Gilligan's Island Script
Episode #24, "Return of Wrong Way Feldman"
(The castaways are revisited by 'Wrongway' Feldman.)




				GILLIGAN'S ISLAND

			  "Return of Wrong Way Feldman"

					by

				Lawrence J. Cohen

					And

				   Fred Freeman 

								March 13, 1965

				TEASER

FADE IN: 

STOCK SHOT - PALM TREES - OVERLAY CREDITS

CUT TO: STOCK SHOT OF BIPLANE FLYING

CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE HILL TOP - DAY

	The skipper, professor and Gilligan are on a high ridge 
	that surrounds the Lagoon. The sound of an airplane can 
	be heard as the skipper is looking through the bamboo 
	telescope.

				SKIPPER
			There's the plane! Ah ha! The plane!

				GILLIGAN
			Oh yeah let me see let me see!

	Gilligan looks through telescope.

CUT TO: CIRCULAR MASKED STOCK SHOT OF BIPLANE FLYING

CUT TO: CIRCULAR MASKED CLOSE UP WRONG WAY

CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE HILL TOP - DAY

				GILLIGAN
			Oh yeah it is a plane! Oh oh! It's Wrong Way 
			Feldman! He's come… 

	Gilligan stands back up and start to fall backwards 
	down side of the ridge.

				GILLIGAN
			…Baaaaaack!

FLIP TO: EXT - CLEARING - DAY - COCKPIT VIEW - FORWARD

	From Wrong Way's view point over the airplane's engine 
	cowling, the castaways can be seen in the clearing 
	waving and cheering. They start to get out of the way 
	as the plane moves closer.

				All
			Hey Wrong Way! It's good to see you!
			Oh Wrong Way!

CUT TO: WIDE SHOT - CLEARING

	The castaways have gotten out of the way as Wrong Way 
	taxi's his plane and makes a left turn just before 
	coming to the edge of the clearing. The engine is 
	sputtering and comes to a halt as the castaways work 
	there way around to the side of the plane. Gilligan is 
	seen climbing onto the lower left wing as they greet 
	Wrong Way.

CUT TO: CLOSE SHOT - WRONG WAY - CASTAWAYS

	The castaways gather near the plane as Wrong Way is 
	unstraping and stands up in the cockpit.

				GILLIGAN
			It's good to see ya!

				WRONG WAY
			Awe tha…thanks professor thanks!

				PROFESSOR
			Girls why don't ya fix Wrong Way something to 
			eat.

				GINGER
			OK

				MARY ANN
			Alright!

				PROFESSOR
			What about help!? Are they going to send a 
			boat out after us!?

	Wrong Way ignores the professor's question.

				WRONG WAY
			You wouldn't believe what a trip I had. I 
			liked to crash! I was attacked by a giant 
			Eagle! 

				MRS HOWELL
			An Eagle, Oh how dreadful!

				WRONG WAY
			Yeah, I almost shot it down till I saw it was 
			one of ours! American!

				SKIPPER
			Alright alright Wrong Way but, what about the 
			rescue!

	Again he ignores the question.

				WRONG WAY
			Oh boy I had some trouble! It took me almost 
			two months to get this plane off the ground! 

				GILLIGAN
			Two months?

				WRONG WAY
			Yeah it was in the cellar of a museum! I had 
			a devil of a time getting it through the 
			door! Th…the stairs were alright but the door 
			was so narrow!

				PROFESSOR
			Wrong Way are they going to send a boat after 
			us?

				GILLIGAN
			So we can be rescued!

				MR HOWELL
			Di…did you notify any authorities?

				WRONG WAY
			Certainly not! What in the world would I do a 
			thing like that for?

				GILLIGAN
			So we can get off the island!

				WRONG WAY
				(DREAMILY)
			And leave this paradise?

				SKIPPER
			You mean to say that, nobody knows that 
			you're here!

				WRONG WAY
			Ah to tell the truth, I don't where I am.

				MRS HOWELL
			Then we're not going to be rescued?

				WRONG WAY
			Course not. And you can be sure that nobody 
			followed me either. I…I flew with my light 
			off.


				MR HOWELL
			Wa…wa…tell me eh, why did you come back here?

				WRONG WAY
			To get away from that horrid thing that you 
			call civilization. Oh you can have the modern 
			world. Rush rush rush, push push push! I 
			don't want no part of it!

				GILLIGAN
			But we want to go home!

				WRONG WAY
			My boy. (pause)
			This is your home. (pause)
			And it's going to be mine. For the rest of my 
			life.

								FADE OUT




				ACT ONE
FADE IN

INT - SKIPPER & GILLIGAN'S HUT - DAY

				SKIPPER
			Be reasonable Wrong Way you've got to go back 
			and get help!

				WRONG WAY
			I am not leaving this here island, we are 
			better off here!

				GILLIGAN
			But Wrong Way we're home sick we miss the 
			states.

				WRONG WAY
			What's there to miss? All that hustle and 
			bustle? Th…the trains, the subways, the 
			whistles, the noise, no privacy ho ho, this 
			is the life! Earth trees grass nature!

				SKIPPER
			Bu…but when we get back you can go live in 
			Yellow stone park!

				WRONG WAY
			I tried that already. Even the bears are 
			civilized! Th…they wear boy scout uniforms, 
			put out fires!

				GILLIGAN
			Wrong Way we want to go back. Won't you think 
			about it?

				WRONG WAY
			There is nothing to think about!

				SKIPPER
			Oh but you don't want to eat Pineapples and 
			coconuts for the rest of your life!

				WRONG WAY
			Awe it's better than what I et in New York!
			Oh ho, what a restaurant that was! They 
			couldn't even get a simple little ole order 
			straight! All I asked for was a plain T-bone 
			steak! 

