TEASER

FADE IN:

EXT. GILLIGAN'S ISLAND - ESTABLISHING SHOT

EXT. VEGETABLE GARDEN - DAY

GILLIGAN

as he sits on a bicycle device that he slowly pedals.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL

a water wheel contraption that dumps water into a trough.

PAN ALONG

the length of the trough, which feeds water to a small garden that the Professor tends.

PROFESSOR

That's perfect, Gilligan. Water's flowing just right.

GILLIGAN

Thanks, Professor. Hi, Skipper.

Skipper enters. He carries two potted, hanging plants on each end of a bamboo pole.

SKIPPER

Hi, Gilligan. Where do you want these plants, Professor?

PROFESSOR

Oh, here, Skipper, I'll take them.

GILLIGAN

You know, Skipper, this gets awful monotonous.

SKIPPER

Gilligan, why don't you make a game out of it? Pretend that you're taking a long bicycle ride from Cleveland, Ohio to Chicago, Illinois.

GILLIGAN

Hey, Skipper.

SKIPPER

What?

GILLIGAN

Which way do I turn, left or right at Cincinnati?

SKIPPER

Will you keep pedaling? Left!

PROFESSOR

You know, Skipper, these breadfruit plants are fantastic. They're so rich in food value, one could live indefinitely on them.

GILLIGAN

I'd rather live on smörgåsbord.

SKIPPER

Smörgåsbord?

GILLIGAN

Yeah, you know, smoked oysters, fried kippers, pickled herring, finnan haddie, salted peanuts.

(dry mouth)

Boy, am I thirsty.

Gilligan stops pedaling. He dismounts the bicycle and walks to the water wheel and tries to get a drink of water.

SKIPPER

Gilligan.

Skipper taps Gilligan on the shoulder.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

The water won't flow when you're not pedaling.

Gilligan mounts the bicycle and pedals.

PROFESSOR

Pump, Gilligan, pump.

GILLIGAN

I am pumping.

PROFESSOR

Well, so you are. I don't understand it. The water's not coming through.

GILLIGAN

Maybe the spring dried up.

PROFESSOR

I think you're right, Gilligan. This spring is our only source of fresh water on the whole island.

GILLIGAN

What happened to it?

PROFESSOR

I don't know. If something has interfered with our water supply, this is just the beginning. First the plants will die, then the fruit trees will die, and then -- And then, this can be serious, Gilligan.

GILLIGAN

Serious?

PROFESSOR

Very serious.

FADE OUT.

END OF TEASER

ACT ONE

FADE IN:

EXT. SHOWER - DAY

Gilligan races through the jungle looking for Skipper.

GILLIGAN

Hey, Skipper, where are you? Hey, Skip--

He sees the shower being used, with a large container dumping water into the shower.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Don't use the water! I got some important news for --

Gilligan trips on a stone, falls, and slides in the mud under the curtain into the shower. He stops at a pair of bare feet.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Skipper?

GINGER

Really, Gilligan, do I look like the Skipper?

Gilligan pulls himself out of the mud and stands up.

GILLIGAN

Well. I don't know. Bare feet are bare feet, but then --

Ginger pokes her head through the shower curtain.

GINGER

(sultry)

Yes?

GILLIGAN

No, you sure don't look like the Skipper.

GINGER

Thanks. Hey, would you be a doll and get me that towel over there on the bush?

Gilligan walks over to the bush where he sees a towel that is too tiny to wrap around Ginger.

GILLIGAN

You mean this little towel?

GINGER

Yeah. Come on, bring it over. I won't bite you.

GILLIGAN

You promise you won't bite me?

GINGER

I promise I won't bite you.

Ginger withdraws and Gilligan reaches in and hands Ginger the towel. Ginger bites him. He withdraws his hand quickly.

GILLIGAN

Ow! You bit me!

GINGER

(sultry)

Yeah. Aren't I a tease?

Gilligan looks at his bitten finger.

GINGER (O.S.)

Hey, don't go away. I'll be right out.

GILLIGAN

You'll be right out?

Gilligan mildly panics, for he is unprepared for Ginger to emerge with that tiny towel wrapped around her.

GINGER (O.S.)

Ready or not, here I come.

Ginger emerges from the shower with the towel wrapped around her head.

GILLIGAN

I'm not ready.

Ginger has another, much larger towel wrapped around her body.

GINGER

But I was just washing my hair, silly. You certainly are bashful.

GILLIGAN

Only with girls.

Ginger draws a heart in the mud covering Gilligan's shirt.

GINGER

You shouldn't be so shy.

(sultry)

You know, I think under all that mud -- there's a charming, attractive -- man.

Ginger exits. Gilligan looks down at the heart and wipes the mud all over his chest to obliterate Ginger's artwork. Gilligan steps into the shower. Skipper enters.

SKIPPER

Ginger's scarf. As lovely a girl as I've ever seen.

Skipper picks a flower from a nearby plant. He sniffs the flower, knocks on the side of the shower, and then hands it over the top of the shower to its occupant.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Here's for one of the loveliest persons on the island.

