILLIGAN

GILLIGAN

Gee, I hope this parrot is a stool pigeon.

MR. HOWELL

looks sternly at Gilligan for the pun.

SKIPPER AND GILLIGAN

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Hi, Sam.

Gilligan mimics the mouth motions of the parrot. Skipper double-takes.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO

FADE IN:

EXT. CAMP - DAY

PARROT CAGE

PULL BACK

to reveal Mr. Howell, Skipper, and Professor who sit near the parrot cage, interrogating the parrot Sam. Professor takes notes with a pencil and notepad. Gilligan stands nearby.

SKIPPER

Come on, Sam. You've got to help us.

MR HOWELL

Let's try again. Now, who's your boss?

PROFESSOR

Where's their camp?

GILLIGAN

You know, he's entitled to at least one phone call.

SKIPPER

Quiet, Gilligan.

MR HOWELL

Where's the loot?

SKIPPER

Come on, Sam. You want to talk, don't you? Don't you want to talk?

MR HOWELL

But of course he wants to talk. Don't you, Sam? Don't you-- Why doesn't that silly bird talk?

GILLIGAN

Maybe he's taking the Fifth.

SKIPPER

Quiet, Gilligan.

GILLIGAN

You know, he's at least entitled to a mouthpiece.

SKIPPER

Quiet!

GILLIGAN

And a public defender.

PROFESSOR

Perhaps there's no point in asking questions. Parrots don't think in terms of conversation. They're like tape recorders. They only repeat what they hear.

MR. HOWELL

MR HOWELL

How do you like that? Just like wives.

SKIPPER

double-takes at Mr. Howell's comment. He looks toward Professor's notes.

SKIPPER

What have we got so far?

SKIPPER, GILLIGAN, AND PROFESSOR

PROFESSOR

Well, I think we can reasonably deduce from his continuous mention of the names: Artie, Louie, Gus,...

PARROT

PROFESSOR (O.S.)

... and--uh--

PARROT VOICE - SAM (O.S.)

Syd.

SKIPPER, GILLIGAN, AND PROFESSOR

PROFESSOR

Syd.

(to parrot)

Yes, thank you.

Professor writes the name in his notes.

PROFESSOR (cont'd)

Syd. That those are the names of the men he was associated with.

SKIPPER

And that they brought stolen goods and provisions to the island in a boat.

PARROT

squawks, as if to affirm Skipper's speculation.

GILLIGAN

Hey! You got a spark out of him that time.

PROFESSOR

Yes, he certainly reacted. What did you say?

SKIPPER, GILLIGAN, AND PROFESSOR

SKIPPER

What did I say?

(to parrot)

"Stolen goods?" "Provisions?"

(to men)

What else did I say?

GILLIGAN

Nothing, except for "boat."

PARROT

squawks.

GILLIGAN

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

That's it, "boat." Sam, where's the boat? Where's the boat?

PARROT

squawks.

MR. HOWELL

MR HOWELL

Well, look, you're on such good terms with him. Why don't you ask him where's the loot?

GILLIGAN

Loot?

MR. HOWELL

MR HOWELL

Never mind, I'll ask him myself. Sam, what did they steal?

PARROT

sits silently.

MR HOWELL (O.S.)

Gold? Silver? Money?

MR. HOWELL

MR HOWELL

That's really a stupid bird.

SKIPPER, GILLIGAN, AND PROFESSOR

GILLIGAN

He is not stupid.

PROFESSOR

Maybe I better look at my notes. Perhaps I missed something.

Professor stands and walks away to study his notes.

GILLIGAN

Yeah, you missed the boat.

The parrot squawks. Skipper and Gilligan follow Professor.

MR. HOWELL

MR HOWELL

Let's see. I tried "gold," ...

PARROT

sits silently.

MR HOWELL (O.S.)

... "silver,"

(pause)

"money."

MR. HOWELL

MR HOWELL

I tried "stocks," "bonds," ...

PARROT

MR HOWELL (O.S.)

... "jewelry"...

The parrot squawks.

MR. HOWELL

notices the parrot squawked.

MR HOWELL

Didn't I say that before? Didn't I say "jewelry"?

The parrot squawks again.

NEW ANGLE

Mr. Howell sits near the parrot cage. The other men stand a dozen feet away and examine Professor's notes. They noticed that the parrot squawk and walk back over to the parrot cage.