				GILLIGAN
			Steak?

				WRONG WAY
			Yeah, a T-bone. And what did they bring me? A 
			Filet, that thick!

	Wrong Way demonstrates the thickness to be about three 
	inches.

				SKIPPER
			That thick!?

	Skipper demonstrates the same thickness with thumb and 
	index finger.

				WRONG WAY
			I…I like mine well done you see, a…and this 
			was all red and juicy inside ah…so I sent it 
			back, and they brung me anuder, so this was 
			well done alright but they put on a lot a, 
			mushrooms and that béarnaise sauce. (pause)
			And I couldn't even get the, waitresses eye 
			sh…she was busy with some glutton. With a 
		French pastry tray, all that chocolate and 
			custard and whip cream, sick!

	Skipper is still dreaming of the steak.

				SKIPPER
			That thick?

				WRONG WAY
			All that pushin shovin I don't know what…what 
			you want to go back there for?

	Skipper is still having problems with the steak.

				SKIPPER
			Wrong Way?

				WRONG WAY
			Yeh?

				SKIPPER
				(DREAMILY)
			Tell me about that steak again?

FLIP TO: EXT - JUNGLE - DAY

	Mr. And Mrs. Howell are hiding in the jungle watching 
	Wrong Way, who is in the distance cleaning out his 
	plane.

				MRS HOWELL
			       (WHISPERING)
			Thruston I don't think we should.

				MR HOWELL
			      (WHISPERING)
			There's nothing wrong with the old fashioned 
			bribe. It's the only way I can get this 
			flying pig head to take us back to the 
			states!

				MRS HOWELL
			      (WHISPERING)
			But I don't think it's going to work, he's 
			terribly honest.

				MR HOWELL
			      (WHISPERING)
			Every man has his price, now if he rescues us 
			I'll…I'll promise him one of our oil wells.

				MRS HOWELL
			       (WHISPERING)
			Thurston you mean you'd give him one of our 
			oil wells!?

				MR HOWELL
			     (WHISPERING)
			I didn't say give I said promise to! There's 
			a difference. Don't worry about the old wolf 
			of wall street.

				MRS HOWELL
			      (WHISPERING)
			Good luck darling.

				MR HOWELL
			      (WHISPERING)
			You know me I'll handle him!

	Mr. Howell has left his hiding place and makes his way 
	to clearing where Wrong Way is.

CUT TO: CLOSE SHOT

				MR HOWELL
			I understand that your ah really serious 
			about not going back.

				WRONG WAY
			I'm sorry Howell it's something you wouldn't 
			know nothin about. It does not concern money.

				MR HOWELL
			No no no you miss judge me! Since I've been 
			on this island I've been doing a lot of 
			thinking. I don't even think about money 
			anymore. 

				WRONG WAY
			Why have we gone off the gold standard?

				MR HOWELL
			No I know your laughing at me, I agree with 
			you completely I think the world is in a 
			terrible mess, and I don't want to leave 
			either.

				WRONG WAY
			Ah you must be kindin!

				MR HOWELL
			No no no no I mean it mean it.

				WRONG WAY
			Why it's a good thing your not over there now 
			with all that spendin that buildin.

				MR HOWELL
			Must be terrible.

				WRONG WAY
			Oh with all the money wasted on the factories 
			buildins high rise apartments.

				MR HOWELL
			Awful awful.

				WRONG WAY
			And the RENTS! The land lords just rackin it 
			in!

				MR HOWELL
			Ghastly!

				WRONG WAY
			And those flimsy new apartments in New York, 
			so expensive.

				MR HOWELL
			I know I know I own one.

				WRONG WAY
			Oh yes I…I was…ah…ah surprised to find out 
			that your rents are the lowest in that whole 
			area!

				MR HOWELL
				(SADDLY)
			Me? I have the lowest rents.

				WRONG WAY
			Yeah, you will be happy to know that your 
			building is the only one still under rent 
			control! Leave the others make the money you 
			have the peace of mind! I tell ya you 
			couldn't stand it if you was there right now. 
			Why the stock markets gone crazy! People are 
			making money hand over fist. Land values are 
			soarin, an…and the new tax cut. And the bank 
		rates are goin up! I ya tell it's a sickness! 
			Money money money!

	Mr. Howell can take it no longer. With a watershed of 
	tears running down his face, Mr. Howell begs Wrong Way 
	to end the torture.

				MR HOWELL
				(CRYING)
			STOP!!! Have you no mercy?

	Wrong Way, thinking Mr. Howell is crying tears of joy, 
	hold Mr. Howell and consoles him.

FLIP TO: EXT - HUT CLEARING - DAY

	Wrong Way is seated at he table with Ginger telling her 
	what it's like back in the states.

				WRONG WAY
			…And the musicals is even worse than the 
			dramas. Now I seen seven of them back in New 
			York and there was only one that was any 
			good. Uh it had this young girl in it, uh 
			about your age.

				GINGER
			Yeah!?

				WRONG WAY
			Matter of fact she even looked like you, 
			maybe you know her, uh Debbie Dawson?

				GINGER
			      (EXCITEDLY)
			Well she was my room mate!

				WRONG WAY
			She's the toast of Broadway! I met her back 
			stage. Poor girl, with the reporters and the 
			photographers.

				GINGER
			I could've had that part if I was there.

				WRONG WAY
			Awe your lucky ya didn't. Poor kid, all the 
			time no time for herself, rushin around with 
			the movie offers and the publicity stills and 
			the interviews, what kind of life is that for 
			a young girl?

	Like Mr. Howell, Ginger can take no more and breaks 
	down. She's laid her head on the table as she sobs.
	Wrong Way tries to console her as well.