Gilligan emerges from the shower.

GILLIGAN

Thanks, Skipper. My first corsage. Does that mean we're engaged?

SKIPPER

Gilligan, what are you doing in there -- with your clothes on?

GILLIGAN

I've been trying to find you, Skipper. I have some very important news.

SKIPPER

News? What news?

GILLIGAN

Oh, I don't know. With everything happening -- the mud, Ginger --

(smiles)

-- my first corsage --

SKIPPER

Here, Gilligan, this'll wake you up.

Skipper pushes Gilligan back into the shower and tries to dump water on him by pulling on the cord, but there's no more water.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Hey, there's no water.

GILLIGAN

Right. That's what the news is about. We're out of water.

FLIP TO:

EXT. WATER SUPPLY - DAY

Mary Ann and Ginger pour gourds filled with water into a bag suspended from a bamboo tripod. Skipper and Professor discuss the castaways situation.

PROFESSOR

Skipper, until we locate a spring or dig a new well, I suggest we start a rationing system.

SKIPPER

A very good suggestion, Professor.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Thank you, ladies, for your contribution to our water supply.

Skipper exits.

MARY ANN/GINGER

You're welcome.

Mary Ann taps the bottom of a gourd, emptying the last drops into the bag.

MARY ANN

Well, that's all the fresh water I have.

GINGER

Oh, my goodness. This isn't water. It's my perfume, "Mad Desire" mixed with "Flaming Passion."

MARY ANN

Great. I wonder what the men will do when they drink that.

GINGER

I don't know, but I'm dying to find out.

Ginger turns and heads into the jungle. Mary Ann follows her.

PROFESSOR

No fish, girls. It'll make us thirsty.

GINGER

Okay.

EXT. WATER SUPPLY - DAY

Gilligan emerges from the jungle.

GILLIGAN

Water. Water. Water I gotta have water. I'll go mad. Water. Water. Water. Please, Skipper, water, water.

SKIPPER

Oh, Gilligan, cut that out! We haven't even started rationing yet.

GILLIGAN

I know, I was just practicing for later.

SKIPPER

Here. Start by emptying these containers into our water supply.

GILLIGAN

Aye-aye, sir.

Gilligan picks up a gourd and dumps it, but the water comes out of the wrong place and flows onto the ground instead of into the bag.

EXT. WATER SUPPLY - DAY

The Howells emerge from the jungle. Professor and Skipper tend to the water supply.

MR HOWELL

Professor, is it true that you're planning to ration water?

SKIPPER

That's right, Mister Howell, we only have enough left in our water supply for a few days.

PROFESSOR

Yes, we may tap a spring in a day or two. I saw some shale rock formations where we could dig a well, if we all pitch in and help.

MR HOWELL

Count me out. When I sink a well, I usually strike oil.

MRS HOWELL

Yes, some people have a green thumb. Thurston has an oily one.

Gilligan empties a gourd into the bag.

GILLIGAN

Skipper, what happens if we get thirsty? I mean, right now, I'd like to have a nice tall, cool glass --

SKIPPER

Gilligan, little buddy, please. Until we can find a new spring or locate another place to dig a well, let's not use the word "water." In other words, it only makes everybody more thirsty.

GILLIGAN

I'm sorry, Skipper, but I won't mention the name of that wet liquid again. See? I didn't say "water."

Skipper scowls at Gilligan. Gilligan looks guilty.

PROFESSOR

Right now, I suggest we start rationing the amount we drink.

SKIPPER

Exactly, Professor. Now, like I said, we only have a few days left in our "mm-mm" supply.

GILLIGAN

"Mm-mm" supply?

Skipper shushes Gilligan. Gilligan mouths "Oh, water."

SKIPPER

So Mister Howell, I'm going to put you in charge of the rationing.

MRS HOWELL

As usual, Thurston, the drinks are on you. See you at the hut, dear.

Mrs. Howell exits into the jungle.

MR HOWELL

Ta-ta, dear.

SKIPPER

Well, let's get started looking for our new spring. I have my trusty new divining rod here. And believe me, gentlemen, If there's anything to drink on the island, I'll find it. This rod will point out even a few drops.

PROFESSOR

A divining rod, Skipper? We can't afford to trust our lives to superstition.

SKIPPER

Oh, Professor, it's not superstition. Mister Howell, what do you think of my new divining rod?

MR HOWELL

I think it's divine. No, it's utter nonsense. Hogwash. I don't believe it.

The divining rod has a mind of its own and points at Mr. Howell.

SKIPPER

Hey, look!

GILLIGAN

It's pointing toward Mister Howell's leg.

Skipper kneels as the divining rod points to Mr. Howell's left calf.

MR HOWELL

I'd better go to the hut. Lovey's expecting me. Coming, dear. Be right there.

The divining rod vibrates aggressively.

SKIPPER

Come on, Mister Howell, your pants leg.