SKIPPER

Is something wrong, Mister Howell?

Mr. Howell stands and grabs the handle on the parrot cage.

MR HOWELL

N--No, the bird is simply exhausted. He's very tired, you see. So I--I think I'll take him over to our hut and have him lie down.

Mr. Howell lifts the parrot cage, but Skipper takes the cage from him.

SKIPPER

Oh, well, there's no need to disturb Missus Howell. We'll take him over to our hut. Gilligan can sleep with him.

Skipper exits.

GILLIGAN

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Is that a boy parrot or a girl parrot?

PROFESSOR

His name's Sam, isn't it?

GILLIGAN

Oh, yeah. I was just afraid he might lay an egg.

Gilligan and Professor exit.

PUSH IN TO MR. HOWELL

who looks troubled.

FLIP TO:

INT. BOYS HUT - DAY

The parrot cage sits atop Gilligan's hammock. Gilligan rocks his hammock to lull the parrot to sleep.

GILLIGAN

"Rock a bye birdie in the tree
top
Your mom was a parrot, so was your
pop"

SKIPPER AND GILLIGAN

SKIPPER

"Why won't you tell us what we
want to know"

GILLIGAN

"The minute you do, Sam--"

GILLIGAN/SKIPPER

"Then we'll let you go!"

PARROT

squawks and flutters his wings.

SKIPPER AND GILLIGAN

GILLIGAN

Come on, Sam. Tell us where the provisions are.

SKIPPER

Will you forget the provisions? We don't need food, we need a boat.

The parrot squawks. Skipper turns to the cage.

PARROT

squawks and flutter his wings.

SKIPPER AND GILLIGAN

GILLIGAN

You see the way he jumps when you mention the word "boat"?

PARROT

squawks.

SKIPPER AND GILLIGAN

SKIPPER

Gilligan, will you stop mentioning that word? You're gonna wear him out.

GILLIGAN

Okay, Skipper. I just thought if I mentioned the stuff that was on the B-O-T-E--he might lead us to the B-O-T-E.

SKIPPER

Gilligan, it's B-O-A-T.

BACK TO SCENE

The parrot squawks. Skipper looks at the parrot and then back at Gilligan.

INT. HOWELLS HUT - DAY

Mr. Howell sits and discusses the parrot with his wife.

MR HOWELL

You know, Lovey, it's amazing, that bird's reaction. When I say the word "jewelry"--he jumps up and down and chatters a mile a minute.

Mrs. Howell carries a bouquet of flowers from the other room.

MRS HOWELL

Darling, that's just the way I react.

Mr. Howell stands and walks with Mrs. Howell to their dresser.

MR HOWELL

I know. He knows something about the gangsters' loot.

MRS HOWELL

Well, let's try to find out what it is.

Mrs. Howell removes a vase from the dresser. They walk to the table. Mrs. Howell places the flowers and the vase on the table. Then she puts one flower at a time into the vase.

MR HOWELL

I'm going to take that bird away from Gilligan and the Skipper and then I'm gonna give him a whiff of your jewelry.

MRS HOWELL

Well, what good would that do?

MR HOWELL

After he gets the right scent, I'll take him outside and we'll follow our feathered bloodhound who'll lead us right to the gangsters' buried treasure.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, darling, how clever you are. Our stay on this island may prove profitable after all.

Mr. Howell walks toward the door and stops in the doorway.

MR HOWELL

You're so right, Lovey. You know something, my dear? Once again I have proven that my brilliance is only exceeded by my greed.

FLIP TO:

INT./EXT. BOYS HUT - DAY

Skipper and Gilligan look at the parrot cage. Mr. Howell enters.

MR HOWELL

Well, well. How's our little friend? Is he--uh--rested?

Skipper and Gilligan walk over to Mr. Howell.

GILLIGAN

Yeah, he's rested, but we're worn out from asking questions.

SKIPPER

He won't tell us where the B-O-T-E is.

MR HOWELL

For shame, Skipper, that's B-O-A-T.

PARROT

squawks.

BACK TO SCENE

Mr. Howell is startled at the parrot squawk. There is a second word that causes the parrot to squawk!

GILLIGAN

No, no, Mister Howell, you've got to spell it B-O-T-E, or it drives him crazy.

Mr. Howell walks over to the parrot cage.