				WRONG WAY
			Oh yeah…ye…that's alright honey, you…you have 
			a good cry. I feel the same way about poor 
			Debbie. Facin a life like that.

FLIP TO: EXT - JUNGLE HILL TOP - DAY

	The skipper, Gilligan and the professor are once again 
	on the hill top where they first say Wrong Ways planes 
	earlier.

				PROFESSOR
			Well I tried talking to him too. But he's 
			determined to stay here.

				SKIPPER
			One things for sure he hasn't been good on 
			the morale around here! Ginger hasn't stopped 
			crying and Mr. Howell's threatening to jump 
			off his steamer trunk!

				GILLIGAN
			Wait a minute! I could fly that plane, Wrong 
			Way taught me how remember!?
			It's ignition, contact, choke, throttle 
			stick, flaps!

				PROFESSOR
			Say that's worth a try!

				GILLIGAN
			Or is it flaps, choke, throttle, stick 
			contact?


				SKIPPER
			Oh never mind Gilligan you couldn't make it 
			to the cockpit!

				PROFESSOR
			If there was only some reason Wrong Way had 
			to go back.

				SKIPPER
			Yes a real GOOD reason like an emergency or 
			something! Hey that's it! A doctor! Wa…when I 
			was in the Navy we had to send all the way 
			back to port for a doctor!

				PROFESSOR
			Maybe you've got something there!

				GILLIGAN
			I could pretend I was sick!

			SKIPPER
			Gilligan you won't have to pretend cause 
			you'll just mess it up! I'll take care of 
			this! You find Wrong Way while I get set!

FLIP TO: INT - SKIPPER & GILLIGAN'S HUT - DAY


	The skipper is laying in his hammock moaning with pain.
	Gilligan is seen leading Wrong Way into the hut.

				SKIPPER
			Oh! Oh!

				GILLIGAN
			There he is! Something's wrong with him!

				WRONG WAY
			Oh where does it hurt!

				SKIPPER
			Right here Wrong Way! 

	Wrong Way pokes the skipper.

				SKIPPER
			Op…ep…ep…oh!!

				WRONG WAY
			I think it might be your appendix.
			Either that or you been eatin those wild 
			radishes again.


				SKIPPER
			I think it's my appendix Wrong Way.

				GILLIGAN
			He needs a doctor!

				WRONG WAY
			Your right he needs an operation immediately!

				GILLIGAN
			We'll have to go back and get a doctor.

				WRONG WAY
			Ah not necessary I'll do it myself!

				GILLIGAN
			You can take out an appendix!?

					WRONG WAY
			Course! Under battlefield conditions.
			I done it for my old friend Buckey Lorenzo!

				SKIPPER
			Bu…but I think I need a doctor!

				WRONG WAY
			Funny, that's what Buckey said too! But it 
			come out beautifully! Of course I did make 
			the incision a little too long. But that 
			didn't bother old Buckey! He.he just wore his 
			bathin suit a little higher after that!

				SKIPPER
			Oh I…I feel great! Ya…you won't have to 
			operate after all!

				WRONG WAY
			You all say that, ya…hold him down Gilligan.

	Gilligan does what he's told and holds the skipper 
	down. Wrong Way turns away to get some medical items.

				SKIPPER
				(QUIETLY)
			What are you doing Gilligan!?

				GILLIGAN
			Don't worry skipper you'll be alright just 
			take it easy.

				SKIPPER
				(QUIETLY)
			You idiot there's nothing wrong with me!

				GILLIGAN
			Oh yeah I forgot. I've got to get you out of 
			here.

	Wrong Way steps back over to the skipper. The skipper 
	has now gotten up and is eager to leave.

				WRONG WAY
			Alright Gilligan I'll be back in a minute I 
			gotta berl these instruments.

				GILLIGAN
			Oh but how can you operate, you don't have 
			any anesthetic?

				WRONG WAY
			Oh I'll do the same thing for him I done for 
			old Buckey. Hit him behind the ear with a 
			monkey wrench.

	With that said, the skipper springs to life and decides 
	to demonstrate he's in perfect health.

				SKIPPER
			Oh but Wrong Way you won't have to, see I…I…I 
			feel great! I….look I'm dancing!!

	The skipper is hopping and prancing around to convince 
	Wrong Way he's ok.

				WRONG WAY
			Delirious already!

				SKIPPER
			Well I want to tell you I can run too! See!?

				WRONG WAY
			Well I guess now's the time!

	Wrong Way raises the wrench as though he's going to 
	knock the skipper out. The skipper sees the wrench and 
	makes his way quickly out of the hut.

				WRONG WAY
			Maybe it was the wild radishes after all.

	Wrong Way takes a look at Gilligan with a raised 
	wrench. 

				WRONG WAY
			How do you feel?

				GILLIGAN
			Fine!! Fine!

	Gilligan also runs out of the hut.

FLIP TO: EXT - HUT - DAY

	The skipper and Gilligan are quietly talking  near the 
	side of the hut as they set up yet another plan to fool 
	Wrong Way.

				SKIPPER
			Make this look good Gilligan, it might be our 
			last chance.

				GILLIGAN
			I'll do my best.

				SKIPPER
			Remember the symptoms. You got to make him 
			think that you got Bola Bola fever.

				GILLIGAN
			Yeah.

				SKIPPER
			Dry mouth.

				GILLIGAN
			Yeah.

				SKIPPER
			Stomach ache.

				GILLIGAN
			Yeah.

				SKIPPER
			Dizziness.

				GILLIGAN
			Yeah.

				SKIPPER
			Ringing ears

				GILLIGAN
			Yeah.

				SKIPPER
			Sore head.

				GILLIGAN
			Oh Yeah. I hope I look bad enough.