Mr. Howell raises his pant leg and reveals a flask strapped to his calf. Gilligan expresses surprise. Mr. Howell looks visibly irritated that his flask was discovered. He removes the flask and carries it to the tripod with the water supply bag. Gilligan folds his arms across his chest. Mr. Howell empties the contents of the flask into the bag.

FLIP TO:

EXT. JUNGLE - DAY

Skipper and Gilligan walk through the jungle. Skipper holds the divining rod which points further up the path.

GILLIGAN

Skipper, I'm still thirsty, but I didn't say double-u-a-tee --

SKIPPER

All right, little buddy, all right. Come here, Gilligan. I got an idea.

Skipper picks up a few pebbles from the ground.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

This is a little trick of survival I learned from the natives in the Solomon's.

Skipper hands pebbles to Gilligan.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Now put these pebbles in your mouth, Gilligan, and suck on them. It works. Honest, it does.

Gilligan and Skipper put the pebbles in their mouths. Gilligan mumbles with the pebbles in his mouth. Skipper mumbles a reply. Gilligan mumbles back. Skipper spits out the pebbles into his hand.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Oh, Gilligan, please don't talk to me when I got a mouthful of pebbles.

Skipper puts the pebbles back in this mouth. Gilligan mumbles again. Skipper chokes on the pebbles. Gilligan pats his back. Skipper swallows the pebbles and gasps for breath.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

What was it that was so important that you had to say to me?

Gilligan spits out the pebbles into his hand.

GILLIGAN

I was just going to tell you that I'd never talk when you have pebbles in your mouth because you might --

GILLIGAN/SKIPPER

-- swallow them.

SKIPPER

Thanks a lot, Gilligan.

The divining rod points to another water location.

GILLIGAN

Skipper, it's starting to point.

SKIPPER

Yeah, right over there.

GILLIGAN

No, Skipper, over here.

Gilligan tugs on one branch of the divining rod.

SKIPPER

Over there!

Skipper tugs in a different direction.

GILLIGAN

No, over here.

SKIPPER

Over there!

GILLIGAN

Here.

SKIPPER

There!

They tear the diving rod apart.

FLIP TO:

EXT. WELL SITE - DAY

Mr. Howell emerges from the jungle. He carries a large bucket.

MR HOWELL

Oh, Captain! Oh, Gilligan! Your water boy!

Gilligan digs a hole with a bamboo shovel. He throws the dirt over his shoulder. The dirt lands on Mr. Howell.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Good heavens! It's so dry, it's raining dirt. Water! Water! Captain!

Skipper hammers a nail into a bamboo post.

GILLIGAN

Skipper!

Skipper turns to look at Gilligan and hammers his thumb instead of the nail. Skipper yelps in pain.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Here. Let me do it.

Gilligan takes the hammer from Skipper.

MR HOWELL

Oh, I see I'm just in time here.

GILLIGAN

Oh, Mister Howell, you're all covered with dirt. Let me brush you off. Here.

Gilligan uses his hands to brush off the dirt from Mr. Howell's shirt. The dirt on Gilligan's hands contribute to the dirt on Mr. Howell's shirt.

MR HOWELL

Don't do that, Gilligan! Your hands are dirty! Look.

GILLIGAN

Not now, Mister Howell.

Gilligan shows that his hands are clean since he rubbed the dirt onto Mr. Howell's shirt.

SKIPPER

Time for our afternoon rations already?

MR HOWELL

That's exactly why I'm here. I'm your friendly water boy. All right, Gilligan, go ahead. Now, that's a good boy. Close your eyes, open your mouth.

GILLIGAN

Okay, Mister Howell. Fill her up.

MR HOWELL

Here we are. Eyes closed, mouth open. Here we go.

Mr. Howell uses an eyedropper to put water in Gilligan's mouth.

GILLIGAN

Is that all I get for my afternoon ration, eight drops?

MR HOWELL

Eight drops? Good heavens, you got your evening rations, too. Here's one for the road.

Mr. Howell dispenses a few more drops of water into Gilligan's mouth.

FLIP TO:

EXT. GILLIGAN'S ISLAND - ESTABLISHING SHOT - NIGHT

EXT. WATER SUPPLY - NIGHT

Skipper measures the water in the bag with a stick.

SKIPPER

Gilligan, I want you to guard this water with your life.

GILLIGAN

You can count on me, Skipper.

SKIPPER

I hope so -- 'cause if you don't guard this water with your life, your life might not be worth guarding.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Got a knife?

GILLIGAN

A knife? Those people out there are my friends.

SKIPPER

I just want to mark the water level on this stick.

Gilligan hands the knife to Skipper. Skipper marks the water level with the knife.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

All right, now. That's how much water we have now. We'd better have as much when I get back. Those folks might start getting desperate.

GILLIGAN

Desperate?

SKIPPER

Very desperate.

Skipper walks away.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Gilligan, keep a stiff upper lip.

Gilligan smiles uncomfortably as a bird CALLS out.

