TEASER

FADE IN:

EXT. OCEAN - ESTABLISHING SHOT - DUSK

INT./EXT. BOYS HUT - NIGHT

ZOOM IN to hut window and PUSH THROUGH to reveal that GILLIGAN and SKIPPER lay in their hammocks. Gilligan lies in the top bunk and Skipper lies in the lower bunk. Skipper tries to sleep, but Gilligan excitedly discusses Skipper's exploits.

GILLIGAN

Skipper, I just can't stop thinking about it. I just can't. Boy, the way you played that fish, two hours. You must be tired.

SKIPPER

(drowsily)

I am. That's why I'd like to get some sleep, Gilligan. Good night.

Skipper closes his eyes.

GILLIGAN

Good night, Skipper.

SKIPPER

We'll talk about it later, okay?

GILLIGAN

Okay. Good night.

Gilligan remains wide awake and mulls it over.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

When?

Skipper opens his eyes.

SKIPPER

When what?

GILLIGAN

When will we talk about it?

SKIPPER

(frustrated)

Gilligan, we'll talk about it in the morning, okay?

GILLIGAN

Okay.

SKIPPER

Good night.

GILLIGAN

Good night. That sure was a beautiful fish. Boy, it must've weighed a hundred pounds. You see the way it leaped out of the water and dove down to the bottom. The way you reeled him in and played him out. And reeled him in and played him out. Too bad you lost him.

SKIPPER

(angrily)

Gilligan, not another word about that fish. Not another word about anything. Now go to sleep!

GILLIGAN

Good night.

HUT WINDOW

through which a gorilla appears. He moves up to the window and grasps the bars over the window and peers in to the hut.

BACK TO SCENE

A gorilla-shaped shadow appears across Gilligan's face. The shadow makes Gilligan think there is something on this face and he tries to brush it away. He glances over to the window.

HUT WINDOW

where the gorilla still stands. The gorilla looks around the interior of the hut until he makes eye contact with Gilligan.

BACK TO SCENE

Startled at seeing the gorilla, Gilligan drops his jaw, but does not speak. Gilligan swallows hard.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Skipper!

Gilligan sits up slightly and reaches down from his bunk and urgently nudges Skipper.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Skipper! Skipper!

Skipper wakes, startled.

SKIPPER

Who's Skipper? Gilligan, you woke me up again.

HUT WINDOW

The gorilla drops out of view.

GILLIGAN (O.S.)

There's a gorilla in the window.

BACK TO SCENE

Skipper turns and looks toward the window.

HUT WINDOW

through which Skipper sees the camp clearing and jungle foliage, but no gorilla.

BACK TO SCENE

Both look toward the window.

GILLIGAN

He was there, Skipper. Honest, I saw him.

SKIPPER

Well, he's not there now. You must've dreamt him.

GILLIGAN

How could I dream it? I wasn't even sleeping.

SKIPPER

Gilligan, please just go to sleep and dream that it isn't there.

GILLIGAN

Okay.

Skipper closes his eyes. Gilligan lies back in his bunk, but doesn't close his eyes. A gorilla-shaped shadow falls on Gilligan again.

HUT WINDOW

The gorilla stands and looks in the window. He grasps the bars and looks around the interior of the hut. He sees Gilligan.

BACK TO SCENE

Gilligan feels the gorilla staring at him. He turns toward the window and is startled to see the gorilla again. He drops his jaw silently. He closes his mouth and swallows hard.

HUT WINDOW

The gorilla looks at Gilligan intently.

BACK TO SCENE

Gilligan swallows hard.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

I sure am glad you're a dream.

FADE OUT

END OF TEASER

ACT ONE

FADE IN:

INT./EXT. HOWELLS HUT - NIGHT

MR. HOWELL and MRS. HOWELL sleep in their beds. On the night stand sits a large jeweled brooch. A gorilla appears at the window over their night stand. It looks in the window and spots the jeweled brooch. As it reaches for it, Mrs. Howell turns over in her sleep. She touches the Gorilla's arm.

MRS HOWELL

Darling, you need a shave.

The GORILLA is startled that she touched him and he GRUNTS.

MRS HOWELL (cont'd)

And you say you never snore.

Mrs. Howell rolls back over. The gorilla picks up the brooch and examines it. He keeps the brooch and disappears.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. GILLIGAN'S ISLAND - ESTABLISHING SHOT - DAY

INT. HOWELLS HUT - DAY

Mr. Howell, on his hands and knees, looks under his bed for the missing brooch. Having searched, he stands up.

MR HOWELL

Well, it's -- it's not on the floor. Are you sure you didn't wear it to bed, darling?

MRS HOWELL

Oh, no, dear. I know I left it on that nightstand. It is insured, isn't it?

MR HOWELL

Well, that won't do us any good financially.

MRS HOWELL

Why not?

MR HOWELL

We own the insurance company.

MRS HOWELL

Yes, of course. But, darling, I'd be heartbroken anyway if we didn't find it. After all, you gave it to me as a wedding present.

MR HOWELL

Yes, it has been in the family for generations. It's a piece of jewelry Queen Isabella gave to Columbus.

Mr. Howell folds his arms across his chest.

MRS HOWELL

But you never told me that. How did it get in the Howell family?

MR HOWELL

Well, I'm not sure. They must have foreclosed the mortgage on the Niña, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria. You did have it on at dinnertime.

MRS HOWELL

Yes. Don't you know, you had to change your seat because it was reflecting the evening sun.

MR HOWELL

Yes, forty-eight karats does throw a glare. Besides, it kept melting the butter. Are you sure you didn't wear it after that?

MRS HOWELL

No, no, no. I know I left it on that nightstand.

Mrs. Howell walks over to the night stand.