				SKIPPER
			Don't worry Gilligan just be yourself.


				WRONG WAY
			      (OFF SCREEN)
			Mary Ann!! 

CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE - DAY

	Wrong Way is walking through the jungle looking for 
	Mary Ann. 

				WRONG WAY
			Mary Ann! (pause)
			You got any of that fried coconut left?


CUT TO: PREVIOUS SHOT

	The skipper and Gilligan are ready to spring their 
	deception on Wrong Way. The skipper gives Gilligan a 
	pat on the back for encouragement.

				SKIPPER
			Get going.

				GILLIGAN
			Yes sir.

	Gilligan has taken on a sickly appearance and starts 
	wheezing as he makes his way towards Wrong Way.

CUT TO: EXT - CLEARING - DAY

	Gilligan begins his wheezing and is walking in a 
	labored way as he encounters Wrong Way. Wrong Way 
	notices Gilligan and becomes concerned.

				WRONG WAY
			Ah…oh Gilligan. What is it!?

	Gilligan begins wheezing more intently now.

				GILLIGAN
				(LABORED)
			Oh I feel terrible!

				WRONG WAY
			Wha…wha…wha…what's wrong!?

				GILLIGAN
				(LABORED)
			Oh…oh I got a dry mouth…

CUT TO: CLOSE UP GILLIGAN'S HAND

	We see that the five major symptoms are written on 
	Gilligan's fingers.

				GILLIGAN
				(LABORED)
			…ahhhhh stomach ache dizziness ringing ears 
			and a sore head yeah that's it!

CUT TO: PREVIOUS SHOT

	The skipper walks on camera faking concern for 
	Gilligan.

				SKIPPER
			Gilligan! Little buddy! You look awful what's 
			the matter!?

				GILLIGAN
				(LABORED)
			I got a dry mouth…

	Gilligan stops in mid sentence as he realizes the 
	skipper already know.

				GILLIGAN
			…You know!

				WRONG WAY
			I seen him staggering along I don't know.

				SKIPPER
			Wha…wha…what do you think Wrong Way!

	Wrong Way helps Gilligan sit down at the table.

				WRONG WAY
			Ah…ah…ah could be ah jungle fever, then 
			again…

	Wrong Way starts to poke at Gilligan.

				WRONG WAY
			…does it hurt here?

	Gilligan tries to repress his laughter at being 
	tickled.

				GILLIGAN
			Ooo ooo ooo yeah! Ooo yeah!

				WRONG WAY
			I mean really hurt?

				GILLGIAN
 			real bad real bad!

				WRONG WAY
			I don't believe it I don't believe it!

				SKIPPER
			Fever!? 

				WRONG WAY
			No no it's another appendicitis you better 
			get my monkey wrench!

				SKIPPER
			Oh no! I think your wrong Wrong Way 

	The skipper feels Gilligan's forehead.

				SKIPPER
			He…he's hot!

				GILLIGAN
			Oh I'm burning up! I'm on fire I'm on fire!

				SKIPPER
			Bola Bola fever!

				WRONG WAY
			I…I thought it was Bola Bola fever but he 
			don't have all the symptoms!

				SKIPPER
			He doesn't!?

				WRONG WAY
			No no…no!

				SKIPPER
			What are some of the other ones!?

				WRONG WAY
			Well, fainting spells for…

	Gilligan suddenly faints and falls to the ground.

				SKIPPER
			It's serious Wrong Way!

				WRONG WAY
			No it's not as serious, it's probably 
			just a, twenty four hour Bola Bola.

				SKIPPER
			Well how do you know!?

				WRONG WAY
			Because with a serious Bola Bola you get 
			nose bleeds!

	Gilligan has a horrified look on his face on 
	hearing that. The skipper picks up Gilligan and 
	is about to take him aside.

				SKIPPER
			We'll be right back!

	The skipper is about to take Gilligan away to add 
	a little realism to Gilligan's symptoms.

				WRONG WAY
			No…no…no that's tropical Bola Bola fever! No 
			with the Bola Bola you just have the 
			fainting!

	Gilligan drops to the ground one more time.

				SKIPPER
			He's getting worse! He needs help!

				WRONG WAY
			Your right, maybe the professor can fix him 
			up huh!

				SKIPPER
			Wrong Way he needs a doctor!

				WRONG WAY
			Wa… that would mean goin back to Hawaia. I'll 
			have to think that over. Goin back to Hawaia?

	A look of desperation comes over Wrong Way's face as 
	we…

								FADE OUT





				ACT TWO
FADE IN:

EXT - HUT CLEARING - DAY

	The skipper and Gilligan are sitting at the table 
	contemplating what to do next.

				GILLIGAN
			Skipper, if I see Wrong Way, do I have to 
			faint again?

				SKIPPER
			No you did it enough yesterday.
			We haven't convinced him by now it's just no 
			use.

				GILLIGAN
			Good I hate to faint, it hurts when you hit 
			the ground.

	Mary Ann walks on camera carrying a bamboo pole with 
	large gourds on the ends filled with water.

				MARY ANN
			Good morning!

				SKIPPER
			Well there's not much…

				GILLIGAN
			Good morning.

				SKIPPER
			Oh good morning Mary Ann.

				MARY ANN
			Where's Wrong Way? Isn't he having breakfast?

				GILLIGAN
			He's probably asleep.

				MAY ANN
			Oh no he isn't I went down to wake him and he 
			wasn't there!

				SKIPPER
			Well maybe he's down at the Lagoon!

				MARY ANN
			Oh, ok, your coffee will be ready in a 
			minute.
			
				PROFESSOR
				(OFF SCREEN)
				Hey!