FLIP TO:

EXT. WATER SUPPLY - NIGHT

Gilligan paces on guard duty over the water bag. He has a knife tucked into his belt.

GILLIGAN

I'm not afraid. I'm not a bit afraid. I'm not afraid.

As Gilligan's back is turned, Mr. Howell enters from the jungle. Gilligan continues pacing.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

I'm not scared, I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid. I think I did it. I'm not one bit afraid!

Mr. Howell taps Gilligan on the shoulder with his walking stick. Gilligan exclaims in surprise.

MR HOWELL

I'm sorry, my boy, I didn't mean to alarm you.

GILLIGAN

You didn't alarm me. You just scared me.

MR HOWELL

There's something I have to tell you.

GILLIGAN

If it's about the water, Mister Howell, the answer's "no."

MR HOWELL

No, no, it's something I must tell you in deepest confidence.

Mr. Howell walks to the edge of the water supply clearing.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Come over here. Come here, Gilligan. Gilligan, come here.

Gilligan walks over to Mr. Howell.

GILLIGAN

Okay, Mister Howell, but when I come over here, it's the same as the answer over there. No.

MR HOWELL

Gilligan, my boy, I must tell you that you are in very serious trouble.

GILLIGAN

Huh?

MR HOWELL

Well, I happen to know that someone is planning to steal the water supply.

Mr. Howell whistles the Howell Family whistle.

GILLIGAN

Who?

MR HOWELL

Who? It's someone that you know very very well.

Mr. Howell whistles the Howell Family whistle.

GILLIGAN

Why are you whistling, Mister Howell?

MR HOWELL

A little bird call.

Gilligan whistles the Howell Family whistle. Mrs. Howell enters and approaches the water bag and dips two tall leather boots in to remove water from the bag.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Now, the master plan, you see, is these two people plan to distract you -- and while your back is turned --

GILLIGAN

Huh?

Gilligan turns toward the water supply, but Mr. Howell focuses his attention on him.

MR HOWELL

-- one of them is going to steal the water.

GILLIGAN

Who'd do a thing like that?

MR HOWELL

Please! No names.

Mrs. Howell removes the boots from the water bag and returns to the jungle.

GILLIGAN

How many are there?

MR HOWELL

No, there's two. Hard to tell, you see, in a crowd, but Missus Howell and I both think if this should happen that your name would be mud.

GILLIGAN

Changing my name wouldn't do any good. The Skipper could still find me. He knows what I look like.

MR HOWELL

Good luck, my boy.

GILLIGAN

Good night, and thanks for the warning. You sure you can't tell me their names?

MR HOWELL

I would never forgive myself. Time to turn in. Good night.

Mr. Howell exits into the jungle. Gilligan whistles the Howell Family whistle.

FLIP TO:

EXT. WATER SUPPLY - NIGHT

Ginger enters and pretends that Gilligan has abandoned his guard duty post. Gilligan hides behind a small bush. Ginger pretends that she has no idea where Gilligan is.

GINGER

Ooh. My goodness me. Why has Gilligan left the water bag unguarded? Anybody who wanted to steal it could have stolen it by now.

Gilligan crouches on one side of the bush while Ginger stands on the other side of the bush.

GINGER (cont'd)

Now, where in the world could Gilligan be?

Gilligan pops up from behind a small bush.

GILLIGAN

Here I am.

GINGER

Oh! My goodness! Gilligan, where were you?

GILLIGAN

I was hiding behind the bush. Lucky thing for you you didn't try to steal any water.

While Ginger talks with Gilligan, she turns him so his back is to the water bag.

GINGER

Oh, Gilligan, you silly, suspicious boy.

Ginger walks backward, away from the water bag. She gently pulls Gilligan with her.

GINGER (cont'd)

(sultry)

Now, why in the world would I do a thing like that? I saw the Skipper, and he told me that you were on guard duty. So I came over to keep you company.

GILLIGAN

Gee, thanks.

GINGER

Gee, Gilligan, I don't know how you do it. I mean, hour after hour after hour. Don't you ever get sleepy?

Gilligan shakes his head.

GINGER (cont'd)

I mean, don't you ever find that your eyes are getting heavier, heavier -- wanting to close?

Gilligan's eyelids droop. Mary Ann enters from the jungle carrying a full-length glove.

GINGER (cont'd)

Arms are so heavy, heavy that you can't keep them up.

Gilligan's eyes close.

GINGER (cont'd)

Don't you ever feel that you're going into a deep, deep, deep sleep?

Gilligan's eyes pop open.

GILLIGAN

Nope.

GINGER

Of course not. A big, strong man like you would never fall asleep.

Gilligan's eyelids droop again.

GINGER (cont'd)

I mean, a big, strong man like you, your right eye could never get so heavy.

Mary Ann approaches the water bag. Gilligan's closes his eyes.

GINGER (cont'd)

There. A big, strong man like you could never, never, never fall asleep.

Gilligan drowsily shakes his head.

GILLIGAN

No, I could never fall --

Gilligan snores.

GINGER

Asleep, asleep.