MR HOWELL

Yes, perhaps he doesn't feel well.

(whispers to parrot)

Jewelry.

PARROT

squawks.

SKIPPER AND GILLIGAN

are also startled at the parrot squawking.

BACK TO SCENE

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Well, no wonder he doesn't talk. There's a splinter in his little foot.

Mr. Howell picks up the parrot cage from Gilligan's hammock.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

That can be very, very painful.

GILLIGAN

Gee, that's too bad.

MR HOWELL

Well, yes, I'll just take him over to Missus Howell. She used to be a nurse's aid. Come along, Sam. Uncle Thurston will fix you. It smarts, too.

Mr. Howell exits with the parrot cage.

GILLIGAN

Bye, Sam.

FLIP TO:

INT. HOWELLS HUT - DAY

Mr. Howell and Mrs. Howell stand in front of their table. On the table sits Mrs. Howell's jewelry box. Mr. Howell holds a string of pearls. The parrot stands on the table and stares and Mr. Howell.

MR HOWELL

We know they didn't steal pearls.

MRS HOWELL

Are you sure?

MR HOWELL

It's process of elimination. Now, when you come up with something the bird likes, you see him react. Lovey, trot out the rest of your jewels.

Parrot squawks.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Now do you know why I'm sure?

Mrs. Howell dumps the remainder of the jewelry box onto the table.

PARROT

walks along the tabletop and squawks. The string of pearls and sparkly jewelry sit on the table, along with the jewelry box. The parrot doesn't notice any particular piece. Then the parrot squawks.

MRS. HOWELL AND MR. HOWELL

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

He walked around the emerald, turned up his nose at the ruby, didn't like the-- Whoops! Oh, he likes that big diamond.

PARROT

walks to the big diamond.

MR HOWELL (O.S.)

He loves that big diamond.

CLOSEUP PARROT

Parrot puts his beak down next to the big diamond.

MRS. HOWELL AND MR. HOWELL

MR HOWELL

He ate that big diamond!

The parrot flies across the room.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Come back here!

MR. HOWELL

chases the parrot around the hut. Mr. Howell gets down on his hands and knees just as the parrot walks disappears behind their dresser. Mr. Howell crawls around to the other side, but lost track of the parrot. He stands.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Lovey, did you see--

Mrs. Howell walks to the dresser and looks for the parrot. Mr. Howell notices something and points to draw Mrs. Howell's attention to it. It is bird feathers!

ZOOM IN TO FEATHER

on a shelving unit in the next room that Mr. Howell mistakes for the parrot. Hat boxes, blankets, and other items are stored on the shelves.

MR. HOWELL AND MRS. HOWELL

creep up to the beads separating the two rooms.

NEW ANGLE

Mr. Howell charges for the feathers, but there isn't a parrot attached to them. Mrs. Howell's hat boxes fall to the floor.

BACK TO SCENE

The boxes fall to the floor. Mr. Howell grabs the bamboo woven hat with feathers attached from the shelf and brings it to Mrs. Howell. The parrot squawks.

PARROT

sits on the back of a chair.

BACK TO SCENE

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Don't say anything, Lovey. Don't say anything.

MRS HOWELL

But--

MR HOWELL

Don't say anything.

Mr. Howell shushes her. He walks backward toward the parrot. Mrs. Howell puts the bamboo woven hat with feathers on.

MR. HOWELL

backs up slowly, ready to pounce on the parrot.

BACK TO SCENE

Mr. Howell pounces, but the parrot no longer sits on the chair. Mr. Howell looks around, up, and back around for the parrot. He walks over to Mrs. Howell and looks around.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Lovey, where did he go?

MRS HOWELL

He flew under the bed.

Mrs. Howell adjusts her hat.

MR HOWELL

But, why didn't you say something?

MRS HOWELL

You told me not to.

Mr. Howell turns and walks toward the bed. Mrs. Howell readjusts her hat.

MR. HOWELL

gets down on his hands and knees again and looks under Mrs. Howell's bed. He hits his head on something and cries out!

MRS. HOWELL

MRS HOWELL (cont'd)

Thurston!

MR. HOWELL

holds his nose in pain. He looks back under the bed.

PARROT

walks on the floor between the Howell's beds.

MR. HOWELL

looks up and sees the parrot climbing onto his bed.