MR HOWELL

Well, don't panic, darling. We'll find it somewhere.

Mr. Howell joins her and continues the search for the missing brooch.

FLIP TO:

EXT. CAMP - DAY

MED. SHOT - GILLIGAN

Gilligan kneels at a small fire. Over the fire is a wire grill on which sits a small frying pan. Gilligan holds two plates with stacks of pancakes. One stack is tall. The other is short. Gilligan uses a spatula to remove a pancake from the frying pan.

GILLIGAN

Skipper, you want syrup?

SKIPPER (O.S.)

Sure.

FOLLOW Gilligan has he stands and carries the plates over to a nearby tree. The tree has a tap, which is corked. Gilligan removes the cork from the tap. Tree sap gushes out. Gilligan moves the plates to catch the tree sap on the pancakes. The stream of sap quickly slows to a dribble. Gilligan hits the bark of the tree.

GILLIGAN

This tree needs a refill.

Gilligan replaces the cork. Gilligan carries the plates of pancakes over the table where Skipper sits. Gilligan places the plate with the small stack of pancakes in front of Skipper and the plate with the large stack of pancakes in front of himself.

SKIPPER

I sure am hungry.

Skipper observes that Gilligan gave himself the large stack of pancakes.

GILLIGAN

Yeah.

SKIPPER

Well, if I ate like that, I'd see gorillas at night, too.

Gilligan exchanges the plates.

GILLIGAN

Oh, uh, be my guest.

Skipper smiles at him.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

But I did see a gorilla.

SKIPPER

And I tell you, you didn't.

GILLIGAN

I did.

SKIPPER

You didn't.

GILLIGAN

I did.

SKIPPER

You didn't.

GILLIGAN

I did.

SKIPPER

All right, you did.

Gilligan is unnerved.

GILLIGAN

Would you please go back to "didn't"?

Gilligan notices something emerging from the jungle and hides under the table.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

It's the gorilla!

GINGER AND MARY ANN

emerge from the jungle. Each carries a basket with berries. Ginger's basket contains blueberries and Mary Ann's basket contains blackberries. PULL BACK to reveal Skipper and the table.

GINGER

Morning, Skipper.

MARY ANN

Morning, Skipper!

GINGER

I picked some blueberries for breakfast.

MARY ANN

I picked some blackberries, too.

Gilligan pokes his head out from under the table.

SKIPPER

You're just in time, girls. I was about to give Gilligan the raspberry.

GILLIGAN

I think I'll go get some coconut milk for the pancakes.

Gilligan exits.

GINGER

What's the matter with Gilligan, Skipper?

Skipper scowls in frustration.

EXT. JUNGLE - DAY

Gilligan walks through the jungle looking up at coconut trees to find a suitable one. He finds one and shakes it.

GORILLA

looks toward Gilligan through the jungle undergrowth.

BACK TO SCENE

Gilligan jumps and tries to reach the tree's coconuts. He can't reach them and tries shaking the tree again. A coconut drops from the tree and hits Gilligan on the head. Gilligan winces, grabs his head, turns around to look for the fallen coconut, walks over to it, and crouches down to pick it up. As he picks it up, the gorilla spreads the leaves of the plant he's hiding behind. The gorilla releases the leaves and conceals himself.

GILLIGAN

drops the coconut and spreads the leaves. He peers into the plant leaves. The gorilla stares back at Gilligan. The gorilla ducks out of view as Gilligan releases the leaves and turns away, not believing what he's seen.

GILLIGAN

Please be a dream. Please.

Gilligan spreads the leaves again and sees the gorilla. The GORILLA GRUNTS. The gorilla disappears from view as Gilligan releases the leaves.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Skipper! Skipper! Ski--

Gilligan charges toward the jungle path, but the gorilla emerges from the jungle there. Gilligan turns around quickly but the gorilla grabs him by the shoulders.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Skipper! Skipper!

Gilligan protects himself by turning his back to the gorilla. The gorilla pushes Gilligan face-first against the coconut tree.

EXT. CAMP - DAY

Mary Ann, Skipper, and Ginger enjoy breakfast at the small square table. The girls eat berries while Skipper drinks from a coconut cup.

GILLIGAN (O.S.)

Skipper! Skipper!

The girls look toward the jungle. Skipper is annoyed.

EXT. JUNGLE - DAY

The gorilla has Gilligan pinned face-first to the coconut tree.

GILLIGAN

Skipper! Skipper! Skipper!

The gorilla retreats into the jungle. A large palm leaf touches Gilligan's neck.

EXT. CAMP - DAY

Mary Ann, Skipper, and Ginger enjoy breakfast at the small square table.

GILLIGAN (O.S.)

Skipper!

SKIPPER

Gilligan. He can't even pick coconuts by himself.

Skipper rises and walk toward the jungle path to find Gilligan.

EXT. JUNGLE - DAY

MED. SHOT - GILLIGAN

Gilligan stands face-first against the coconut tree. The large palm leaf touches his neck.

FOLLOW Skipper as he walks along the jungle path.

SKIPPER

Little buddy, where are you?

GILLIGAN (O.S.)

Skipper! Skipper!

SKIPPER

Gilligan!

Skipper runs toward Gilligan. Skipper finds Gilligan standing face-first against the coconut tree with a large palm leaf at his neck.

GILLIGAN

(to absent gorilla)

You better watch out because I'm the Skipper's buddy and he'll take you apart.

(to Skipper)

Skipper!

Skipper casually walks around the tree so Gilligan can see him and leans against the coconut tree.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Watch out, Skipper, he's mean and vicious!

SKIPPER

Who is mean and vicious?

GILLIGAN

The gorilla.

Skipper looks around and doesn't see a gorilla.

SKIPPER

What gorilla?