Mary Ann removes the glove filled with water from the water bag and exits into the jungle. Ginger sees Mary Ann escape with the glove.

GINGER (cont'd)

Goodbye, Gilligan.

Ginger kisses her finger and moves to press it to Gilligan's lips. Gilligan's head drops and Ginger's finger presses into Gilligan's hat. Ginger shrugs and turns to exit.

FLIP TO:

EXT. WATER SUPPLY - NIGHT

Skipper marches through the jungle to the water bag. Behind him are Mary Ann with her water-filled glove, Mrs. Howell with her water-filled boots. Ginger trails.

SKIPPER

Gilligan.

GILLIGAN

Advance and be recognized, Skipper.

SKIPPER

Right this way.

GILLIGAN

What's all the big fuss about?

SKIPPER

(to Gilligan)

I'll show you.

(gestures to the women)

Ladies.

Mary Ann dumps the water from the glove into the water bag.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Missus Howell?

Mrs. Howell dumps the water from the boots into the water bag. Skipper uses the stick to measure the depth of the water.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Gilligan, you're lucky. It's all there. Now, aren't you all ashamed of yourselves?

Mr. Howell, Mrs. Howell, Ginger, and Mary Ann lower their heads in shame.

MR HOWELL

I'm ashamed we got caught.

SKIPPER

And you, Gilligan --

GILLIGAN

Skipper, I don't know --

SKIPPER

Gilligan, what have you been doing here all this time?

GILLIGAN

I made a new divining rod. Look.

Gilligan holds up his divining rod.

SKIPPER

Oh, Gilligan. It takes a very special technique to make a divining rod.

GILLIGAN

Skipper, will you stop being sore at me if it hits water?

SKIPPER

I promise I will never ever get sore at you again if that divining rod hits water. Well, let me see it.

GILLIGAN

No.

Gilligan tries to hide the divining rod behind himself, and pokes a hole in the water bag. The water dumps out onto the ground through the hole. Gilligan looks sheepish and embarrassed.

MR HOWELL

That boy needs therapy.

Gilligan stares at the last water as it drips out of the water bag. His face displays the shame he feels as he turns to the other castaways.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO

FADE IN:

EXT. WELL SITE - DAY

Skipper pedals the auger rig to drill a hole for a well.

SKIPPER

Darn clever, Professor. Sure beats digging by hand.

PROFESSOR

We've got to keep our fingers crossed. Gilligan spilled every drop of water we had left.

Gilligan enters. Professor folds his arms across his chest and turns away from Gilligan. Skipper continues to pedal the auger rig and turns away.

GILLIGAN

Hi, Skipper. Hi, Professor. I don't blame you for not talking to me, but I want to help. If you want me to go away, just nod.

Professor and Skipper exchange glances and then simultaneously nod.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

I'll give you one more chance. If you want me to go --

They nod again.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

-- away.

Gilligan leaves them.

FLIP TO:

INT. JUNGLE - DAY

Mary Ann and Ginger sit on chairs and sew a sheet to catch the morning dew.

GINGER

I'm thirsty.

MARY ANN

Oh, I told you: concentrate on your sewing. That'll take your mind off of it.

GINGER

That's what I did. Sewing reminded me of dresses, and dresses reminded me of wool. Wool reminded me of sheep, sheep reminded me of the mountains. The mountains reminded me of the desert, and the desert made me thirsty again.

Gilligan enters.

GILLIGAN

Hi, girls. I came by to cheer you up.

MARY ANN

Hi, Gilligan. I doubt you can cheer us up. We're trying to make a sheet to catch the morning dew.

GINGER

If we're lucky, we'll get a thimbleful of water.

GILLIGAN

Well, look on the bright side girls. We might find a new spring any minute. And if we don't, it might rain. If it doesn't rain, people sometimes last four, five days --

GINGER

Gee, Gilligan, do you really want to cheer us up?

GILLIGAN

Yeah. What can I do?

GINGER

Go cheer up the Howells.

FLIP TO:

EXT. JUNGLE - DAY

Mrs. Howell wears a headband with a feather in it. Her dress looks vaguely native American, but she has accessorized it with a broach and pearls.

MRS HOWELL

I can't understand it, Thurston. All that nonsense about a divining rod to bring water.

MR HOWELL (O.S.)

Yes, I know. Totally unscientific.

MRS HOWELL

Are you ready?

Mr. Howell enters dressed in a Cherokee ceremonial headdress.

MR HOWELL

Yes, any time you are, my dear. One, two, three.

The Howells perform a "rain dance."

HOWELLS

Ha!

Mr. Howell and Mrs. Howell look to the sky.

MR HOWELL

Rain!

Mr. Howell looks at his dry palm and then back up at the sky.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

You're not listening.

MRS HOWELL

I don't understand it. It worked last year in Yellowstone Park for the Cherokees.

MR HOWELL

What's wrong, anyway?

Gilligan enters.

GILLIGAN

Hi, Mister and Missus Howell.