	At hearing the professor, Mary Ann turns to look and 
	hits the skipper with one of the gourds splashing 
	water. The professor comes running on camera carrying a 
	bamboo pole with a white piece of paper attached to the 
	end.

				PROFESSOR
			Gilligan! Everybody he's gone!

				SKIPPER
			Who's gone!?

				PROFESSOR
			Wrong Way! He's gone to get help!

				GILLIGAN
			Oh it worked it worked!

	Mr. Howell comes running on screen.

				MR HOWELL
			Wha…wha…what's all this excitement!?

				PROFESSOR
			It's Wrong Way, I found this note at the 
			clearing!

				MR HOWELL
			Yes well read it.

	The professor takes the note and starts to read…

				PROFESSOR
			Listen. BEING A MAN OF CONSCIENCE AND 
			PRINCIPLE, I FOUND MYSELF FACED WITH A 
			DIFFICULT…

				MR HOWELL
			Never mind the memoirs, get to the important 
			part!

				PROFESSOR
			Aaaah…AND SO, AND SO I DECIDED THAT 
			GILLIGAN'S LIFE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY 
			SELFISH NEEDS. THUS I HAVE GONE TO THE MAIN 
			LAND. IT'S A FAR FAR BETTER THING I DO. BE 
			RIGHT BACK!

				MRS HOWELL
			Ooooh! Thurston we're going to be rescued!

				MR HOWELL
			Yes, unless he's gone the wrong way 
			again!  It is a possibility!

FLIP TO: EXT - HUT CLEARING - DAY

	All the castaways are seated around the dining table 
	with their suitcases and bags packed, waiting for Wrong 
	Way's return.

				MRS HOWELL
			     (DEPRESSINGLY)
			I wonder what's taking him so long!

				GINGER
			Hope he can find Hawaii.

				MARY ANN
			I wonder if they'll send a boat or a plane.

				MR HOWELL
			Where he landed they'll probably send a 
			kayak.

				SKIPPER
			You know the first thing I do when I get back 
			is I'm going to have a thick juicy steak!

				MARY ANN
			Gee I can hardly wait to see my mother I've 
			never been gone this long without calling 
			her.

				GILLIGAN
			Me too.

				GINGER
			I can't wait to see my name up in lights. 
			Ginger Googenhiemer.

				GILLIGAN
			Isn't your name Ginger Grant?

				GINGER
			Yeah but if my names going to be in lights, I 
			want as many lights as I can get.

				SKIPPER
			Oh…I think I'll have a nice ice cold beer 
			too!

				PROFESSOR
			I just want to sleep in a nice soft bed.
			What are you going to do Mr. Howell?

				MR HOWELL
			Double the rent!

				MRS HOWELL
			Awe Thurston!

				MR HOWELL
			Is that wrong Lovey?

				MRS HOWELL
			Well of course it is! Triple the rent!

	Suddenly an airplane can be heard by the castaways.

CUT TO: STOCK SHOT OF BIPLANE

CUT TO: PREVIOUS SHOT

				SKIPPER
			A plane!

				GILLIGAN
			I think I see Wrong Way's plane!

				SKIPPER
			Lets go towards the clearing!

	The castaways are totally excited and are making 
	exclamations ad lib as they rush their way towards the 
	clearing where Wrong Way is going to land.

FADE TO: EXT - CLEARING - DAY - COCKPIT VIEW - FORWARD

	As in the beginning, the castaways have gathered in the 
	clearing where Wrong Way has landed his plane. We can 
	see the castaways from Wrong Ways view point in the 
	cockpit waving and cheering.

CUT TO: CLOSE SHOT - WRONG WAY

	The castaways are standing next to the plane as Wrong 
	Way unstraps from the cockpit and stands up.

				GILLIGAN
			Hey Wrong Way! You made it back!

				WRONG WAY
			Mission accomplished!

				GINGER
			Awe you did it Wrong Way you did it!

				WRONG WAY
			Oh please…please. Ah bein a man of conscience 
			and principle, I found myself faced…

				MR HOWELL
			What is that your graduation speech! We've 
			heard that before!

	Wrong Way reaches into the plane and brings out a 
	bottle of something. While giving Mr. Howell a dirty 
	look.

				WRONG WAY
			Well here you are Gilligan.

				GILLIGAN
			What is it?

				WRONG WAY
			The Bola Bola serum.

				PROFESSOR
			Well what about a doctor isn't someone 
			following you?

				WRONG WAY
			Certainly not! I had a heck of a time gettin 
			that without bein noticed!

				SKIPPER
			You mean you didn't contact anyone!?

				WRONG WAY
			And give up our privacy!? Your lucky nobody 
			seen me leave! I had to take off behind a 
			pack of pelicans!

				GINGER
			You mean nobody knows we're here!?

				WRONG WAY
				(HAPPILY)
			Not from me!!

	Ginger lets out a moan and faints.

				WRONG WAY
			Oh…fainted huh? 

	Mrs. Howell on seeing Ginger faint, faints herself.

				WRONG WAY
			Ahhhh…it's a good thing I got back in time, 
			looks like an epidemic!

FADE TO: EXT - JUNGLE RIDGE - DAY

	The skipper, Gilligan and the professor are back on top 
	of the ridge with the telescope. The professor is 
	looking through the telescope at the horizon.

				GILLIGAN
			See anything professor?

				PROFESSOR
			No not yet.

				SKIPPER
			We should keep looking. Somebody might have 
			followed him.

				GILLIGAN
			Here I'll take over for a while.

	Gilligan starts looking through the telescope as the 
	professor had done.

				PROFESSOR
			Boy I was sure Wrong Way was going to come 
			back with a doctor.

				SKIPPER
			In our state of mind he should have brought 
			back a psychiatrist!