GILLIGAN

The gorilla that's got me pinned by the neck against the tree.

Skipper shakes the palm leaf to show Gilligan what has him "pinned" to the tree.

SKIPPER

Gilligan, a palm leaf has you by the neck.

GILLIGAN

He was here, Skipper. He's big, black, and furry, and goes --

Gilligan growls like a gorilla.

SKIPPER

Gilligan, stop that! First you see gorillas in your sleep. Now you're seeing them in the daytime. What you need is a psychiatrist.

GILLIGAN

I bet if I see one, he has long, hairy arms.

Frustrated, Skipper walks toward the jungle path.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Hey, wait for me.

Gilligan follows Skipper.

SKIPPER

Gilligan.

Skipper mutters as he walks on the jungle path toward camp.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Can't even pick coconuts on your own.

EXT. CAMP - DAY

FOLLOW Skipper and Gilligan as they walk into camp from the jungle path. PULL BACK to reveal Mr. Howell.

MR HOWELL

We've searched the hut three times, and it's still missing.

PULL BACK to reveal Professor and Ginger sitting at the small square table. A large bowl of berries sits on the table between Professor and Ginger. Mary Ann stands nearby.

GINGER

We'll be glad to help you look for it, Mister Howell.

MR HOWELL

That is not the point, Ginger.

Skipper and Gilligan join the group.

MARY ANN

(to Skipper and Gilligan)

Mrs. Howell's diamond brooch has been missing since last night.

GILLIGAN

How can such a big thing like that disappear?

MR HOWELL

The brooch is not where Missus Howell put it. It is not in our hut. Now, do I make myself clear?

PROFESSOR

Are you suggesting that one of us took it?

MR HOWELL

I'm not suggesting anything like that. However, that might not be such a bad suggestion.

PROFESSOR

Mister Howell, we don't have to listen to such an accusation.

Professor rises from the table and exits.

SKIPPER

And that goes for me, too.

Skipper exits.

MARY ANN

I'm surprised at you, Mister Howell.

Mary Ann exits.

GINGER

"None proclaim their innocence so loudly as the guilty." I don't know if that fits, but it's from a movie I was in.

Ginger rises from the table and exits.

GILLIGAN

Mister Howell, I'm sure I didn't take it. I'm even sure the others didn't.

MR HOWELL

Well, the fact is the brooch is still missing.

GILLIGAN

Well, maybe Missus Howell lost it.

MR HOWELL

She's absolutely sure she put it on the night side table. She's one hundred percent positive. She's one hundred percent absolutely certain. However, maybe she made a mistake. In that case, I'd better apologize.

GILLIGAN

Should I tell them?

MR HOWELL

No, no. I'll do better than that, Gilligan. I'll make an offer of a reward to anyone who finds it.

GILLIGAN

A reward?

MR HOWELL

That's right. Ten thousand dollars.

GILLIGAN

Ten thousand dollars? Oh!

Gilligan turns and exits.

MR HOWELL

Maybe I should've made it five.

(laughs)

It's deductible.

FLIP TO:

INT. BOYS HUT - DAY

Skipper paces. Gilligan sits on the table.

SKIPPER

I won't talk to him again as long as I live.

GILLIGAN

But he said he was sorry.

Skipper stops pacing.

SKIPPER

Well, just because he's rich, doesn't mean he can push people around.

GILLIGAN

He apologized.

SKIPPER

So what? He apologized.

Skipper folds his arms across his chest. Gilligan stands.

GILLIGAN

Not only that. He offered a reward to anyone who finds the diamond: ten thousand dollars.

SKIPPER

Ten thousand dollar reward? Well, of course, little buddy. What kind of a man would I be if I didn't accept his apology?

Skipper walks toward the door and steps on Gilligan's foot.

GILLIGAN

Ow.

Gilligan sits back on the table and grabs his foot to sooth it.

FLIP TO:

EXT. JUNGLE - DAY

Professor kneels.

PROFESSOR

(to Gilligan)

Apologized?

He retrieves a turtle egg from its nest and stands. He hands Mary Ann and then Ginger a turtle egg each.

PROFESSOR (cont'd)

(to Mary Ann and Ginger)

Here's another turtle egg.

GINGER

When I think of it, it makes my blood boil.

MARY ANN

How he could accuse us, is beyond me.

GILLIGAN

He said he's sorry.

PROFESSOR

There are times when it's too late to be sorry.

GINGER

This is one such time.

PROFESSOR

Nothing he says can make me forgive him.

Professor kneels again to look for more turtle eggs in the nest.

GINGER

Me, either.

MARY ANN

If you want to associate with him it's your business, but leave us out of it.

GILLIGAN

Okay, I won't tell you about the reward for the diamond. Ten thousand dollars.

Professor quickly stands up.

PROFESSOR/GINGER/MARY ANN

Ten thousand dollars?

Professor, Ginger, and then Mary Ann hand all of their eggs to Gilligan and exit, leaving Gilligan holding all of the turtle eggs. Since there are too many for him to hold, he drops a few on the ground and makes a face at the mess.

FLIP TO:

EXT. JUNGLE - DAY

Ginger, Mary Ann, and Professor walk along a path in the jungle looking for Mrs. Howell's brooch. Ginger notices something shiny.

GINGER

There it is!

She runs over to the shiny thing and picks it up. After quickly examining it, she's disappointed that it is not Mrs. Howell's brooch.

GINGER (cont'd)

Why does coral have to gleam like that?

Ginger tosses it away. They continue looking for the missing jewelry.

FLIP TO:

EXT. JUNGLE - DAY

The gorilla knuckles along the jungle path. He hears people coming down the path and hides off the path. Skipper and Gilligan walk along the path.

SKIPPER

Now, if they went to the spring before they went to bed they would've had to come this way.