Mr. Howell glances at Gilligan and back up at the sky.

MR HOWELL

Now I know what's wrong.

FLIP TO:

EXT. HUT CLEARING - DAY

Gilligan writes a note to the other castaways with a pencil and paper on a makeshift writing table made from a tree stump. He reads back what he wrote.

GILLIGAN

"Dear folks, Every time I try to do something right, everything goes wrong. Maybe everybody would be better off without me."

Gilligan finishes off the note and narrates while he writes.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

"I make nothing but mistakes."

Gilligan breaks the pencil lead.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

I even make a mistake writing "mistakes."

A frog jumps onto Gilligan's writing table. It CROAKS.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Hey! Hi, frog. Would you mind getting your wet feet off my desk here? Come on, let's go.

The frog CROAKS thrice.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Wet feet? Frog? Put them all together, they spell water. Okay, come on frog, now. Take me to your water. Come on, let's go.

The frog CROAKS and leaps off Gilligan's writing table.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Wahoo!

Gilligan gets up and exits.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

I'll follow you. Yeah!

FLIP TO:

EXT. JUNGLE - DAY

Gilligan crawls along behind the frog. He nudges the frog to urge the frog to continue on toward the water.

GILLIGAN

Go, come on. Let's go now, come on. Froggy, where are you? Listen, I don't want to squish --

GILLIGAN'S HAND

as he squishes a banana.

BACK TO SCENE

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

-- you.

Gilligan looks down at the squished banana.

FROG

as it CROAKS.

BACK TO SCENE

Gilligan sees the frog a few feet away.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

There you are.

SQUISHED BANANA

Gilligan wipes the squished banana on his hand onto his sleeve. He crawls after the frog.

EXT. WELL SITE - DAY

Mary Ann enters from the jungle. Skipper pedals the well-digging auger contraption.

MARY ANN

Skipper, oh, Skipper, have you seen Gilligan?

SKIPPER

Oh, Mary Ann, if I'd seen Gilligan, would I be riding this contraption?

MARY ANN

I think he may have done something desperate. Look at the note I found.

Mary Ann hands the note to the Skipper. Skipper reads it aloud.

SKIPPER

"And maybe everyone would be better off without --"

(pause)

Oh, this is all my fault. My poor little buddy.

MARY ANN

Skipper, you don't think --

SKIPPER

I don't know, but we better find out right away.

Skipper dismounts the well-drilling auger contraption.

EXT. JUNGLE - DAY

FROG

hops across the sand.

BACK TO SCENE

Gilligan crawls along the ground as he "chases" after the frog. Gilligan puts his face close to the ground to get the frog's perspective.

FROG

hops across the sand.

BACK TO SCENE

Gilligan crawls on all fours after the frog.

HIGH ANGLE ON FROG

Gilligan crawls up behind the frog. The frog hops away.

BACK TO SCENE

Gilligan crawls on all fours across the sand. He finally stands up.

GILLIGAN

Froggy?

Gilligan trips, which sends his hat flying. Gilligan lands head first on the ground.

FROG

Gilligan's hat lands on top of the frog.

GILLIGAN

lies sprawled out on the ground.

NEW ANGLE

Gilligan gets back on all fours and attempts to retrieve his hat, but it jumps as he tries to grab it.

GILLIGAN AND FROG

As the frog jumps, the hat jumps too. Gilligan crawls after his frog-filled hat and moves to grab it.

BACK TO SCENE

Gilligan gets back on all fours. He turns and sees his hat sitting on the ground next to him. He reaches for the hat, but it jumps away.

GILLIGAN AND GILLIGAN'S HAT

Gilligan reaches for the hat and holds it down on the ground. The top of the hat moves as the frog tries to jump away.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Now, you --

Gilligan releases the hat briefly to pick it up and retrieve the frog, but the frog jumps again so Gilligan misses the hat and lands on his chest.

GILLIGAN

lies face down on the ground. Gilligan pulls his head up and spits out the plants that went into his mouth.

GILLIGAN'S HAT

moves slight as the frog jumps inside.

BACK TO SCENE

Gilligan lies on the ground and props his head up with his hands.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

All right, frog, I give up.

GILLIGAN'S HAT

leaps off the ground.

BACK TO SCENE

The hat flies through the air and lands on Gilligan's head.

GILLIGAN

realizes the frog has landed on his head. He looks up at it, removes his hat and takes from frog out from inside the hat.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

There you are. Come here. You all right?

GILLIGAN AND FROG

FROG

(croaks)

All right.

GILLIGAN

Okay?

FROG

(croaks)

All right.

GILLIGAN

All right?

FROG

(croaks)

All right.

GILLIGAN

lies on the ground

GILLIGAN

Take me to the water now. For you, it's easy. Come on.

The frog leaps away. Gilligan picks up his hat, but does not put it on.

FLIP TO:

EXT. CAVE ENTRANCE - DAY

Gilligan chases after the frog. He carries his hat in his hand.

GILLIGAN

Froggy! Frog? Where'd he go? Hey, frog?

