Skipper:   Oh, never mind, Professor, I'll test her myself! Now Ginger, start reading.
Ginger:    Um, 36. 22. (pauses and looks at Skipper) 36? (does naughty fingers)
Skipper:   Well, Ginger, I was trying to figure out the longitude and latitude of,....this island.
Gilligan:  Oh no you weren't, Skipper, you were thinking about Gin-
Skipper:   Never mind, Gilligan! You try, Professor.
Professor: All right, Ginger, read my mind.
Ginger:    36, 22, 36.
Professor: Well, that's just the atomic weight of sodium hydro-chloride.

Lovey:     All brides look beautiful! 
Gilligan:  You mean she's gonna look worse after we're married? 

Skipper:   We're trying to signal that boat out there?
Gilligan:  What boat?
Skipper:   The boat out there.
Gilligan:  I don't see any boat.
Skipper:   Of course you don't.
Gilligan:  Do you?
Skipper:   No.
Gilligan:  Professor, do you see the boat?
Professor: Oh, I can't see it either.
Gilligan:  But it's out there, right?
Skipper:   Look, Mary Ann saw the boat out there.
Gilligan:  Can you see Mary Ann?
Skipper:   No. How can I see Mary Ann when she isn't even here?
Gilligan:  The same way you can see the boat.

Ginger:    Mary Ann is under the impression that I've been getting you to do 
           all my work for me.
Skipper:   (Looks at camera)
Ginger:    So you think so too?!  Well, do you know what I think?!
Skipper:   I most certainly do!!!

Thurston:  Oh Gilligan. 
Gilligan:  Oh hi Mr. and Mrs. Howell.
Lovey:     Is there something wrong Gilligan?
Thurston:  Yes yes my boy. You seem like you're in another world.
Gilligan:  Mr. Howell don't say that, I want to stay here in this world.
Thurston:  Permission granted. HAH!
Lovey:     Thurston you're so democratic.
Thurston:  Lovey, Lovey. Watch your language.

Bongo:     I thought you said we were going to get away from our fans!
Bango:     Yeah you said this island was deserted, and we'd be all alone!
Bingo:     Now how did I know it was inhabited? That helicopter pilot told 
           me this place was out of sight man!
Bango:     We MUST be way out! Get a load of these characters!

Skipper:   What time did you say this was Professor?
Professor: Shortly after 11.
Skipper:   Oh well then it couldn't have been me or Gilligan because we were 
           both sound asleep.
Professor: Both of you?
Skipper:   Well yes, eh...
Professor: Well then, eh, Skipper if you were asleep how could you know that 
           Gilligan was?
Skipper:   Becasue he told me when he woke up.
Professor: Well if Gilligan was asleep, how could he know that you were?
Skipper:   Well because I.... a... well...... yes. If there's anything I 
           can't stand is logic! 

Professor: We all appreciate your sacrifice Gilligan, but we need something 
           that won't interfere with the camera lens. Some type of glue.
Thurston:  Oh! Well, let's start drilling for some immediately!
Skipper:   Oh Mr. Howell, you don't drill for glue!
Thurston:  Oh no? You should see some of the oil wells I got stuck with!  
           Eeyahahaha!

Lovey:     Oh Professor you're marrrrrvelous
Thurston:  If you were Republican you'd be perfect!

Gilligan:  You didn't say something, the penny mention worker barbecue pit!

Lovey:     Skipper, my name happens to be Wentworth. And it remains Wentworth until after the ceramony.
Skipper:   Yes, ma'am.
Thurston:  Lovey, don't be so stubborn. You Mrs. Howell much longer than you were Ms. Wentworth.
Lovey:     Is that a remark concerning my age?

Gilligan:  One Skipper, two Skipper, three Professor four....
Skipper:   Five Professor, six Professor, seven Professor more...
  
Professor: Ginger, I've got no time for Tom Foolery.
Ginger:    I've got time for Tom, Dick and Harry Foolery too!!!!
   
Thurston:  No one can pull the wool over my eyes. Cashmere maybe, but wool, 
                 never.

Lovey:     I don't know how we're going to explain to our friends that we 
           spent several years with people who aren't even in the social 
           register.

Skipper:   Ginger's very damaging to us.
Gilligan:  Yeah, her testimony.
Skipper:   No, her legs.

Mary Ann:  Oh, here's an old slate bracelet, and old boyfriend in high school gave me.
Ginger:    How can you bear to part with it? Doesn't it do something to you?
Mary Ann:  Oh, yeah! Turns my wrist green.

Professor: I have an idea that may well be instrumental in securing for us 
           deliverance from our enforced isolation.

Professor: Gilligan, Benjamin Franklin is dead.
Skipper:   Exactly.
Gilligan:  He's dead? I didn't even know he was sick!

Skipper:   Gilligan, why don't you stop that. You don't know anything about 
           space.
Gilligan:  I know one thing about it. You take up more of it than I do.