They stop walking.

GILLIGAN

I hope we find it because if we do, we can get a new car, a sixty-foot yacht, and build a whole new marina.

SKIPPER

Gilligan, ten thousand dollars wouldn't be a down payment for any of those things.

GILLIGAN

Well, let's not look for it then.

Gilligan turns around to head back up the path, but Skipper stops him.

SKIPPER

Come here. Ten thousand dollars will help us pay for a new boat for us. And start looking.

Gilligan and Skipper scan the ground for the brooch. The gorilla emerges from the jungle growth and follows the men.

EXT. JUNGLE PATH - DAY

Gilligan walks along the jungle path. Skipper follows somewhat behind him but veers off the path Gilligan follows. The gorilla catches up to Gilligan and walks closely behind Gilligan.

GILLIGAN

I'll say one thing, Skipper. I don't care how much the reward was.

Gilligan senses there is something behind him and stops walking. The gorilla hides in the jungle underbrush.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

I wouldn't be out here alone with a gorilla on the loose.

Gilligan spins around to find an empty path behind him.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Skipper! Skipper!

Skipper quickly appears beside Gilligan.

SKIPPER

What's the matter, Gilligan? Did another banana leaf attack you?

GILLIGAN

I know you don't believe me, but there was a gorilla.

SKIPPER

Oh, stop that talk. Come on.

Skipper leads Gilligan further down the jungle path. Skipper stops at a tree.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

There isn't a gorilla within five thousand miles of here. Now, let's look for that diamond.

PAN UP the palm tree to find the gorilla hanging onto the tree well above their heads. The men continue walking down the jungle path. The gorilla jumps down from the tree and follows the men down the path.

EXT. JUNGLE PATH - DAY

Skipper, Gilligan, and the gorilla walk single file down the jungle path. Skipper stops walking.

SKIPPER

They had to take one or the other of these paths. I'll take this one, and you take that one. I'll meet you at the spring.

GILLIGAN

Oh, no, Skipper. But, Ski --

SKIPPER

Now, Gilligan, just keep thinking of that ten thousand dollar reward. Start looking.

Skipper takes the right fork and exits. Gilligan stays on the left fork. Gilligan walks cautiously down the path. He senses something behind him. The gorilla stays slightly behind him.

GILLIGAN

I thought you were gonna take the other path.

Gilligan reaches down and feels the fur on the gorilla's arm. The gorilla sniffs Gilligan's hand.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Don't play tricks on me.

Gilligan turns, sees the gorilla, and panics.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Skipper! Skipper! Skipper!

The gorilla flees into the jungle underbrush.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Skipper! Skipper! Skipper! Skipper!

Skipper runs up to Gilligan.

SKIPPER

What is it, little buddy? Did you find the diamond?

GILLIGAN

No, but I saw it.

SKIPPER

You're not gonna tell me about that gorilla again.

GILLIGAN

I won't tell you about it, but I saw something that frightened me.

SKIPPER

Well, what was it?

GILLIGAN

It's about this tall, has long hairy arms, kind of walks like this, weighs two hundred and fifty pounds. Maybe it's a bird.

Skipper stammers.

SKIPPER

A -- a -- a bird? It sounds like a gorilla!

GILLIGAN

A gorilla!

Gilligan jumps into Skippers arms.

FLIP TO:

EXT. GILLIGAN'S ISLAND - ESTABLISHING SHOT - NIGHT

FLIP TO:

EXT. CAMP - NIGHT

Mrs. Howell and Mr. Howell stand near the edge of the camp clearing. Between them a coconut torch on a bamboo pole burns brightly.

MRS HOWELL

They searched every place and can't find it.

MR HOWELL

Yes, I know that, Lovey, but you see after some of the things I said this morning ...

GORILLA

watches the Howells from a vantage point in the jungle.

MR HOWELL (O.S.)

... whoever found it might find it embarrassing to return it.

BACK TO SCENE

MR HOWELL

Now, here's the plan. We're going to turn out both torches, you understand. And whoever has the diamond can leave it on the table, and no questions will be asked.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, Thurston, you're so clever about these things. I'm sure if you'd been a detective, you'd have caught the fugitive by now.

MR HOWELL

Yes, I think I would have. Now, Lovey, when I tell you, you turn out the torch, all right?

Mr. Howell walks to the dining table where the other castaways sit patiently. A similar coconut torch on a bamboo pole illuminates the dining table.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Oh, I know that you're all very tired. I appreciate your searching, but I have a little plan. Now, here we have a ten thousand dollar reward.

(spreads the cash on the table)

We're going to turn out both torches. Whoever finds the diamond -- has found it -- can just leave it on the table and take the money, no questions asked.

PROFESSOR

Mister Howell, if we haven't got it, we haven't got it.

MR HOWELL

Well, after those foolish things I said this morning I feel someone might be a little embarrassed about returning it. Ready?

(turns to Mrs. Howell)

Okay, Lovey.

Mrs. Howell places a hollowed out gourd over the coconut torch near her. After Mrs. Howell's torch is extinguished, Mr. Howell places a shallow bowl over the other torch. The scene becomes dark and Mrs. Howell disappears from view.

MRS HOWELL (O.S.)

Stop that. What are you doing?

Mrs. Howell screams.

MR. HOWELL

relights his torch.

MR HOWELL

Lovey!

MRS. HOWELL'S TORCH

remains covered with the gourd. Mrs. Howell screams.

BACK TO SCENE

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Where's Lovey? Lovey's gone!

PROFESSOR

It's a gorilla!

EXT. JUNGLE PATH - NIGHT

The gorilla carries Mrs. Howell over his shoulder as he lumbers up the jungle path. Mrs. Howell kicks and screams. The gorilla turns and looks at the other castaways.