	Gilligan was scanning the interior of the island and 
	not the oceans horizon.

				GILLIGAN
			Hey there's Wrong Way!

CUT TO: CIRCULAR MASKED CLOSE UP - WRONG WAY AGAINST TREE

				SKIPPER
				(OFF SCREEN)
			Wonderful.

				GILLIGAN
				(OFF SCREEN)
			He's leaning up against a tree.

				PROFESSOR
				(OFF SCREEN)
			Well I guess he's got what he wants.

				SKIPPER
				(OFF SCREEN)
			Peace and serenity. 

CUT TO: PREVIOUS SHOT

				SKIPPER
			Oooo what I wouldn't give for a little NOISE!

				GILLIGAN
			Me too. I miss all the shoving and shouting 
			and pushing.

				PROFESSOR
			I could use a little of that myself. Saturday 
			night at the library. The hustle and the 
			bustle at the reference desk.

				SKIPPER
			Give Wrong Way a little hustle bustle. Shake 
			him up a bit!

				PROFESSOR
			Say what if we did give Wrong Way a little 
			hustle bustle?

				GILLIGAN
			He'd get so mad he'd leave the island!

				SKIPPER
			That's IT! We'll give him exactly what he's 
			been complaining about! We'll make this 
			island twice as bad as civilization!

				PROFESSOR
			He'll sure be glad to get out of here!

				SKIPPER
			RIGHT!!

FLIP TO: STOCK SHOT OF OCEAN BEACH EARLY MORNING

FADE TO: INT - HUT - MORNING

	We see Wrong Way sleeping in his hammock as a terrible 
	noise of construction is heard.  The noise is making 
	Wrong Way toss and turn. The noise finally wakes up 
	Wrong Way who is confused about what he hears. He gets 
	up and starts to head outside.

PAN/FOLLOW TO: EXT - HUT CLEARING - MORNING

	We see Wrong Way as he heads out of the hut and we see 
	the construction project that the skipper, Gilligan and 
	the professor are working on complete with hammering 
	and sawing. Wrong Way walks out to the construction 
	site with a confused and agitated expression.

				WRONG WAY
			What's goin on here!!

				SKIPPER
			Well everybody up, it's time to work!

CUT TO: EXT - CLEARING - MORNING

				WRONG WAY
			WORK!?

				SKIPPER
			Well certainly, didn't you know? We're trying 
			to build a city!

				WRONG WAY
			A city?

				PROFESSOR
			Sure, just like back home.

				GILLIGAN
			Yeah we got to get civilized.

				WRONG WAY
			Ah…fine, you'z fellas get civilized I'm goin 
			back to bed.

				SKIPPER
			Just a minute Wrong Way not so fast!

	The skipper picks up a sledge hammer.

				SKIPPER
			Now you take this sledge and get over there 
			and start driving those stakes in.

				WRONG WAY
			Why me!!

				SKIPPER
			Everyone does his part!

				WRONG WAY
			Wha…wha…What's your part!?

				SKIPPER
			My part is to see that you do your part, I'm 
			the foreman now start driving that stake in 
			the ground! 

	Wrong Way gives the skipper a dirty look and takes the 
	sledge hammer to where the stake is. He makes an 
	attempt to drive the stake in, but because the sledge 
	is so heavy, wrong Way falls over as we…

FADE TO: EXT - CLEARING - DAY

	Wrong Way is seen pedaling a bicycle power unit that is 
	driving a fifty gallon drum lying on it's side. Ginger 
	is standing beside him watching.

				GINGER
			You better hurry up with the clay. The 
			professor's waiting to bake the bricks.

				WRONG WAY
				(EXHAUSTED)
			Ah this is the first time I ever been in a 
			six day clay race.

	Just then a Conch shell horn can be heard blowing.

				WRONG WAY
			What's that?

				INGER
			Coffee break.

				WRONG WAY
				(EXHAUSTED)
			Thank goodness.

	Wrong Way stops pedaling and wants to take a rest.

				GINGER
				(FRANTIC)
			Hey don't stop! The clay is hardening!

	Wrong Way starts pedaling again, As he lets out a groan 
	of exhaustion.

				WRONG WAY
			How am I gonna drink my coffee!?

				GINGER
			I'll get it for you. Don't slow down, the 
			clay'll harden.

	Ginger walks over and comes back with a soup ladle made 
	from a coconut with a bamboo shaft. 

				GINGER
			Here you are.

	She holds it for Wrong Way as he takes a sip. Wrong Way's 
	reaction to the coffee is one of revolt.

				WRONG WAY
			That's awful!! What is that!?

				GINGER
			It's coffee!

				WRONG WAY
			It's coffee!!?

				GINGER
			Oh we make it from fish! I mean the instant's 
			not as good as the regular but…here.

	She tries to give Wrong Way another taste.

				WRONG WAY
			No I don't want anymore!

	Ginger notices that Wrong Way is at his breaking point 
	and decides to push him even further.

				GINGER
			SKIPPER! He's ready!

				WRONG WAY
			A little cream cheese on a roll?
			A prune Danish?

	The skipper carrying more clay powder walks from the 
	jungle and starts to pour it in the drum for Wrong Way 
	to stir. Wrong Way has stopped his pedaling.

				SKIPPER
			Well come on don't stop pumping wrong Way 
			there's lots more clay where this came from!

	Wrong Way starts again and is getting extremely tired. 
	Ginger helps Wrong Way by pushing his legs up and down

				SKIPPER
			Pump, that's it pump!

FLIP TO: EXT - JUNGLE - DAY

	We open by seeing a hand made sign that reads "FREEWAY 
	UNDER CONSTRUCTION" as Mr. And Mrs. Howell are off 
	screen in a wooded part of the island. Gilligan brings 
	Wrong Way over to the Howells.