Gilligan partially falls into a hole and drops his HAT. His head, arms, and shoulders remain above ground.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Ooh. What a big hole.

Gilligan slips and tries to hold on to the loose dirt.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

I think I found out where he went.

Gilligan falls further into the hole.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Just have to hang on and wait for --

Gilligan falls through the hole.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Help!

INT. CAVE - DAY

Gilligan falls into the cave. It has enough water that Gilligan sits chest-deep in water.

GILLIGAN

It's an underground cave, and there's lots of water.

The frog CROAKS.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Hi, thanks for helping me. I knew you would. Look, there's fresh water all over. Wait till I tell the others. Boy, will they be excited, huh? But how?

Gilligan looks around the cave for a way back to the top.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

I can't reach the top, and the sides are all smooth.

(to frog)

What am I gonna do?

The frog CROAKS many times, as if speaking whole sentences.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Thanks for your advice, but it's too bad I don't speak frog.

EXT. CLEARING - DAY

Mr. Howell, Mrs. Howell, Professor, Mary Ann, and Ginger listen to the Skipper as he discusses search strategy.

SKIPPER

Folks, we've got to search every square foot of this island.

MRS HOWELL

We'll never forgive ourselves if we don't find that boy.

MARY ANN

If we ever do find him, we'll hug him, and squeeze him, and kiss him and --

GINGER

Hey, what are we waiting for? Let's go.

Ginger and Mary Ann exit.

INT. CAVE - DAY

Gilligan sits chest deep in water. He holds the frog.

GILLIGAN

Maybe if I yell, somebody will hear me. Hello!

Gilligan's shout of "Hello!" is echoed back twice. The frog CROAKS.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

(to frog)

I wasn't talking to you.

EXT. JUNGLE - DAY

Mr. and Mrs. Howell walk through the jungle in search of Gilligan.

MRS HOWELL

Gilligan!

MR HOWELL

Gilligan, my boy!

MRS HOWELL

Gilligan!

EXT. JUNGLE - DAY

Professor, Ginger, and Mary Ann comb the jungle searching for Gilligan.

GINGER

Gilligan!

MARY ANN

Oh, Gilligan!

GINGER

Gilligan!

GINGER/MARY ANN

Gilligan!

EXT. CAVE ENTRANCE - DAY

Skipper searches for Gilligan.

SKIPPER

Gilligan, little buddy. Gilligan!

Skipper spies the hat Gilligan dropped.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

My little buddy's hat. Gilligan.

Skipper notices the hole in the ground.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Could he be in the hole? No, he wouldn't.

Skipper leans over the hole and calls to Gilligan.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Gilligan? Gilligan, are you down there?

GILLIGAN (O.S.)

Hey, Skipper!

SKIPPER

Gilligan!

Skipper falls into the hole.

INT. CAVE - DAY

Skipper lands next to Gilligan. Skipper pulls himself out of the water.

GILLIGAN

Skipper!

SKIPPER

Gilligan, little buddy, is that you?

GILLIGAN

Yeah, Skipper. What are you doing down here?

SKIPPER

I brought you your hat.

Skipper hands the hat to Gilligan.

GILLIGAN

Oh, thanks, Skipper. Boy, am I glad to see you, even if I can't.

SKIPPER

Well, think how happy I am!

GILLIGAN

Yeah, look. Fresh water! Fresh water!

SKIPPER

I don't mean about the water, little buddy. I mean about you. I don't mind telling you, I've got a lump in my throat.

GILLIGAN

Well, be careful. Don't swallow it. It might be my frog.

Gilligan splashes around in the water looking for the frog. Skipper sticks out his tongue.

EXT. JUNGLE - DAY

Mr. Howell and Mrs. Howell search in the jungle for Gilligan.

MRS HOWELL

Gilligan!

MR HOWELL

Gilligan!

MRS HOWELL

Oh, Thurston, we simply have got to find that boy.

MR HOWELL

I know what I'll do. I'll offer a reward. Five thousand dollars or ten thousand dollars!

MRS HOWELL

Thurston, there are times when money is absolutely useless.

MR HOWELL

(scolding)

Ooh, what you said, Lovey.

INT. CAVE - DAY

Gilligan sits chest-deep in water. Skipper knees in the water.

GILLIGAN

There's a tunnel over there. Maybe we can get out.

SKIPPER

We can't see where we're going. We need a light.

GILLIGAN

I got some matches, Skipper.

SKIPPER

Oh, Gilligan, so have I, but when we fell down in here, we fell in the water. The matches are wet.

GILLIGAN

Why don't we build a fire to dry them out?

SKIPPER

Gilligan, you can't light a fire to dry the matches when you've got to have dry matches to light a fire.

GILLIGAN

Oh, no wonder you're the skipper and I'm only the crew.

EXT. JUNGLE - DAY

Professor, Mary Ann, and Ginger search the jungle for Gilligan.

GINGER

Gilligan!

MARY ANN

Gilligan!