EXT. CAMP - NIGHT

MR. HOWELL

MR HOWELL

He's got her!

Mr. Howell motions for the others to follow him.

BACK TO SCENE

Mr. Howell chases after the gorilla and heads for the jungle path. Professor, Skipper, Gilligan, and then Mary Ann and Ginger follow Mr. Howell toward the jungle path.

EXT. JUNGLE PATH - NIGHT

The gorilla runs down the jungle path with Mrs. Howell over his shoulder. Mr. Howell pursues them. Professor, Skipper, Gilligan, Mary Ann and Ginger follow.

MR HOWELL

Lovey!

PROFESSOR

Missus Howell!

SKIPPER

Missus Howell, we're coming!

MARY ANN

Missus Howell!

FADE OUT

END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO

FADE IN:

EXT. GILLIGAN'S ISLAND - ESTABLISHING SHOT - NIGHT

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. JUNGLE PATH - NIGHT

Mr. Howell carries a torch and searches the jungle for his captured spouse.

MR HOWELL

Lovey!

Professor follows him with his own torch.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Lovey!

Mr. Howell exits.

PROFESSOR

Missus Howell!

Professor exits.

EXT. JUNGLE PATH - NIGHT

Elsewhere, Skipper and Gilligan search the jungle for Mr.s Howell. Each carries their own torch.

SKIPPER

Missus Howell!

GILLIGAN

Missus Howell!

SKIPPER

Missus Howell!

GILLIGAN

Missus Howell!

They stop walking.

SKIPPER

Oh, little buddy, I'll never ever doubt what you say again. That gorilla you saw really was a gorilla.

GILLIGAN

I'm sorry, Skipper. I should've let him be a dream. Missus Howell!

SKIPPER

Missus Howell!

In the near-dark, Skipper and Gilligan turn toward each other and bump. Gilligan smiles sheepishly. Skipper points down the jungle path.

GILLIGAN/SKIPPER

Missus Howell!

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. GILLIGAN'S ISLAND - ESTABLISHING SHOT - DAY

EXT. TRAP - DAY

PROFESSOR

uses a handsaw to cut bamboo poles on a small section of a log. He rests his foot on top of the pole to hold it against the log. FOLLOW Professor as he walks over to a trap that Skipper and Gilligan help him build. Professor places the pole on the trap as a bar. Professor and Gilligan lash the pole to the trap. Skipper works on the other side of the trap.

PROFESSOR

He's not only strong, but he's smart, too. We'll have to camouflage this well to fool him.

GILLIGAN

If you put a bunch of bananas in here, I'd go get them.

SKIPPER

That's right, Gilligan. But as the Professor just pointed out, the ape is smart.

Professor looks at Gilligan with a hint of a smile.

MR. HOWELL

walks down toward the trap. He looks fatigued. His tie is loose. He appears tired. He carries a bamboo walking stick that has worn down to half of its original size. Mr. Howell staggers over the men building the trap. He reaches Professor, who supports him. Skipper and Gilligan turn their attention to Mr. Howell.

MR HOWELL

No trace of Missus Howell and that beast. I've searched every inch of this island.

PROFESSOR

Well, as soon as we finish this trap, we'll go again, Mister Howell.

MR HOWELL

Carry me, will you?

Skipper and Professor each support an arm of Mr. Howells' as they walk away from the trap.

PROFESSOR

I'm making a map of the island.

Professor pulls a folded paper map from his left back pocket. Gilligan tries to leave the cage, but finds that his finger is bound into the trap when they added the last bamboo pole.

GILLIGAN

Some trap. It's not even finished and it caught me.

SKIPPER, MR. HOWELL, AND PROFESSOR

look at the Professor's map.

PROFESSOR

Now, there's gotta be a logical and scientific way to figure out where that gorilla lives.

SKIPPER

The only problem is, Professor, the gorilla doesn't know anything about logic or science.

Gilligan freed himself and joins the others.

GILLIGAN

Skipper, you have to think like a gorilla.

SKIPPER

Think like a gorilla?

GILLIGAN

Yeah, I understand animals and get along with them. Let's see, now, if I was a gorilla, where would I take Missus Howell?

Gilligan imitates a gorilla and grunts.

SKIPPER

Gilligan, we're busy here. Now, go over there and do your gorilla thinking.

GILLIGAN

The caves!

PROFESSOR

Of course, the caves!

MR HOWELL

It's amazing!

SKIPPER

My little buddy does think like a gorilla.

MR HOWELL

He even looks like a gorilla.

Mr. Howell turns toward the caves.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Let's go. Come. Follow me. I know the way.

Gilligan continues to imitate a gorilla and makes gorilla noises.

SKIPPER

Gilligan. Stop that, now. Come on.

Gilligan and Skipper follow Mr. Howell and Professor toward the caves.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. CAVE - DAY

ZOOM to Mrs. Howell as she attempts to communicate with the gorilla just inside the entrance to the cave where the gorilla has confined Mrs. Howell.

MRS HOWELL

Get away from me. Really, don't you think you're carrying this joke a little too far?

INT. CAVE - DAY

MRS. HOWELL AND GORILLA

MRS HOWELL

Step aside and let me pass.

The GORILLA GRUNTS like a raspberry.

MRS HOWELL (cont'd)

Your parents certainly didn't bring you up very well. Do you know who I am? I'm the wife of Thurston Howell the Third.

The gorilla screeches and charges at her. Mrs. Howell backs up to the rear wall of the cave.

MRS HOWELL (cont'd)

Really! You're a brute! You're rude! Go away.

The gorilla makes noise, turns toward the cave entrance with a little victory dance, and then turns back to Mrs. Howell.

EXT. CAVE - DAY

Mr. Howell runs down the jungle path toward the cave. Professor, Gilligan, and Skipper follow him.