				GILLIGAN
			OK Wrong Way, you work here for a while on 
			the freeway.

				WRONG WAY
			Freewa…What do we need a freeway for we…we 
			don't even have one single car!!?

				MRS HOWELL
			Well we can't let everything go to the last 
			minute!

				GILLIGAN
			Mr. Howell is in charge see you later!

	Gilligan walks off camera as Wrong Way is now stuck 
	helping the Howells.

				MR HOWELL
			Oh ah you're the new man Aye?

				WRONG WAY
			Oh I ain't never done this kind of work 
			before.

				MRS HOWELL
			You'll adore it!! Getting down to mother 
			earth! There's nothing like the feeling of 
			dirt against your opera gloves!

				WRONG WAY
			FREEWAY!!

				MRS HOWELL
			Well how else are we going to get down to the 
			new music center!?


				MR HOWELL
			Ah not to mention the art museum and the city 
			hall, you see it's part of our slum clearance 
			project!

	Mr. And Mrs. Howell are raking the ground when they get 
	their rakes locked together.

				MRS HOWELL
			Ooooo darling how marvelous! We haven't even 
			finished the freeway and we've had our first 
			accident!

				MR HOWELL
			     (TO WRONG WAY)
			Just don't stand there get to work!

	Mr. Howell hands Wrong Way an axe.

				WRONG WAY
			An Axe!?

				MR HOWELL
			Yes you have to work over here you see, and 
			when you finished chopping that tree down 
			(pause) there's fifteen more just like it 
			over there!

FLIP TO: EXT - JUNGLE – EVENING
		
	Wrong Way is seen dragging himself through the jungle. 
	We pan along with him as he comes into the clearing. He 
	barely manages to stager over to a table and sit down. 
	Mary Ann is present and is cleaning up dishes from 
	dinner.

				MARY ANN
			Well how'd it go Wrong Way are you finished?

				WRONG WAY
				(VERY TIRED)
			Just about.
			What's for supper?

				MARY ANN
			Soup and salad, fish oh yes and uh, Ginger 
			made one of her delicious deserts.

				WRONG WAY
			Oh great cause I'm almost starved!


				MARY ANN
			Awe, to bad you missed it!

	Mary Ann takes away something Wrong Way found on the 
	table and is trying to eat. Wrong Way breaks down and 
	starts to cry.

CUT TO: INT - SKIPPER & GILLIGAN'S HUT - NIGHT

	Gilligan and the skipper are in side by side hammocks 
	with Wrong Way in the middle between them. The hammocks 
	are lightly swinging back and forth and nearly touch 
	Wrong Way with every swing.

				GILLIGAN
			Tired huh Wrong Way?

				WRONG WAY
				(SARCASTIC)
			What ever gave you that idea.

				SKIPPER
			Ah that's one thing that's so nice about the 
			islands. Peace and quiet. No traffic noises 
			to wake you up. No noisy neighbors.

				WRONG WAY
			Wha…can't you two shut up and get a little 
			sleep!

				GILLIGAN
			Good night Wrong Way.

				WRONG WAY
			Ah yeah.

				SKIPPER
			Good night Wrong Way.

	Wrong Way does not respond.

				SKIPPER
			I said good night!

				WRONG WAY
			Good night already!

				GILLIGAN
			Skipper, do you mind if I read?

				SKIPPER
			No not at all.


				GILLIGAN
			How about you Wrong Way?

				WRONG WAY
				(MUMBLED)
			no no

	Gilligan lights his lantern and then places it on Wrong 
	Ways chest so he can see to read.

				WRONG WAY
			Hey what is this a hut or a light house!!

				GILLIGAN
			I don't want to hurt my eyes.

	Gilligan opens a comic book and starts to read.

				GILLIGAN
			Let's see. 
			Reggy stood at the door way, his finger on 
			the trigger of a snub nose thirty eight. His 
			eyes were transfixed…(pause)
			Hey skipper? What does this mean here?

	Gilligan leans over to the skipper and points to some 
	words in the comic book. He's definitely invading Wrong 
	Ways space.

				SKIPPER
			What?

				GILLIGAN
			Here.

				SKIPPER
			Where?

	Wrong Ways had enough.

				WRONG WAY
			Do you mind!?

				SKIPPER
			I'm not sure Gilligan.

				WRONG WAY
			Please, I gotta get some sleep!!

				SKIPPER
			Alright Gilligan, turn off the light.

	Wrong Way lets out a moan. Gilligan, now having 
	turned off the light, reaches over and pulls out 
	an apple. He starts eating it with loud crunching 
	sounds.

				WRONG WAY
			What is it an Earth quake!?

				GILLIGAN
			No it's an apple, do you want one?

				WRONG WAY
			No.

				SKIPPER
			Oh hey you got any carrots over there?

				GILLIGAN
			No, I got some celery.

				SKIPPER
			Oh good.

	Gilligan hands the skipper an entire stalk of 
	celery. The skipper starts to eat the celery, 
	again with a loud crunching sound.

				WRONG WAY
			Couldn't you eat a nice quiet banana?
			Get some SLEEP!

				SKIPPER
			Oh Wrong Way? You can sleep late 
			tomorrow morning.

				WRONG WAY
			I can!?

				SKIPPER
			Sure tomorrow's Saturday.

				WRONG WAY
				(EXCITEDLY)
			Oh that's wonderful! Wonderful! 
			Tha…thank you skipper! Thank you! It's 
			wonderful I can sleep! I can sleep!

	Gilligan and the skipper are still making 
	horrible crunching sounds when suddenly Wrong Way 
	sits up with a depressed look on his face.