PROFESSOR

Let's search that area over there.

GINGER

You know, I once had a part in a jungle movie where everybody got lost.

MARY ANN

Everybody?

GINGER

Yes, and nobody ever found them. The hero died. The heroine died. They all died. But that picture had a happy ending.

PROFESSOR

How could it have a happy ending?

GINGER

It made three million dollars.

PROFESSOR

Let's go.

MARY ANN

Gilligan!

EXT. CAVE ENTRANCE - DAY

Mr. Howell and Mrs. Howell search the jungle for Gilligan.

MR HOWELL

Gilligan, my boy. Gilligan!

INT. CAVE - DAY

Skipper and Gilligan overhear Mr. Howell searching for Gilligan.

MR HOWELL (O.S.)

I wonder where that boy has gone to.

GILLIGAN

Hello!

EXT. CAVE ENTRANCE - DAY

Mr. Howell and Mrs. Howell stand near the cave entrance hole.

MRS HOWELL

Thurston, that was Gilligan's voice.

INT. CAVE - DAY

SKIPPER

Can anyone hear us?

EXT. CAVE ENTRANCE - DAY

Mr. Howell recognizes the voices.

MR HOWELL

And that's the Skipper's voice.

Mrs. Howell uses her lorgnette and peers at the hole.

MRS HOWELL

Thurston, I think they're down that hole.

MR HOWELL

Heavens to Sherlock Holmes, we've found them. Gilligan. Skipper. We're here!

INT. CAVE - DAY

Gilligan and Skipper remain in the water in the cave below.

MR HOWELL (O.S.)

We're here!

SKIPPER

That's wonderful!

GILLIGAN

It's dark down here. Can you give us some light?

EXT. CAVE ENTRANCE - DAY

LOW ANGLE ON HOWELLS FROM THE HOLE

MR HOWELL

Oh, it's dark. Yes, I can imagine. Here's some matches.

Mr. Howell tosses the matches down the hole.

INT. CAVE - DAY

Gilligan catches the matches.

SKIPPER

Nice catch, little buddy.

Gilligan takes a match and readies it to strike.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Careful, now. Hit it on the side of the box.

Gilligan fumbles and drops a match. Then another.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Careful. I know you can do it. On the side of the box, little buddy.

Gilligan struggles to light any match.

EXT. CAVE ENTRANCE - DAY

Professor, Ginger, and Mary Ann enter from the jungle and come upon the Howells.

PROFESSOR

Mister Howell, have you found them?

MR HOWELL

Yes, yes. They're down there. I just threw them some matches.

Professor, Mr. Howell, Mrs. Howell, Mary Ann, and Ginger gather around the hole.

LOW ANGLE FROM HOLE

PROFESSOR

Matches? There may be explosive gases down there. Gilligan --

INT. CAVE - DAY

Gilligan and Skipper sit in the water in the cave.

PROFESSOR (O.S.)

-- don't light that --

Gilligan lights the match.

EXT. CAVE ENTRANCE - DAY

LOW ANGLE FROM HOLE

Professor warns them to get away.

PROFESSOR

Get back, everybody! Get back!

An explosion ROARS out of the hole. The ground shakes and debris falls everywhere. The smoke begins to clear. Professor, Ginger, Mary Ann, and the Howells return to the hole.

GINGER

Skipper?

MARY ANN

Gilligan?

PROFESSOR

How are we gonna get them up from there?

EXT. PALM TREETOP - DAY

GILLIGAN AND SKIPPER

sit at the top of a palm tree. They are singed.

GILLIGAN

Never mind that. How you gonna get us down from here?

HIGH ANGLE ON CASTAWAYS

Gilligan and Skipper lie at the top of a coconut tree. Their clothing smokes. The other castaways look up at them.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT TWO

TAG

FADE IN:

EXT. HUT CLEARING - DAY

The castaways sit at their dinner table and discuss the water quality. A large shell, filled with water, sits on the table. The castaways scoop water out of it.

PROFESSOR

I never had any idea that water could taste so good.

SKIPPER

I never thought water could taste so good.

MR HOWELL

It's a marvelous year.

SKIPPER

Hold it down now, folks. I think we should have a few words from the man of the hour, my little buddy, Gilligan!

The castaways cheer and clap.

MR HOWELL

Hear, hear!

Gilligan stands.

GILLIGAN

Thank you. Thank you. It just goes to show what I can do when I concentrate on something.

SKIPPER

And you did this one all by yourself, Gilligan.

GILLIGAN

Yes, sir. And I know how to locate water now without help from anyone.

Gilligan lifts up a water-filled soup bowl-sized gourd to reveal his frog in it.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Well, got to give credit where credit is due.

(to frog)

All right?

The frog CROAKS.

CASTAWAYS

All right!

SKIPPER

Here's to Froggy!

GILLIGAN

as he holds the gourd with the frog close to his face. The frog CROAKS.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. GILLIGAN'S ISLAND - ESTABLISHING SHOT - DAY

FADE OUT.

THE END