MR HOWELL

Lovey! My Lovey! There she is! There she is! Lovey, my dear! My dear, are you all right?

Mr. Howell stops at a large boulder which lies close to the cave entrance. The gorilla stands between Mr. Howell and Mrs. Howell.

MRS HOWELL

Yes, I'm all right, but this baboon has my diamond brooch.

The GORILLA aggressively GRUNTS at her.

MRS HOWELL (cont'd)

I mean, this miniature King Kong has my brooch. He won't let me out of here.

Mr. Howell turns toward the other castaways.

MR HOWELL

That's a Howell for you. Hasn't lost her sense of humor.

(to gorilla)

Out of my way!

The GORILLA GRUNTS and matches Mr. Howell's aggression.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Sir, I am Thurston Howell the Third.

MRS HOWELL

Well, I told him that, darling, but he doesn't seem at all impressed.

MR HOWELL

I'm a Harvard man.

Mr. Howell lunges at the gorilla, but the gorilla charges back, forcing Mr. Howell to retreat. Mr. Howell runs back to the other men. The GORILLA turns and GRUNTS at Mrs. Howell.

MRS HOWELL

Good heavens! A Yale man.

GILLIGAN

He hasn't harmed Missus Howell. Maybe he likes her.

MR HOWELL

Well, I assure you she didn't run away with him.

GILLIGAN

I tell you what. I'll try to lure him out of the cave and Missus Howell can sneak past.

Mr. Howell pats Gilligan on the back.

MR HOWELL

You do that, we'll be eternally grateful.

Gilligan approaches the gorilla.

SKIPPER

We're real proud of you, Gilligan.

MR HOWELL

Go.

PROFESSOR

Careful, Gilligan.

Gilligan stops in front of the gorilla.

GILLIGAN

Hi, hi, old pal. Remember me? We held hands in the jungle, huh?.

Gilligan jumps in place like an ape. The gorilla mimics Gilligan. Gilligan scratches his sides. The gorilla mimics him scratching his sides. Gilligan scratches his head and again the gorilla mimics him. Gilligan pounds his chest Tarzan-style. The gorilla mimics him. Gilligan turns toward the men, but looks back at the gorilla.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Now follow me. Follow the leader. Come on.

The gorilla screeches and charges at Gilligan. Gilligan flees to the safety of the other men.

SKIPPER

Let's face it. That gorilla's a dumb animal. He only knows brute force. I'll threaten him with this club. I'll show him who's boss.

Skipper carries the club to the gorilla. Skipper strikes the gorilla over the head with the club. It easily breaks in two. The gorilla grabs Skipper and lifts him over his head, twirling him around before tossing him over to the men. Skipper tumbles to their feet.

GILLIGAN

Are you all right, Skipper? Now he knows who's boss, huh?

Gilligan and Professor help Skipper back to his feet.

MR HOWELL

Why doesn't he let us near her?

PROFESSOR

He's just protecting his mate, Mister Howell.

MR HOWELL

His mate? Really.

PROFESSOR

Well, that's just a figure of speech, but that's the way the gorilla really feels.

MR HOWELL

Well, I'm sure it's a one-sided affair. But, I mean, isn't there anything that we can do?

PROFESSOR

Well, we haven't got any weapons. We can't rush him because he might hurt Missus Howell.

GORILLA

at the cave entrance beats his chest. Mrs. Howell stands behind him.

BACK TO SCENE

PROFESSOR (cont'd)

We'll have to try to capture him with a net. Gilligan, why don't you start collecting strong vines?

GILLIGAN

Sure, Professor, yeah.

Gilligan exits.

SKIPPER

Yeah, that's right, Professor. I've heard that they capture monkeys that way, but we've got to figure out some way to lure him away from the cave.

MR HOWELL

Well, I'll -- I'll get some food.

PROFESSOR

Well, when he's being this protective, food isn't going to do it.

MR HOWELL

Now, wait a minute. He kidnapped Missus Howell. That means the scoundrel has an eye for the ladies. Why don't we use Ginger and Mary Ann as a decoy, and drop a net over him?

PROFESSOR

I'm not sure that'll work, but it's worth a try.

SKIPPER

Well, but, Mister Howell, that'll be kind of dangerous. Now, I'd be glad to put on one of the dresses.

MR HOWELL

No offense, Skipper, but -- uh -- you putting on one of the dresses is like putting a banana skin over a watermelon.

FLIP TO:

INT. GIRLS HUT - DAY

Mary Ann and Ginger place large bamboo poles against their hut's walls to brace them.

MARY ANN

Poor Missus Howell. Gee, Ginger. Maybe we should've left a place for us to get out. I mean, he is a gorilla. He could come through the ceiling, you know.

GINGER

If he comes through the ceiling, I'm going out through the wall.

A KNOCK. The women exclaim and grab each other.

GINGER (cont'd)

A gorilla wouldn't knock, would he?

MARY ANN

I don't think so.

They release each other and walk toward the barricaded door.

GINGER

Who is it?

MR HOWELL

It's me, Mister Howell.

Mr. Howell opens the door and the bamboo poles fall to the ground.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

It's a logjam?

GINGER

Did you find Missus Howell?

MR HOWELL

Well, yes. The beast has her in a cave and won't let her out.

MARY ANN

Would -- Is she all right?

MR HOWELL

Well, she seems to be. I've come to you two girls for help.

MARY ANN

Help?

GINGER

How?

MR HOWELL

I want you to act as decoys so we can drop a net over the gorilla.

Mr. Howell chuckles uncomfortably.

MARY ANN

I'd do anything for Missus Howell, but I'd be scared to death.

MR HOWELL

Yes, I know, but Mary Ann you were raised on a farm. You know all about animals.