				GILLIGAN
			What's the matter?

				WRONG WAY
			I'm too excited, I can't sleep!

FADE TO: EXT - HUT CLEARING - MORNING

	All the castaways are sitting around the table 
	talking about Wrong Way.

				PROFESSOR
			Where is he now?

				SKIPPER
			Well he's probably down at the lagoon, I 
			haven't let him wash in three days.

				MR HOWELL
			Well I HOPE he's down there!

				GILLIGAN
			He better break pretty soon or we will.

				MR HOWELL
			I can't work anymore, I've got to get 
			excused tomorrow. I…I promise Lovey will 
			give me a note.

				PROFESSOR
			Well we got to keep this up, even at our 
			own expense.

CUT TO: WRONG WAY IN COCKPIT

CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE CLEARING - MORNING

	Wrong Way is seen in his airplane preparing for 
	takeoff.

CUT TO: EXT - HUT CLEARING - MORNING

				MARY ANN
			Isn't that Wrong Way's plane?

				PROFESSOR
			Yes it must be!

				SKIPPER
			Come ON!

				MR HOWELL
			Lovey, run…run!

	All the castaways spring from the table and run 
	out of the clearing and into the jungle.

CUT TO: WRONG WAY IN COCKPIT

CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE CLEARING - MORNING

	The castaways have just missed Wrong Way as they 
	enter the clearing which is still blowing with 
	dust and dirt from the departing Wrong Way.

				SKIPPER
			Happy FLIGHT!!

CUT TO: STOCK SHOT BIPLANE FLYING

CUT TO: CLOSE UP WRONG WAY IN COCKPIT

CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE CLEARING - MORNING

	The castaways are still standing in the clearing 
	watching Wrong Way airplane.

				GILLIGAN
			Well, there he goes!

				MRS HOWELL
			This time I hope he tells somebody!

				PROFESSOR
			Why shouldn't he? No reason to keep it a 
			secret. We don't have a paradise anymore!

				SKIPPER
			Well even if he doesn't tell anyone 
			we'll still be rescued!

				GINGER
			We will?
				GILLIGAN
			Sure, the skipper loaded that plane with 
			maps and notes, somebody's bound to 
			find'em!

CUT TO: STOCK SHOT BILPLANE DOING A ROLL

CUT TO: PREVIOUS SHOT

				SKIPPER
			I didn't think we were ever going to get 
			off this island but, this time it's in 
			the bag! Even Wrong Way can't mess it up!

				MARY ANN
			Oh it's too good to be true!

				GINGER
			Imagine we're really going home!

				MR HOWELL
			Oh that crazy wonderful fool, I'll give 
			him that oil well even if it is a dry one!

CUT TO: STOCK SHOT BIPLANE FLYING UPSIDE DOWN

CUT TO: CLOSE UP WRONG WAY UPSIDE DOWN

CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE CLEARING – MORNING

	Gilligan and the others are still watching Wrong 
	Way fly over head and out of view.

				GILLIGAN
			Good luck Wrong Way!!

	We can hear the plane fly over head as we…



								FADE OUT



				EPILOG
FADE IN

EXT - HUT CLEARING - DAY


	Everyone is seated at the table except Gilligan.

				GINGER
			Anybody want anything to eat?

				MARY ANN
			Oh we should have heard something by now he's 
			been gone three days.

				PROFESSOR
			Well I'm afraid there's always the 
			possibility he could have crashed.

				SKIPPER
			Yes I thought about that but I was afraid to 
			say anything.

				MRS HOWELL
			Oh no he couldn't have!

				MR HOWELL
			Well don't worry dear, he's probably covered!

				PROFESSOR
			Well…I'm sure at least he tried.

				GINGER
			Oh yes, we have to give him credit for 
			trying.

	Suddenly Gilligan comes running on camera with a bottle 
	in his hand.

				GILLIGAN
			Hey skipper! Skipper skipper! 

				SKIPPER
			What is it!?

				GILLIGAN
			    (OVERY EXCITED)
			A note, there's a note from Wrong Way!!
			In a bottle! I found it down there at the 
			beach!

				SKIPPER
			Let me see that!

	The skipper takes the bottle and removes the note and 
	starts to read it.

				SKIPPER
			I CHARTED MY COURSE FOR HONOLULU BUT ODDLY 
			ENOUGH I LOST MY BEARINGS WHEN I FLEW INTO 
			THE EYE OF A VIOLENT CLOUD.

FADE TO: WRONGE WAY WITH HULA DANCERS

	Wrong way is seen sitting up against a tree as two Hula 
	dancers with their backs to the camera dance for him. 
	Another native woman is attending Wrong Ways needs. 
	This continues as the skipper reads the note.

				SKIPPER
			SOMEHOW I LANDED ON A BEAUTIFUL TROPICAL 
			ISLAND AND HAVE FINALLY FOUND THE PARADISE I 
			WAS LOOKING FOR.

			ALTHOUGH I'M PROBABLY NOT AS HAPPY AS YOU 
			ARE, IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME. MAYBE NEXT TIME 
			I'LL MAKE IT TO HONOLULU.

FADE TO: PREVIOUS SHOT

				SKIPPER
			BEST WISHES W. W. FELDMAN
			Well that's it! He left us high and dry!

	Gilligan can be seen reading the bottle the note came in.

				GILLIGAN
			Skipper? We got more trouble.

	The skipper has a startled reaction.

				SKIPPER
			Wha…what!?

				GILLIGAN
			It says, RETURN THE EMPTY.

	Everyone is looking at Gilligan as we…

								FADE OUT

				END CREDITS



GILLIGAN'S ISLAND
"Return of Wrong Way Feldman"   
Rev.  03/13/65