PARROT

sits in his cage.

MR. HOWELL

crawls over Mrs. Howell's bed toward his own bed.

PARROT

grasps the bamboo poles comprising the cage and slowly climbs upward.

MR. HOWELL AND PARROT CAGE

MR HOWELL

Oh, he wanted to get in his little cage. Now give me that diamond back.

MRS. HOWELL

MRS HOWELL

Thurston, Ginger and Gilligan are headed this way.

MR. HOWELL

MR HOWELL

Nobody's getting this bird until I get back my diamond.

Mr. Howell picks up the parrot cage from his bed and sets it on the floor between the beds.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Lovey, here, give me a hand.

MRS. HOWELL

rushes to help him.

MR. HOWELL AND MRS. HOWELL

Mr. Howell unfurls a blanket to put over the parrot cage. Mrs. Howell helps him cover the cage.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Here we are. Cover it up.

MRS HOWELL

That will put him to sleep.

GINGER

enters, followed by Gilligan.

MRS. HOWELL AND MR. HOWELL

stand next to the blanket-covered parrot cage, acting as innocently as they are able.

GILLIGAN AND GINGER

Ginger wears a tiny nurse's hat.

GINGER

I--I just heard about poor little Sam's foot.

GILLIGAN

Yeah, she took a course in first aid. She wants to help.

Ginger nods.

MRS. HOWELL AND MR. HOWELL

MR HOWELL

The thing that happened was most distressing, you see. Missus Howell was removing the splinter...

PARROT

escapes the parrot cage.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

...and the patient in the operating room ran away.

GILLIGAN AND GINGER

GINGER

He ran away? With a sore foot?

MRS. HOWELL AND MR. HOWELL8

MRS HOWELL

Yes, it was pathetic seeing the poor little thing limping around.

GILLIGAN AND GINGER

GILLIGAN

We'd better organize a search party. Without Sam, we'll never find the boat.

Gilligan and Ginger turn to leave.

PARROT

squawks and flutters his wings.

GILLIGAN AND GINGER

hear the sound and turn back toward the Howells.

MRS. HOWELL AND MR. HOWELL

Mr. Howell coughs, trying to cover for the parrot squawks.

MR HOWELL

These huts are so drafty.

The Howells look around to see if they can see the parrot.

GILLIGAN AND GINGER

GINGER

Oh, Mister Howell, you'd better watch that cough. It sure sounded strange.

MRS. HOWELL AND MR. HOWELL

MR HOWELL

Oh, no, no, I'm all right. Why don't you and Gilligan...

PARROT

walks behind their night stand.

MR HOWELL (O.S.)

...go--go look for the bird?

GILLIGAN AND GINGER

GILLIGAN

Yeah, yeah. And you know something? We'd better find something to carry him in ...

PARROT

climbs into a picnic basket under the Howell's dresser.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

...with a bad foot and all.

GINGER

That's a good idea, Gilligan.

GILLIGAN AND GINGER

GILLIGAN

Mister Howell, can we--can we borrow your birdcage, huh?

MRS. HOWELL, MR. HOWELL AND GILLIGAN

MRS HOWELL

Oh, Gilligan, that's a wonderful idea.

MR HOWELL

Lovey! Lovey! I've never heard of such a ridiculous thing.

GILLIGAN

What's ridiculous about borrowing a bird case for a bird?

MR HOWELL

The last time, the bird got the splinter...

PARROT FEATHER

sticks out from the picnic basket and slips inside.

MR HOWELL (O.S.)

...in the paw and the pain--

MRS. HOWELL, MR. HOWELL, GILLIGAN, AND GINGER

GILLIGAN

What should we use?

MR HOWELL

What should you use?

Mr. Howell walks over to the dresser, leans down, and picks up the picnic basket from under the dresser.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Oh, yes. Here. Use this, Gilligan. Use that.

Mr. Howell hands the parrot basket to Gilligan.

GILLIGAN

A picnic basket?

Mr. Howell ushers Gilligan and Ginger toward the door.

MR HOWELL

It's not a picnic basket, it's a--it's a--it's a "parrot basket."

GILLIGAN

But I've never heard of a "parrot basket" before.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, I'd never be without one.

MR HOWELL

They're really marvelous, yes.

Gilligan and Ginger exit.