MARY ANN

Cows, yes. Gorillas, no.

MR HOWELL

And, Ginger, you're an actress. Just make believe it's a part and make believe the gorilla is a marvelous, wonderful star.

GINGER

Mister Howell, even if it were Richard Burton under all that hair, I'd have to say no.

Mr. Howell pulls out cash from his pocket and offers it to Ginger.

GINGER (cont'd)

I -- I'm sorry, Mister Howell. You've got the wrong girl.

MR HOWELL

Ginger, you know, a funny thing. After we're rescued I'm planning on making a CinemaScope color picture about a beautiful girl and a gorilla --

GINGER

Oh, come on. What are we waiting for?

MR HOWELL

-- in a cave.

All three head for the door.

FLIP TO:

INT. CAVE - DAY

The gorilla grooms himself. Mrs. Howell sits on a boulder in the cave and holds her brooch. She rubs her lorgnette on her glove and then looks at the gorilla through her it.

MRS HOWELL

I'm really very flattered by your attention, but we don't have very much in common.

The gorilla takes her lorgnette and looks Mrs. Howell up and down.

MRS HOWELL (cont'd)

Oh, really?

Mrs. Howell takes the lorgnette back from the gorilla.

MRS HOWELL (cont'd)

Just because our ancestors used to swing in trees is hardly a basis for a continuing friendship.

Mrs. Howell stands up.

MRS HOWELL (cont'd)

This is getting to be a dreadful bore.

The gorilla prevents her from leaving.

MRS HOWELL (cont'd)

Now, be a nice little boy and let me pass.

The gorilla doesn't budge.

MRS HOWELL (cont'd)

But you don't seem to understand. Thurston's a very generous man. He'll buy you your own banana farm.

Mrs. Howell attempts to leave again. The gorilla prevents her from leaving. She pushes the gorilla aside, but he doesn't move.

MRS HOWELL (cont'd)

Thurston! Thurston! Where are you?

EXT. CAVE - DAY

Mr. Howell, Mary Ann, Skipper, Ginger, and Professor stand together outside the cave.

MR HOWELL

Just be patient, Lovey.

INT. CAVE - DAY

Mrs. Howell tries to brush the gorilla away. He growls at her.

MRS HOWELL

(growls)

Yourself.

EXT. CAVE - DAY

Mr. Howell, Mary Ann, Skipper, Ginger, and Professor stand together outside the cave. Ginger holds a sheer scarf.

PROFESSOR

Gilligan is standing by the net to release it. Mister Howell, you stay here with Mary Ann. The Skipper and I'll stand by to protect Ginger, just in case. Now, everybody ready?

They vocalize agreement.

PROFESSOR (cont'd)

Ginger, you know what you're supposed to do.

GINGER

Yeah, attract a gorilla. I hope my agent doesn't hear about this.

Professor and Skipper escort Ginger to Gilligan. Professor holds her hand. Gilligan holds a vine attached to the net.

PROFESSOR

Gilligan, everything all set?

GILLIGAN

Yes, sir.

PROFESSOR

Now remember, when I snap my fingers, you drop the net.

GILLIGAN

You can count on me.

PROFESSOR

All right, Ginger. Go.

Professor releases Ginger's hand. Ginger begins her seduction of the gorilla. The men hide nearby. The GORILLA notices Ginger and GRUNTS. He takes some tentative steps toward her. Ginger slinks toward him. The GORILLA GRUNTS. She pauses. She uses the scarf to gain the gorilla's attention.

MR. HOWELL AND MARY ANN

watch Ginger from a safe distance.

PROFESSOR, GILLIGAN, AND SKIPPER

watch from a different vantage point.

SKIPPER

She's attracting his attention.

GILLIGAN

I think that gorilla's got sailor's blood.

BACK TO SCENE

Ginger waves the scarf in the gorilla's face. She backs away from the cave entrance slowly. The gorilla follows her.

PROFESSOR, GILLIGAN, AND SKIPPER

stand nearby, ready to pounce.

PROFESSOR

Ginger, can you be a little sexier?

BACK TO SCENE

Ginger spins to face Professor.

GINGER

With a gorilla?

PROFESSOR, GILLIGAN, AND SKIPPER

instruct Ginger.

SKIPPER

Go ahead, Ginger, under the net.

BACK TO SCENE

Ginger crouches low and waves the scarf. The gorilla gently beats his head with his arms. Ginger drops her scarf and backs away from under the net toward the men.

GORILLA

throws his hands up, as if he's had enough. The GORILLA GRUNTS and returns to the cave entrance where Mrs. Howell stands.

MR. HOWELL AND MARY ANN

watch from a safe distance. Mr. Howell is slightly disturbed that the gorilla went back to Mrs. Howell.

PROFESSOR, GILLIGAN, SKIPPER, AND GINGER

stand to the side.

GILLIGAN

I'll tell you one thing. That gorilla isn't human.

PROFESSOR

Hold it. It's not working.

Professor picks Ginger's off the ground and gives it back to her.

PROFESSOR (cont'd)

Ginger, you better go back with Mister Howell and Mary Ann.

GINGER

Okay, Professor.

SKIPPER

Thanks a lot, Ginger.

GINGER

You're welcome.

PROFESSOR

Wait a minute. I've got a better idea. Why didn't I think of it before?

Professor snaps his fingers.

GILLIGAN

pulls on the vine to trigger the net. FOLLOW Gilligan as he walks over to Professor and Skipper who are captured by the net.

SKIPPER

Gilligan!

Professor and Skipper struggle to remove the net. As they finally remove it, they heap it upon Gilligan.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

If he'd been paying attention, this wouldn't have happened.

PROFESSOR

What I started to say, Skipper --

SKIPPER

Yeah, I know, before Gilligan here tripped the net.