Producer:  You call yourselves actors!?
Gilligan:  I don't call myself an actor.
Producer:  If I say you're an actor you're an actor!
Gilligan:  Ok! I'm an actor!
Producer:  Believe me, you are NO actor!

Gilligan:  Skipper, let's have breakfast.
Skipper:   We had breakfast.
Gilligan:  Let's have lunch.
Skipper:   We had lunch.
Gilligan:  Let's have dinner.
Skipper & Gilligan : We had dinner too.

Skipper:   (Talking about Gilligan) I don't dislike him. I mean, it's just 
           that I'd like to kill him every now and then.

Gilligan:  Hiya, Professor. What are you doing?
Professor: I'm making notes for a book. It's to be a chronicle of our adventures 
           on the island... I think it's a book people will want to buy, don't you?
Gilligan:  Sure, I'll buy one. I'm dying to find out what happens to us.

Professor: Stick out your tongue. Ahh yes, I think we'll have to operate!
Mary Ann:  Operate!  What have I got?
Professor: You have a severe case of roomisigloomis.
Gilligan:  Zat is what she has alright.
Mary Ann:  What is roomisigloomis?
Professor: It's a medical term my dear no concern of yours.

Thurston:  It is rather difficult being rich. If it wasn't for the money, 
           I'd rather be poor.

Gilligan:  Mr. Howell, do you want your cufflings back?
Thurston:  Do you think that I am the kind of man who would take back a 
           bribe, sir?

Thurston:  Look behind every successful man, and you'll find a woman.
Gilligan:  Yes, sir.
Thurston:  Just make sure his wife doesn't find her.

Thurston:  Do you think I began a dozen international corporations by 
           stooping to thievery?
Professor: Well, of course not.
Thurston:  Shows how naive you are. How else do you get to the top of the
           corporate ladder!

Skipper:   Mrs. Howell are you well?
Lovey:     Not very.

Gilligan:  Mrs. Howell, I might blow up.
Lovey:     Oh, don't you dare get angry with me!

Gilligan:  Pulu see Bagoomba.
Professor: That's right now hit the words hard and sound like you're mad.
Gilligan:  Pugie loo kimbammba !
Professor: No! No. Pulu see Bagoomba. Now try it again.

Lovey:     I understand everything perfectly!  Ginger isn't Ginger anymore, because 
           Mary Ann isn't who she was, when Ginger wasn't who she is, isn't that right Skipper?

Skipper:   Mr. Howell, You don't know what it's like out there in the ocean, 
           you may be bitten by a shark!
Thurston:  A shark bite a Howell, ha ha he wouldn't dare.
Skipper:   Besides we don't have room enough for your luggage.
Thurston:  Well that's different. If I can't go first class I won't go at all.

Skipper:   What are you stopping for?
Gilligan:  Skipper.
Skipper:   Never mind, I'll go ahead, Ooop! 
Gilligan:  There's an old rock there.
Skipper:   Thanks alot Gilligan. Cut that out.
Gilligan:  aye aye.
Skipper:   Ooop!
Gilligan:  Another one.

Ghost:     Wait...I hear a feet step...
Boss:      You hear a FEET STEP?

Gilligan:  Hey Skipper, what does this remind you of?
Skipper:   I don't know Gilligan...it must have just crawled in there.

Ginger:    Hold me tighter Professor.
Professor: I..uh I'm afraid I'll crush your dress.
Ginger:    Try... 

Gilligan:  You know what my grandmother always said, 'Never criticize 
           anyone else unless you can do better yourself.'    
Ginger:    That's it! Gilligan, you've done it again!
Gilligan:  I don't know what it is that I'm doing, but I sure as heck keep 
           doing it!

Professor: It would take a polyester derivative of an organic hydroxide
           molecule.

Professor: Kissing on the mouth is far from sanitary. It can lead to all 
           sorts of bacterial transfer.

Thurston:  This is a very difficult instrument (the Triangle). It's easy to
           play a wind instrument.
Skipper:   Yeah, especially for you with all that hot air.
Thurston:  Heavens to Toscanini! I've been insulted!

Skipper:   Gilligan, I can't seem to find a coconut that's big enough for my 
           cap.
Gilligan:  You should have gone to the other side of the island and got a 
           jumbo-sized one.
Skipper:   I don't think that's very funny.
Gilligan:  All I mean is that you're a big guy and got a big head...
Skipper:   Gilligan?
Gilligan:  And a big heart.
Skipper:   Yes....well.....what is it that you're doing?
Gilligan:  Making you. (Stuffing a life-sized manican of the Skipper)
Skipper:   That's suppose to be me?
Gilligan:  Only the bottom half.
Skipper:   Come on Gilligan, I'm not this big!
Gilligan:  Well Skipper, you said to make it life-like, remember?
Skipper:   But I'm not that big Gilligan!
Gilligan:  Sure you are.
Skipper:   I am not!!!
Gilligan:  Sure you are.
Skipper:   I am not Gilligan!!!
Gilligan:  Sure you are.
Skipper:   I am not!!! (WHACK!)