EXT. CAMP - DAY

Gilligan carries the picnic basket. He and Ginger walk toward the jungle. Ginger stops him.

GINGER

Gilligan, you go get the Skipper, and I'm going to make some hot water.

GILLIGAN

What for?

GINGER

Well, I don't know, but every movie I was in, I always made hot water before I did an operation.

Gilligan looks puzzled. Ginger turns and exits. Gilligan look back in Ginger's direction and exits the other way.

INT. HOWELLS HUT - DAY

Mrs. Howell and Mr. Howell stand next to their dresser.

MRS HOWELL

That was a close one.

MR HOWELL

Too close for comfort.

Mr. Howell walks to the parrot cage on the floor between their beds. He removes the blanket covering it.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Well, Sam, my boy, are you coming out or am I going--

He lifts the cage and looks in, only to discover the cage is empty. He glances and Mrs. Howell.

EXT. CAMP - DAY

SKIPPER

calls out for the parrot.

SKIPPER

Sam! Pretty Sam!

BACK TO SCENE

Gilligan carries the picnic basket with the hidden parrot. He walks behind Skipper.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Sam? Pretty Sam.

The parrot squawks. Skipper looks around for the parrot. Gilligan stays behind Skipper.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Sam? Pretty Sam?

PARROT VOICE - SAM (O.S.)

Sam, pretty Sam. Sam. Pretty Sam.

Skipper turns and looks at Gilligan. Gilligan places the picnic basket on the ground and then opens it. Skipper kneels next to the basket.

SKIPPER

Right here in the basket!

The parrot climbs out of the basket and perches on the edge.

GILLIGAN

Mister Howell was right. It is a "parrot basket."

SKIPPER

And look what else is in the basket.

Skipper reaches in and pulls out Mrs. Howell's large diamond that the Parrot swallowed earlier.

MR. HOWELL

rushes from the jungle to them.

PULL BACK TO SCENE

MR HOWELL

Why, it's Missus Howell's big diamond!

GILLIGAN

In a parrot box?

MR HOWELL

It's a combination parrot box...

PARROT

flutters his wings and squawks.

MR HOWELL (O.S.)

...and jewel box.

SKIPPER AND GILLIGAN

GILLIGAN

You hear that, Skipper? He not only squawks when you say "boat," but when you say "jewels."

PARROT

flaps his wings and squawks.

MR. HOWELL

MR HOWELL

Egad, my secret is out.

SKIPPER AND GILLIGAN

SKIPPER

Jewels.

GILLIGAN

Jewels.

SKIPPER

Jewels.

GILLIGAN

Jewels.

BACK TO SCENE

SKIPPER

Jewels.

GILLIGAN

Jewels.

SKIPPER

Jewels.

GILLIGAN

Jewels.

SKIPPER

Jewels.

GILLIGAN

Jewels.

SKIPPER

Jewels?

GILLIGAN

See, Skipper?

SKIPPER

Jewels. Jewel--

GILLIGAN

Yeah. Oh, look. Look.

The parrot backs down the outside of the basket and walks along the sand.

SKIPPER AND GILLIGAN

SKIPPER

He's trying to tell us something. Let's follow him.

BACK TO SCENE

GILLIGAN

Okay. Skipper--

Skipper, Mr. Howell, and Gilligan follow the parrot.

EXT. JUNGLE - DAY

PARROT

walks along the jungle path.

PAN UP

Professor picks up coconuts from the ground. He notices the parrot. Skipper, Mr. Howell, and Gilligan approach him. The follow the parrot. Professor drops his coconuts and follows the others.

EXT. CAVE ENTRANCE - DAY

Parrot walks up to the cave entrance. The Skipper, Mr. Howell, Gilligan and Professor approach the parrot. The parrot walks into the cave.

INT. CAVE - DAY

PARROT

walks across the floor of the cave.

PAN UP

The men look around at the cave.

SKIPPER

I've never seen this cave before.

GILLIGAN

Maybe this is where the gangsters hid their boat and jewels.

The parrot squawks.

PARROT

squawks.

PROFESSOR

picks up a newspaper from the cave.

PROFESSOR

Say, look at this. Look at this old newspaper.

The other men gather around Professor.

PROFESSOR (cont'd)

"Bandits rob San Francisco art museum."

GILLIGAN

You see, Sam was right about the gangsters.

PROFESSOR

Yeah, but look at the date: "April 10, 1906."