GILLIGAN

Oh, no. He said when he snapped his fingers, and he snapped his finger, and when he said snap --

Gilligan tries to snap his fingers, but can't.

PROFESSOR

All right, Gilligan, that's enough for now.

(turning to Mr. Howell)

Mister Howell?

MR HOWELL

Yes, yes, yes.

PROFESSOR

Does Missus Howell have any perfume on?

MR HOWELL

Of course she does. Why?

PROFESSOR

Well, first he took her brooch which should have some scent of her perfume and then he took her. Now, Gorillas are known to be attracted to sweet fragrances. Do you see what I'm getting at?

MR HOWELL

Well, of course I do.

PROFESSOR

Is there more of that perfume?

MR HOWELL

On her dressing table in the hut.

PROFESSOR

(turns to Gilligan)

Gilligan --

GILLIGAN

I'm way ahead of you. I'll go get it. What's the name?

MR HOWELL

Warm Afternoon.

GILLIGAN

"Warm Afternoon"?

MR HOWELL

Yes.

Gilligan runs in pursuit of the perfume.

FLIP TO:

INT. HOWELLS HUT - DAY

Gilligan enters the Howell's hut through the beaded curtain and moves over to the dressing table. He finds bottles of perfume and picks the up, holding them close to his chest.

CLOSE ANGLE ON GILLIGAN'S CHEST

He holds one of the bottles is upside down. Its contents spill out.

BACK TO SCENE

He reads the label on each bottle and puts it back on the dressing table when it is not the one he seeks.

GILLIGAN

"Pool of Tears," "Happy Hours," -- uh -- "Foggy Night." No.

Gilligan looks at the last bottle.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

"Noon refta mraw."

(pause)

"Noon refta mraw"?

Gilligan turns the bottle right-side up. Gilligan sniffs and realizes that he emptied the entire bottle onto himself.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

"Warm Afternoon."

Gilligan exits through the beaded curtain.

FLIP TO:

EXT. CAVE - DAY

Mr. Howell stands close to the cave entrance.

MR HOWELL

Don't worry, Lovey. We've got an idea.

The gorilla lunges at Mr. Howell aggressively. Mr. Howell backs away and the gorilla throws branches at him. Mr. Howell retreats to the other castaways.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

I just told Lovey we're working on a theory how to free her from that hairy delinquent.

Gilligan runs into the middle of the group.

GILLIGAN

I'm sorry, it's empty.

Professor rubs his cheeks. Mary Ann and Ginger waves the air to clear it.

PROFESSOR

You don't have to tell us what happened.

NEW ANGLE

The gorilla swings from a wine as if he were Tarzan and picks up Gilligan.

BACK TO SCENE

Gilligan and the gorilla swing to a nearby tree.

GILLIGAN

cries for help.

GILLIGAN

Skipper!

NEW ANGLE

The gorilla swings Gilligan to the next tree.

BACK TO SCENE

Mrs. Howell flees the cave and joins the group.

MRS HOWELL

The gorilla left me.

MR HOWELL

He found someone more attractive.

MRS HOWELL

Who?

MR HOWELL

Gilligan.

MRS HOWELL

Gilligan?

MR HOWELL

Well, he does have a certain air about him.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. JUNGLE - DAY

Mary Ann picks wildflowers into a bouquet. She walks over to Ginger who carries a similar bouquet.

MARY ANN

Oh, gee, I hope the Professor's right. These flowers will lure that gorilla away from Gilligan.

GINGER

Poor Gilligan. The last three hours, that gorilla's been looking at him with love in its eyes.

MARY ANN

Do you think these will be enough?

GINGER

You take these. I'll pick some more.

Ginger hands her bouquet to Mary Ann. Mary Ann turns and exits. Ginger crouches to pick more flowers.

EXT. CAVE - DAY

Mr. Howell and Skipper smell the huge pile of flowers the girls collected. Professor and Mrs. Howell stand with them.

MR HOWELL

Ah! There's enough aroma there to attract any gorilla.

PROFESSOR

Well, he hasn't paid any attention to it so far.

SKIPPER

Oh, here comes Mary Ann with some more.

MARY ANN

walks up with more flowers. The gorilla grabs Mary Ann. Mary Ann screams. The gorilla swings Mary Ann toward the cave entrance.

GILLIGAN

Let her go! Let her go!

The GORILLA grabs the flowers from her and GRUNTS as he presents them to Gilligan. Gilligan accepts the flowers. PUSH IN to Gilligan as he sheepishly looks toward the other castaways.

FADE OUT

END OF ACT TWO

TAG

FADE IN:

EXT. CAMP - DAY

Skipper and Professor sit at the dining table with many bottles of perfume. Professor sniffs one perfume bottle. Professor pours some of it into a plastic bowl.

PROFESSOR

Considering the prices of these perfumes it's nice of Missus Howell to let us experiment.

Professor stirs the contents of the bowl.

SKIPPER

Poor Gilligan. Last time I saw him the gorilla was sniffing him like a bloodhound on a hot scent.

Professor sniffs another bottle.

PROFESSOR

What we have to do is find a perfume with the same base.

Professor sniffs a different bottle. Professor pours some of that bottle into the bowl. Gilligan runs from the jungle into camp.

GILLIGAN

Skipper! Skipper!

SKIPPER

Little buddy! Gilligan, how did you get away?

GILLIGAN

He ran off with somebody he liked better.

SKIPPER

Who?

GILLIGAN

Look.

Gilligan points. The other men look.

EXT. JUNGLE PATH - DAY

Hand-in-hand, two gorillas turn to look at the castaways. They skip down the jungle path.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. GILLIGAN'S ISLAND - ESTABLISHING SHOT - DAY

FADE OUT.

THE END