SKIPPER

Oh, no, this whole thing is ancient history. I mean, the boat, the bandits, the jewelry, everything.

PARROT

squawks.

BACK TO SCENE

MR HOWELL

Wait a minute. If they robbed an art museum, perhaps the treasure is buried here and that's why the bird gets upset when he hears the word "jewels."

The parrot squawks.

GILLIGAN

Look, ...

PARROT

scratches at the dirt.

GILLIGAN (O.S.)

... he's digging up something. Look!

MR HOWELL (O.S.)

Come on, let's help him.

BACK TO SCENE

The men go to the spot where the parrot scratched at the dirt. The Skipper, Gilligan, and Professor kneel and dig. Skipper finds a box.

MR HOWELL

Wait a minute, the jewels must be in there.

Skipper pulls the box out of the dirt.

MR. HOWELL AND SKIPPER

SKIPPER

It's a jewel box, all right.

JEWEL BOX

is labeled "Jewel." Skipper wipes off more dirt. Under the dirt is the label "Crackers."

SKIPPER (cont'd)

"Jewel Crackers."

MR. HOWELL AND SKIPPER

MR HOWELL

Crackers.

Mr. Howell cries out, almost as if he's in pain.

BACK TO SCENE

Skipper tosses the box aside and it opens.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

I cannot--I refuse to believe it.

Gilligan looks at the content of the box.

GILLIGAN

sits back and opens a package of crackers. He tastes one.

PARROT

PARROT VOICE - SAM (O.S.)

Sam wants a cracker. Sam wants a cracker.

GILLIGAN

nibbles on the cracker. He hands the rest of the cracker to the parrot.

PARROT

takes the cracker and nibbles on it.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT TWO

TAG

FADE IN:

EXT. BOYS HUT - ESTABLISHING SHOT - NIGHT

PARROT VOICE - SAM (O.S.)

Sam wants a cracker. Sam wants a cracker.

INT. BOYS HUT - NIGHT

PARROT

in parrot cage.

PARROT VOICE - SAM (O.S.)

Sam wants a cracker.

UPPER HAMMOCK ANGLE

lie awake in their hammocks.

SKIPPER

Gilligan, your parrot wants another cracker.

GILLIGAN

Skipper, I already gave him fifteen crackers.

PARROT VOICE - SAM (O.S.)

Sam wants a cracker.

SKIPPER

You'd better make it sixteen, or we'll never get any sleep.

GILLIGAN

Okay. Skipper.

Gilligan rolls out of the hammock.

LOWER HAMMOCK ANGLE

Gilligan presses on Skipper as he rolls out of his hammock. Skipper cries out.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Sorry, Skipper.

SKIPPER

Yes, Gilligan.

Gilligan walks over the parrot cage, picks up a cracker, and places it through bars. Gilligan returns to their hammocks. He's about to step up, but stops.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Gilligan, as soon as you get back in your hammock, that bird's gonna want another cracker. Why don't you give him the whole box so we can both get some sleep?

GILLIGAN

You're a real smart man, Skipper.

SKIPPER

Of course I am, Gilligan.

Gilligan walks back to the parrot cage and puts the rest of the crackers in the parrot cage. He returns to their hammocks. He steps on Skipper as he climbs into his own hammock. Skipper cries out.

UPPER HAMMOCK ANGLE

GILLIGAN

Well, that was a great idea. That'll keep him quiet.

SKIPPER

Of course it will, Gilligan. It just takes a little common sense and logic.

GILLIGAN

Well, I never would have thought of it.

SKIPPER

Gilligan, that's why I'm the skipper. So I can solve the problems as they come up.

GILLIGAN

You sure solved that one. Sam's got all the crackers. What else could he want now?

Gilligan puts his hat over his face.

PARROT

PARROT VOICE - SAM (O.S.)

Sam wants a drink of water.

GILLIGAN AND SKIPPER

are both startled. Gilligan removes his hat from his face.

LOWER BUNK ANGLE

Skipper pokes Gilligan's back through the hammock. Gilligan tumbles from his hammock down onto Skipper. They both tumble to the floor.

PARROT VOICE - SAM (O.S.) (cont'd)

Sam wants a drink of water.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. GILLIGAN'S ISLAND - ESTABLISHING SHOT

FADE OUT.

THE END